If you found an inanimate object, say for example, oh I don’t know, a little black notebook in one of the conference areas at the Sheraton Hotel in Chicago, a notebook that did not belong to you, as evidenced by the contact information on the inside cover that is NOT YOUR NAME and NOT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS, would you turn it in to Lost and Found or maybe even contact the owner yourself to return it? You would? Really?
Then where the hell were YOU when I lost it this weekend? Because I needed YOU to find my frickin’ notebook that had all kinds of random notes I’d been collecting at the Blogger’s Conference That Shall Not Be Named (because so many people are sick of hearing about it).
I realize Moleskine notebooks are coveted by some, but even when they are already used? Who keeps those to themselves?
You’re probably about to ask, “Well, what did you have in it?” and you’d be a fairly reasonable person to ask such a thing. Except if I knew the answer to that question, then I wouldn’t need to find it now, would I? In fact, the whole reason I write stuff down is because I immediately forget it and need it for reference later.
I cried to my fellow indifferent bloggers who gave me the obligatory “Oh, I’m sure it will turn up. Lost and Found will eventually have it.” When what they really meant was, “Quit your belly-aching you big baby. Why were you, a blogger, a person who spends all her time on a computer writing all the time, why were you writing long hand in a notebook? Idiot.”
And they would have a good point, actually, because I recently lost ANOTHER Moleskine notebook on a plane a few months ago and THAT ONE (which ALSO had my contact information in it) was never returned to me either. What is the matter with people that they can’t be bothered to turn things in to the Lost and Found, or send one lousy email? If I had found someone’s notebook, I would jump at the chance to help get it back to them, paying shipping and everything, but that’s because I have this little White Knight gene, that seems to be missing from everyone who stumbles on MY quilling genius.
Right about now, you’re probably asking, “Well, where was the last place you saw it?” and let me tell you, dear reader, I’m so glad you asked me that because not only do I know the last place I saw it, I have pictoral proof:
Let the record show, that in my right hand at exactly 12pm on Saturday, is the missing notebook in question, which can only mean one thing: that’s right, the Michelin Man stole my notebook.
Is this some cosmic lesson that I shouldn’t be spending so much money on paper, that I should stick with the Dollar Store elementary school notepads? Or is it that I can’t be trusted with paper and pen?
Did I mention that I have a history of stolen writings? Oh yeah, some literary god or the ghost of Mark Twain or whoever has been continuously throwing up obstacles to keep me from writing. When I was traveling all over Europe doing that post-collegiate backpacking/Eurail living-on-$25-a-day thing over the summer of 1990, I kept a journal of my traveling adventures. Then, on the last day of my 3-month trip, my backpack was stolen. From the trunk of a car at a London tube station. I can understand a guy wanting my stale underwear and unused toothpaste, but my travel diary? Did he take it and become some best-selling author somewhere in Romania on my literary brilliance?
You would think that I’d be used to people making off with my writing by now, become desensitized to it, detached even. But instead, each subsequent occurance increases my disbelief in the next, like the contestant in a game show who keeps getting the answer right and approaching that million dollar prize, or that Home Run Derby guy who kept hitting it into the stands a couple of weeks ago, one after the other, breaking records. What was that guy’s name again? Marshall? Johnson?
Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time and all at this Conference That Shall Not Be Named. And Ann from Ann’s Rants gave me a walking tour of the neighborhood. It was a fine day and we strolled in our Saturday hats to Millenium Park:
So while the weekend wasn’t a total bust, I think I’ve learned that when it comes to notebooks, I can’t have anything nice.
But YOU can…
Nanny Goats in Panties is hosting its first giveaway for a Rachel Ray 10-piece cookware set, as noted in the upper left sidebar. To enter, just click HERE or on the pots and pans below… (if you click on the panties, you’ve gone too far)
No trip to Chicago is complete for all things goat without a pop-in to the world famous Billy Goat Tavern, which is famous for two things, really. It is the place about which the SNL Cheezeborger Cheezeborger! sketch parodies. It is also famous for some baseball curse that I don’t really know about, but you can read about it here. See? That’s two baseball refereneces I’ve flubbed up today.
[...] Prize: $179 Rachel Ray 10 piece Cookware Set Who’s eligible USA Contest ends: August 2, 2009 http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/2009/07/chivalrouslessness-in-thieves-and-that.html One 2 Try Prize: Ebay $25.00 Gift Card Who’s eligible USA Contest ends: 8/2 [...]
I totally forgot to go there. How was the food anyway?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You had the option of seeing Tim Gunn… and you chose the Michelin Man? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!! Besides, I’m sure Mr. Make-It-Work would have been much more generous and would never have taken your personal belongings like that rubber marshmallow…
SHEESH! Losing things drives me crazy. Yeah, I wish people had a bit more consideration. I’ve turned in all kinds of things-iphone, wallet with money in it.
What good is a notebook to anyone but the person whose notebook it is?
