I'm not just talking about junk mail. I'm talking about all the mail. So for those of you who are sick of getting mail, any kind of mail, and want to know how I pulled it off, just follow these easy steps:
1. Go online to the USPS (United States Postal Service) website.
2. Follow instructions for Holding Mail (like, if you're on vacation or something for a few weeks).
3. Go on vacation.
4. Come back to post office to retreive mail. Be sure to bring a picture ID. Show picture ID. Woman behind counter will disappear to "the back" for approximately 10-15 minutes, then return with no mail having no idea where it is.
Perhaps, you've already surmised that this happened to yours truly. And for an anti-climactic turn of events, the mailman delivered all my mail later, but for a while there, I thought it had disappeared into the ethos, whichis what prompted this blog entry in the first place, but then I took too long to publish it and I didn't want to waste all those precious literary acts of genius, so there.
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