I've Been Simpsonized

While contemplating a job offer from Dr. Wayne Campbell (he's a very reputable doctor from Scotland who needs the numbers to my bank accounts to receive payments for which he promises to give me 10% as my personal fee), I tried my hand (or head) at the new Simpsonizer.

I even added it to my MySpace Page.

Everybody's doing it, so I jumped on the banned damwagon.

And Viola!

And in the interest of being Fair and Balanced(tm), here is MrMuddPuppy Simpson.

Buy Buy Cell

For those of you about to jump on the latest Palm OS upgrade on your Treo smartphone - STOP! Do not go there! I mean, of course, you are an independent thinking human being and you can go there if you want...if you're an idiot. You must listen to your wise friends and learn from their mistakes when they tell you that they tried to upgrade their own Palm OS versions and ended up bricking their phones. And when I say "they", I mean me.

After I successfully "bricked my phone" as they say out there is user-forum land, I placed a call to the Verizon store where I purchased my phone and sat down to what I assumed would be a long winter's nap from hours and hours of being on hold.

Actually, the local store employee forwarded me to Verizon Tech Support who quickly affirmed that my phone was indeed a goner (I guess the Tech folks aren't up on the latest techie term "bricked") and sent me a replacement phone after confirming that my phone was still under warranty (which it was because I had just purchased it in February).

And since the new phone that arrived two days later already came with the new version of Palm OS, I didn't have to fret about that. Because the whole reason I wanted to upgrade was to resolve some known bluetooth issues. And the primary reason I bought the new Treo in February was so that I could use the bluetooth in my car and with the new cordless ear piece that I purchased. So now I should be able to use bluetooth, right?

Do I need to tell you how well the bluetooth works in my car? Yes? Well, it works about as well as making a 30 mile commute on the 405 freeway in 30 minutes on a Friday afternoon at about 5pm.

And the ear piece? I won't find out how that piece of crap doesn't work either until I get back down to L.A. which is where I have to assume I left it since I can't find it anywhere here in Sacto now that I actually need the damn thing.

So, yeah. A good day.

UPDATE: Harry Has Arrived!

Huzzah! Huzzah!

Don't ask me how, but I think the US Postal Service delivered it, even though it had a UPS tracking number. It appeared in our back patio, which is where the Postman thows it over the fence (again, don't ask).

OK...nobody talk to me...I'm busy!

Who Is Reading Harry Potter?

Not me.

Why?

Because my copy has been sitting on a UPS truck in West Sac since yesterday and I'm hearing UPS doesn't deliver on Saturday and NOBODY delivers on Sunday, so that little note ...here - I'll show you what it says:

WEST SACRAMENTO,
CA,  US  07/20/2007  1:55 P.M.  IN TRANSIT TO FINAL DESTINATION 

It just sits there on www.ups.com, mocking me.

It's my fault for experimenting with Overstock.com to see how long a company allegedly named after leftovers would send a book after it's publication date.  But if they're going to SHIP the dang thing on the 19th, why why WHY IN GOD'S NAME WHY would they use the only shipping company that doesn't deliver on Saturdays?!?!?!?

 

It's Comedy ... Jokes!

Today on This Week with Steve, we give you the Great Flydini...

It's Still Steeeve!

Here's Steve doing Michael Jackson from some old show called the New Show.

It's Steeeeeve!

It's Steve Martin Week here at Nanny Goats In Panties, so for you Steeeeve fans, it's going to be a real treat, whereas for you nonSteeeeve fans it's gonna suck butt.

Of Birthdays and Spam

So, today while wondering how an email with the Subject Line of "Ever Wanted a Fuck-Buddy?" got through the Yahoo spam filter, I got to thinking about turning a year older tomorrow. And how, my God, that's just one day, or one year, or however you wish to think of it, closer to the day I die. Which in turn, makes me think that life is short. Which in turn, makes me think how I'd better get off my ass and do something with my life. Like write. But at the same time, I must not worry about that too much because, of course, stress also affects one's life span. And if I think about that too much or let the thoughts evolve from that I end up in some wierd never-ending life-force-sucking vortex of "What is The Meaning of Life" and "What's the point of doing anything?" and all that. I have a friend, let's call him Dane (even though his real name is John) who introduced to me the notion of reaching the point in life known as the "Cosmic Fuck-It", that as far as I'm concerned needs no definition, and for those of you requiring it are nowhere near it anyway. It is this epiphany that I am beginning to believe is the de facto all-ness of our existence. You know, the answer to life, the universe and everything. How appropriate is that, Mr. Adams, to decide such a thing on the eve of my birthday labeled 42?

What the hell am I doing?

Twitter wants to know. Twitter friends want to know. But as far as Twitter is concerned, I have no friends. Reminds me of my first day at MySpace. You know, where you sign up and you get that system default friend, so that the gullible won't feel completely lonely?

What is Twitter, you ask? I don't really know. And they don't really explain it. And neither do any of my friends who have it. And neither will I. What you can do is go to my Twitter page, I think. And you can try to figure it out, and then add me, or follow me, or something. Then we can "communicate" because we never do now, right? So, as Mr. Rogers' neighbor would say, won't you be my friend?

Not Exactly Hamster Dance

Did you know that today is Workaholics Day? So why not take a break during these tedious times and watch a hamster chillin' on a piano.

I'm Up To My Neck in Tech

I keep complaining about how complicated life is, and how I want to simplify it, and there is so much new crap out there that I can't keep up with. I have all these new gadgets that I don't have time to read the manuals for, so I don't know how to work half of them half the time. And even if I do learn, I don't have time to attend to them in the way a grad student attends to her thesis - all day every day, living it breathing it, pooping it, etc. So each time I learn a little something about say, how the hell to work the video cam portion of my digital camera that has 147 other features (please see manual for How To Operate said 147 other features), I might not make another attempt at using it again until 3 or 4 weeks later, when I've completely forgotten how to use the damn thing and give up learning it because I'm just going to forget it anyway.

I need more brain, man.

Every time I see something new, I want to absorb it, be a part of it (like that Sylar fellow on Heroes, who may be the same guy who was on 24. Okay, not exactly like him, he was somewhat evil.), or be the first in my circle to take it on and show it off here. And so it goes with a little thing called SnapShots. Somehow this thing has changed the look of my website and every time I create a link, Snapshots sort takes it over and creates a preview picture for it. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe it'll drive you nuts. But I don't have enough readers to give a shit what you think, really.

And in the interest of trying to scrape my finger along the inside of everybody's cake batter bowl (ewwww, that doesn't sound right, let me try that again)...

The reason this new thing may stick is because it's one of those "Set It And Forget It" features. I don't have to learn any more about it, it just does its thing without me.

Kind of like a cat.

Next up... An attempt to learn Internet Feature #12,386: Twitter. Followed by Google Reader.