30% off the regular price of one paperback. Which means of course that you print out 10 of them and make 10 trips to the bookstore.
Click here
Might I recommend Catch-22?
Borders Coupon (until 7/31)
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30% off the regular price of one paperback. Which means of course that you print out 10 of them and make 10 trips to the bookstore.
Click here
Might I recommend Catch-22?
Look out, Dave Barry!
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That's right, I've set my sights higher than J.K. Rowling.
Whaddya mean 'Who is Dave Barry?'. And no that's not Dave Barry, that's Ernest Hemingway...Sheesh!
Well, regardless of your ignorance, a quarterly online literary journal called Wild Violet will be publishing an essay of mine in their upcoming Summer or Fall Issue. It's the first piece of non-fiction I've gotten published. Stay tuned for further details. (i.e. which bat time, which bat channel, etc. although I suspect it will be the "same" ... get it?)
To The Moon, Google!
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First they introduced us to Google Maps, then we found out you could click on the Satellite image and get a real satellite view of just about anywhere in the world, swimming pools and all.
Now you can Google the moon! Be sure and zoom in all the way!
Now you can Google the moon! Be sure and zoom in all the way!
Amadeus Paints Houses
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So since we are moving, that means, as a natural course of events, we are selling the house we currently live in. We asked the contractor who was working on the house across the street to bid on repairing and painting our house. Another neighbor who is also moving asked them to repaint her house.
The contractor decided to be honest with us, as if we seemed like nice people and he'd tell us what he was gonna do. First of all, he wasn't licensed. I would like to submit this as Red Flag Exhibit A. Second of all, a certain one of his laborers was still in jail for something or other. This would be Red Flag Exhibit B. Thirdly, while his guys came to work sober, they were "tweakers" (not sure on the spelling of that as I do not have the latest information on synonyms for methamphetamine addicts and this would be Red Flag Exhibit C.)
Meanwhile, our neighbor had to leave her house while the guys painted. Since the front door was getting painted, she had to leave it unlocked. Now I don't know if these guys had a weekend bender and were still recovering or what. And I have a limited knowledge on what certain drugs will do to your body and how certain quantities and types of foods play a part in your professional behavior as a house painter, but SOMEBODY went into the house to use the bathroom and apparently had a difficult time getting everything to flush because he came over to our house to borrow a plunger, which means our neighbor did not have a plunger anywhere in the house because this guy would have found it and we know this because he also took it upon himself to dig through the kitchen cupboards and microwave himself some popcorn.
He might have gotten away with the toilet violation, had he also borrowed the scrubber, but there was no mistaking his lack of chef skills when our neighbor returned to the distinctive smell of burnt popcorn. I would like to submit these as Red Flag Exhibits D and E.
There not only articles, but Home Depot classes and entire books about how to hire a contractor. I can't tell you how many nightmare stories I have heard and read about people hiring contractors who never call back, never show up, start work and take forever to finish. And they are the ones who are licensed and have great references and seem professional as hell. And they HAVE TO HAVE TO be licensed; how else are you going to go through the hell of small claims court?
But ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you, would anyone in their right mind, after reviewing all the evidence hire these guys? Even unarmed with all the advice from articles, classes and books, I think the answer is pretty obvious.
So we hired them to paint our house. The boss of these guys, Steve, was very nice with a high laugh like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. He underbid any other licensed contractor by at least half. He and his crew did excellent work, paid close attention to detail, finished very quickly and were very professional. The man with whom I cosigned the loan on our new house was so impressed, he wrote a recommendation letter for Steve.
Now what did we do to get such successful results? We're not exactly sure. It could be that we fed them even though Steve told us we don't have to do that. It could be our charming demeanors and magnetic personalities. It could be that he's trying to get his license so he's trying harder.
Or is it just the fact that we decided to paint the front door ourselves?
The contractor decided to be honest with us, as if we seemed like nice people and he'd tell us what he was gonna do. First of all, he wasn't licensed. I would like to submit this as Red Flag Exhibit A. Second of all, a certain one of his laborers was still in jail for something or other. This would be Red Flag Exhibit B. Thirdly, while his guys came to work sober, they were "tweakers" (not sure on the spelling of that as I do not have the latest information on synonyms for methamphetamine addicts and this would be Red Flag Exhibit C.)
Meanwhile, our neighbor had to leave her house while the guys painted. Since the front door was getting painted, she had to leave it unlocked. Now I don't know if these guys had a weekend bender and were still recovering or what. And I have a limited knowledge on what certain drugs will do to your body and how certain quantities and types of foods play a part in your professional behavior as a house painter, but SOMEBODY went into the house to use the bathroom and apparently had a difficult time getting everything to flush because he came over to our house to borrow a plunger, which means our neighbor did not have a plunger anywhere in the house because this guy would have found it and we know this because he also took it upon himself to dig through the kitchen cupboards and microwave himself some popcorn.
He might have gotten away with the toilet violation, had he also borrowed the scrubber, but there was no mistaking his lack of chef skills when our neighbor returned to the distinctive smell of burnt popcorn. I would like to submit these as Red Flag Exhibits D and E.
There not only articles, but Home Depot classes and entire books about how to hire a contractor. I can't tell you how many nightmare stories I have heard and read about people hiring contractors who never call back, never show up, start work and take forever to finish. And they are the ones who are licensed and have great references and seem professional as hell. And they HAVE TO HAVE TO be licensed; how else are you going to go through the hell of small claims court?
But ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you, would anyone in their right mind, after reviewing all the evidence hire these guys? Even unarmed with all the advice from articles, classes and books, I think the answer is pretty obvious.
So we hired them to paint our house. The boss of these guys, Steve, was very nice with a high laugh like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. He underbid any other licensed contractor by at least half. He and his crew did excellent work, paid close attention to detail, finished very quickly and were very professional. The man with whom I cosigned the loan on our new house was so impressed, he wrote a recommendation letter for Steve.
Now what did we do to get such successful results? We're not exactly sure. It could be that we fed them even though Steve told us we don't have to do that. It could be our charming demeanors and magnetic personalities. It could be that he's trying to get his license so he's trying harder.
Or is it just the fact that we decided to paint the front door ourselves?
Tree Porn
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