Marriage 101: How To Keep Romance Alive Through Your Grocery List

Who knew the grocery list could be romantic, I mean without champagne and chocolates. I do like the baby llama 4-pack, although it could be tricky getting them home.

llamas are very cool. I keep asking the publicist for one ’cause they make excellent goat guards.
Mmmmm, lettuce

I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and assume that not only is the lettuce for the baby llamas, but also the Doritos and potato chips? Hmmmm??

This is great! If I was married, I would love it if my husband would do this for me…Lord knows I need a laugh when I’m at the grocery store.

Just be sure to get the llamas and not the alpacas. They can be tricky to tell apart, especially when they’re side by side in the store like regular yogurt and Greek yogurt. Also, be aware that llamas have extremely bad breath. I read that in a bathroom trivia book.

I love this! And my hubby does it too! Sometimes I don’t get a weird item in the middle of a list, but something like this “You’re a giant pooty head.” I know that makes no sense whatsoever to the uninitiated. It’s too hard to explain, so let me just say I take it as the term of endearment it is. Also, since about 1997, we have never written “cat food” on a list. It’s always “cat fud,” which is a nod to this Far Side cartoon: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mountain_ear/58683008/

I’m glad you don’t pick up the baby llama 6-pack. Four are manageable, but six? You’re just askin’ for trouble then.

OMG! You read Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, don’t you!? We have most of the series, which is probably something like 20 of them. I don’t know what that says about us. I’ll just leave it at that.

Well, that does it. I’m thinking I really need to spice things up with my husband and you’ve given me some great ideas. Oh wait, he isn’t here. In fact, he’s only here on weekends. But I think I’ll start spicing things up with the mailman! You’ve given me some great ideas for notes I can leave for him (or her, I’m not picky). Thanks Margaret!

I love it!!! Especially the llama part! My hubby and I do silly things, too, like leaving rubber geckos in the shower and ceramic frogs in the toilet to remind each other of our days in Australia when these were every day occurrences. And I almost always put a little something something in his suitcase when he travels….no details on that….blush blush!

We’re on to you, Margaret! This is actually a plea for diamonds and something furry rather than silly love notes.

That is very sweet. I think little surprises like that really keeps the magic popping. My hubby has a thing for llamas, too. What is that?

I would sneak in an Audi

We always write goofy stuff onto the grocery list. My daughter has picked this up and added kittens/5pc to the shopping list on my phone. I don’t have the heart to clear it or tell her there weren’t any kittens at the store I went to.
LOVE IT!

See, now I thought the silliness was asking for sliced American cheese! The only thing sillier would have been if he’d written Kraft Dinner on that list. Hahahaahahahaahaha! Cough.

See, now I thought the silliness was asking for sliced American cheese! The only thing sillier would have been if he’d written Kraft Dinner on that list. Hahahaahahahaahaha! Cough.

That is too cute!
I used to do that when I would write the list for Bill to go to the grocery store after my surgery. I would add to the list things like “100 kisses on the back of my neck” and “your undying love and devotion.”
When he got home he said that there were a couple of things that wouldn’t fit in the bag and would come over and give me a big hug and a few kisses on my neck.
I just love romance…. just like you! =)

Plus, do you get paper or plastic with that?

Well, Pricilla, here’s hoping you get a llama, although I guess they’re cheaper by the foursome.

I’m wondering how long it would take for baby llamas to go through a ton of shredded lettuce, although if they’re like teenage boys…

As long as you don’t mind people thinking you’re the village idiot for laughing out loud by yourself in the laundry aisle.

I’m so glad you reminded me of this. Knowing me, I’d grab the alpacas in a fit of haste.

Little notes that make us laugh get passed around almost daily in our house, though not about llamas, they spit at you.

When I read the first list I thought maybe you ate llama meat in the US and that was a 4 pack of baby llama steaks!

Yes, there is no way I could fit a llama six-pack in the back of my car, even if they are babies. And that Far Side cartoon is a classic because I totally remember “cat fud”!

Also? I think “You’re a giant pooty head” is beyond endearing! You’re so lucky to have a man who thinks that of you.

What a great idea, leaving notes for the mailman. I can’t wait to hear how that goes. Good luck!

Curses! Foiled again!

I love that you leave a little something something in the toilet. How romantic is that! And brilliant!

I have no idea. And I’m afraid to venture a guess, because every time I try to figure it out, porno music rings in my head.

ooooooh, whoever has you is lucky!!

In the interest of having this conversation with you on 5 different platforms, I just ran to the cupboard to check the Kraft box and sure enough…it says Kraft Dinner. Only what it really says is “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner” and “dinner” is in fine print. Which I guess means that stuff just flies right past us Americans as we are known to never read the fine print. So, in summary and conclusion, if I had a million dollars, I would bump “dinner” up to second billing.

Carla - I was going to say that you’re daughter is a hoot, kidding around like that, but the way you tell it makes it sound like she’s not joking at all and really really really wants a kitten. Or 5 pieces of a kitten.

It’s adorable as all get out, though!

1. I am a man - check ! (duh)
2. I have a girlfriend - check !

Cool ! I can do this totally !

Lets see… 1 bark of poodle, 3 mews of kittens, 2 horns of a red camel … oh wait … those are our witch-doctorey ingredients

I’ll try again later.