I was always wondering who used those moleskine notebooks…
**fanny pack** (Beth) Ha ha! I won’t tell you what that sounds like to me! We call them ‘Bum Bags’
Shame about your note book though!
Don’t hate on me but I had to cancel my SITScation trip. I am going to be in a wedding on the weekend it’s planned for and I cannot miss this wedding. Tiffany was very gracious about it but I am totally crushed. Fortunately, Blogher is in NY next year and that’s close enough for me to crash.
Dang me, I missed you! Next year!
I wish I would have known! I would have held the Michelin Man down while you checked his folds. No telling what he’s got in there..
Oh, that sucks! He does look pretty sketchy to me. And it was awesome meeting you, for like three seconds!
I knew that Michelin Man was a little squirrely.
Also, you are hilarious and I’m putting you in my feed reader right now. Great to meet you in Chicago!
Well, if the Michelin Man starts blogging something like “Rams in briefs” we’ll have proof, don’t you think?
Uh oh. People are sick of the Conference That Shall Not Be Named? Oops.
It was so cool meeting you. And if I didn’t say it, I love your writing too. I’m so sorry about the journal AND for being one of many who assured you it would be at Lost & Found.
You and the Michelin Man make the cutest couple.
I attended a band reunion (they that must not be named), and brought out my oh-so-carefully assembled photo albums. The cleaning crew started work early, and threw the albums in the trash because “no one wanted them.” Good Lord man, I’ve never wanted to kill someone so much in my life!
I don’t cook but I tweeted your giveaway anyway. I hope it will get you more entries.
That notebook is huge! I have a small notebook that I jot ideas in and I would be so bereft if I lost it. (I’m reminding myself now that I don’t believe in the jinx gods.)
I lost all of my writing in such a terrible way that I can’t write it here. I’ll email it to you. Please destroy it as soon as you’ve read it. I’m serious.
Glad I met you in Chicago! Now, gimme some pots and pans.
Maybe invest in a small tape recorder. Plus, that will lessen your chances of getting carpel tunnel.
?
Love the tavern pic!
Did you check in one of his rolls?
SO glad we got to meet and spend some good quality time together. You are wonderful. xo
This is a separate comment, for the giveaway. I love your goat header. I had a goat once. He didn’t do well. Well and I didn’t know what to do with him. Of course he was a gift and all… (who buys goats for gifts? My husband!)
just signed up for the newsletter. For the giveaway dealio. Rachael Ray drives me insane (even though she spells her name the right way). But the pots and pans are right up my alley.
If *I* had found it, I would return it. White Knight gene and all…
I hope that whoever found it wars with their conscience and finds that they have no peace until they ship it back to you…with a note of apology for not doing so sooner.
I’m just waitin’ for the photos
LOVE that one of Ann…xx
I hope you find your notebook!
This is why I write all my notes on my hands. I’ve been known to scribble tidbits on the legs as well.
I certainly can’t lose them and as long as I don’t shower, I’m good.
I think you would dig me, I got more rolls then the Michelin Man. I bet you hear that often after that winner picture.
Yeah. I wonder…do you think the Michelan man swipes stuff hoping that people will grope around in his rolls of rubber/flab/whatever that is? Man. The Michelan man is a pervert?
Maybe they put it in the mail today? Mail from Chicago to California can take up to ten days…there’s still hope.
I love the neon goat head. Priceless.
Enter me for the pans, yo! Thanks and I hope you find your notebook
Great pictures. And who knew the Michelen man was so evil? I love Chicago. Been to the Billy Goat Tavern myself. I’m very jealous that I wasn’t there…
Obviously, the notebook is stuck in between the rolls of rubber. Much like things get stuck in my rolls of flab.
I always KNEW the Michelin Man was a thief LOL …Sneaky guy in a not so subtle white puffy outfit!
It’s funny how he put it right back in your hand for the photo!
Love your posts!
Next time you buy a notebook, get a pair of handcuffs. Not only will you be the talk of the town, you won’t forget the notebook. [tee hee]
just tweeted about the give away
Sorry to hear about your notebook. Hope it turns up safe someplace and you can get it back. Love the hat by the way.
I was NOT indifferent to your pleas about your lost Moleskine.
I was…um…different…?
Anyway, you know what I mean.
~ A.
It looks like to me that the Michelin man has lost a few spare tires hasn’t he? LOL
and yup I’d have to say that’s one snazzy hat there girlie!
it sucks eggs about your notebook though.
Crap! I am so sorry you lost your notebook. That’s happened to me before and well, I cried like a big baby for days!
Love your pic! I’d pass up Tim Gunn for the Michelin too.
And you pic of Ann is a riot!!!!
Welcome home. I hope the notebook eventually turns up.
xo
Wow. I hope I wasn’t one of those indifferent bloggers. It fun to meet and eat with you.
I sure do hope your notebook shows up. I would DIE if I lost mine, especially since I cant remember anything unless I write it down!
Did you search the folds on his legs?
