What the Hell is There To Do in Manhattan? I Mean, Really.

Last night, as I was spraying down my elephant, Gwendolyn, I wondered, What the hell am I going to do in New York next week? I mean, it's not like there's anything to do there, right?

O.K. I'm kidding. My elephant's name is really Larry, but he's having gender issues right now and I've decided to humor him as he goes through this trying phase.

But as I was saying, New York. I'll be in Manhattan next week, goofing off and going to a wedding. Well, not a wedding exactly, that's for close friends and family. I'm part of the extraneous guest list that gets to go to the reception. The young bride-and-groom-to-be are artists as evidenced by the 8x11 invitation I received in one of those large cardboard envelopes:

Anyway, I've got the whole rest of the week to "do Manhattan". Last year I did things like this:

I took a ride on the Staten Island Ferry where you can get THIS CLOSE to the Statue of Liberty!

I got THIS CLOSE to Chris Angel's blurry butt in Midtown:

I took a picture of this guy's dog in the Village:

I had dinner at THIS coffee shop:

I went to MOMA and saw THIS piece of art:

I took pictures of things in subway stations:

and train stations:

So, yeah. That kinda stuff.

Now if you have any MUST-SEE suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Got a favorite pizza place? Broadway show? Museum exhibit? A place to sit and blog to you guys? Cupcake place? Cannoli place?

Oh, and uh, if you know of any elephant-sitters with a LOT of patience and understanding when it comes to unpredictable hormonal sobbing and I'm Not Really A Waitress toenail polish, please send them my way.