I’ll keep you posted. If it ends up “R” rated, I’ll send you a private email.

That’s absolutely great. I caught the 2,000 lbs of lettuce, but I shrugged over the llama 4-pack, thinking it was just some weird thing you Californians have.

Awwww, your Bill is a sweet sweet man!

Ha! Well, he was kidding, but for all I know there is a llama section in the meat department!

Sounds like it would be a challenge to add random things to YOUR list! Unless, “box of crackers” would be considered unusual and therefore hilarious.

Well, I wouldn’t put it past us Californians to have llama burgers on the menu sooner or later.

My eyes immediately went to the 2000 pounds of shredded lettuce and that would certainly make me laugh while shopping.
What would he do if you were able to purchase one of his silly items?

I could have an affair with the mail man, but my husband is the mail man so that sort of defeats the purpose…sigh…guess, I’m back to not knowing who my next conquest will be.
As for your grocery shopping list idea, I think it’s great. Although to really spice things up, one could also write “800 packs of chili powder”…that’s spicy, right? And you can never have too much chili powder in the house, it adds a nice touch to spaghetti sauce. You’re welcome

Well, Bobbi, if I had gone to Costco, he would be Googling “1001 ways to use shredded lettuce”, I can tell you that!

Right! — and Plus…chili powder lasts forever if you keep it in a cool dark place.

You betcha… I think I’ll keep him. =)

I actually thought it was some kind of microbrewery beer. You know how they all have strange names.

Ha!! A Llama huh? Now what aisle do I find that in????
Thanks for the tip!
Hugs
SueAnn

I do this too, only I’m more apt to write something about sexual toys and illegal narcotics. Now that our daughter has learned to read, however, I’m going to have to refine my sense of humor. (I’m a man BTW). I think humor livens up a marriage much more than your traditional go-out-to-eat-smoke-a-joint-and-get-sloshed-once-a-month-thing. Don’t you?

I need glasses because at first glance I thought I read “baby mama.”

I love this post and makes me think how women need to “scoot into the consciousness of men” these things. I’m still single, but when I find my significant other I will remember your words: “if your partner is a man, you can’t come right out and ask him to do this. It has to be his idea.” I think not doing this is the reason I’m still living single.

Sweet, with tips like this, I’ll be dropping by again. I have a theory: If I read what women right, I’ll learn stuff that you like. Once I know what you like, I can use a process of elimination to figure out what you don’t like and one I figure this out, I’ll just keep on annoying her to the best of my ability. Thanks for this Margaret.

My husband does this! He frequently adds “a pint of Old Harper.” (This makes sense if you’ve seen “American Graffiti” - it’s his favorite movie.)

Why, they’re in the same aisle as the alpacas, apparently.

First of all, thank you for clarifying your gender. Granted, I made the assumption based on your handle, but sometimes you never know about these things. And kids sure get in the way of some good long nasty profanity, don’t they?

The thing is, even though I said that, men can be more complex creatures than women give them credit for. Because while some things have to be their idea, at the same time, they will insist that you DO tell them exactly what you want because they can’t read your mind. Sounds like a woman to me.

Ha! You are welcome, Billy. I just hope you didn’t feel overly stereotyped as a man, because I know it’s more complicated than that. But I had to pick something and run with it.

I love that your husband does it too! Another point for the men!

It’s been awhile since I saw American Graffiti, so I don’t get the reference completely. Unless one can guess that it’s a quote or a beer from the movie. Or both.

Finally. A good reason to consider marriage. ;)

It’s from the scene where Terry “The Toad” goes into the liquor store to buy some “hard stuff.” He’s nervous and underage, but tries SO hard to be cool when he approaches the clerk! He starts asking for random items and casually includes the booze in the list of items—”..lemme have a Three Musketeers, and a ballpoint pen,
one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flashlight
batteries, and some beef jerky.”

Going grocery be sure it is needed.Always asking your spouse what they want to eat and needed.Making grocery list is very important so u know what is your budget for that.Baby LLamas and shredded lettuce it is to go…budgetting is very important.

Going grocery be sure it is needed.Always asking your spouse what they
want to eat and needed.Making grocery list is very important so u know
what is your budget for that.Baby LLamas and shredded lettuce it is to
go…budgetting is very important.

OMG - I totally remember that scene! Thank you for taking me back there.

Yes that’s true and confusing. Maybe we’re all from Mars and Venus.

Flawless post, Margaret!

I just finally realized WHY I keep forgetting things at the grocery store.

1) I NEVER make a grocery list.

2) I’m single.

I have to agree with you. It’s so important to keep the romance going in a relationship by sharing random acts of silliness. When I was in a relationship, I use to enjoy writing a short love letter on the bathroom mirror with a bar of soap, so that when he woke up in the morning he would see it staring at him in the face. Romantic, hu?

My favorite love letter was….F**K you!

No wonder I’m single.

Bwhahhahahahaahhahahaha!

GASP! I would LOVE to get a love letter like that.
It’s the little things.

My husband and I “conservatively” sext each other while his is in the grocery store. Does that count?

That totally counts! Although with this whole “sexting” scandal that keeps going around, I hope neither of you are politicians or anything.

My dad actually does that to my mom’s list sometimes! It lives on the whiteboard on the fridge, and every so often when I’m visiting I will notice oddities that are in Dad’s handwriting.

That’s so sweet!