It was so great to meet you in Chicago!
I once found a wallet (minue the $$) in Paris. It clearly belonged to a tourist in the States so I sent it back with a note. Turns out it had been pickocketed 2 years before and the people were just flabbergasted that I sent it back. They missed the pictures and of course driver’s license.
I hope some kind soul does that for you.
eep, deleted your email, : D try again, please.
ACK!!! ouch. That sux big aluminum caplet hats.
I lost my stainless water bottle. TWICE. I got it back and then lost it again. But that just kept my hydrated, which pales in comparison to keeping track of your brain matter.
Hope it turns up. At any rate, weren’t those opera singers magnificent?
xo
I do love the hat. As for the notebooks it’s not stolen memories, it’s stolen writing.
Am I the 20th person to make a “duh, your notebook’s stuck in the Michelin Man’s fat rolls” joke?
It was lovely to meet you!
Are you sure you didn’t leave it under The Bean in Chicago? At the Conference That Will Not Be Named? Hope you locate it soon. BTW, SITS sent me by…and I’m having a giveaway where EVERYBODY wins, so please come on down!
Damn that Michelin Man! Remind me never to go out with him. If I lost my Moleskin, I wouldn’t know where my parents lived anymore, since that’s the only place I have their address.
Uhm, it’s a bitch to get old. heh heh. Just wait ’til you cross the 50 threshold, then you can really forget it. You will lose your panties and be just Nanny Goat - Naked.
I am glad you had fun in spite of your literary loss. Did you look in the Michelin Man’s rolls?
I’m afraid that I not only would have kept the notebook, but I would have used it for the basis of a series of blog posts. Heck, a whole new blog.
And you know, I might have felt a little bad about it, had you not flaunted that you met the Michelin man. You can’t have a notebook and famous friends! That’s just greedy.
nice rant. im always forgetting where my stuff is too. maybe you buried it somewhere in your backyard, did you check there?
Maybe someone stole it and put it on ebay in hopes to make a profit!!! From now on you are only allowed to write on cheap paper napkins and bathroom mirrors.
If we win, can we use the pans to bash Rachael Ray in the head?
Hate that bitch.
Try writing your musings on your arm (or maybe your thigh if you run out of space).
A searing pain will alert you if someone tries to steal it.
That is not the proper way to wear a thought screen helmet. Unless of course you do want to be abducted by aliens.
Loved the Conference, learned: pack 2 pairs of dress heels for future events. ; )
Dang girl. You need to start carrying a smaller notebook..that you can stash down your pants near your lady bits.
I feel your pain also, I to have what I call “The notebook” where I keep all my book idea and blog posts. I can only assume that the person who found your notebook..saw it as a precious artifact..since no one writes in a paper notebook anymore. I would check EBAY.
Now see I have one of those notebooks too. I take it with me so when I have a brilliant idea I can write it down. For some odd reason my notebook like my brain remains empty.
I hope you find your brain, um I mean notebook.
PS Your gorgeous.
What a shame. Hard to believe people are so mean. However it’s just about impossible to believe that you didn’t get the one on the plane back. Surely the airline staff found it.
I was getting off a plane in Rhodes last year and noticed someone’s wallet on a seat. I gave it to the steward as I thought she could hand it in more quickly than me. We had just arrived on holiday so I could imagine the person’s horror at losing it before they got there. Just hope she did get it to him.
Yes I would have handed your notebook in. I would have hated to lose mine when I worked. It had my life in it never mind notes. Maybe it’s time to just use a cheapo notepad.
What a lovely hat! I hear metallics are all the rage these days. Maybe someone stole your notebook hoping it contained information about where you got that amazing chapeau.
This post made me ACHE for you. I, too, have lovely little notebooks that I would cry if I lost. I, too, attended BH sans any technological means of writing beyond a kind of fancy stick containing some gooey black stuff that can be discriminately scrawled across paper. I, too, graduated college in the early years of 199-. But most of all, it KILLS me that I did not get to hug you in person there.
There’s no chance you secretly live in SE Michigan, and that we could just meet up for coffee tomorrow, is there?
So sorry about the notebook. Hope you can still remember how much fun you had and share w/ us.
I am sorry you lost your notebook. Blast your bad memory. At least you have some great pics. Hey.. if nothing else, you can pretend that you were drunk the entire time and have someone tell you of all of the crazy things you did. If you are lucky, they will the part out about you streaking naked through Billy Goat Tavern.
I am sure you ad a wonderful time.
Look between the all weather radial and the steel belted whitewall on Mich’s thigh and you will find your notebook.
Glad you went to the Billy Goat Tavern. Would have been criminal if you had not gotten there. Did they give you anything free (since you’re peeps and all) or did they just yell at you?
Maybe you should consider a fanny pack…
Well, according to that photo, it’s in your hand. Did you look there?
Maybe your writing is just so good that people covet it.
loved the ‘if you’ve gone to the panties you’ve gone too far’!