Hello and welcome to Marriage 101, the marital advice column where I push my opinion regarding what makes for a happy marriage and you just sort of tolerate it to humor me.
Today’s topic is “How to Keep Romance Alive in Your Marriage Through Your Grocery List”.
As we all know, when you’ve been hitched for a few years, you start taking each other for granted and let certain efforts (like bathing) fall to the way side. It’s human nature to get a little lazy when you’re coasting through a relationship, but make no mistake, this is a dangerous path that leads to marital destruction and the next thing you know, one of you is sleeping with the mailman.
That’s why my husband and I like to keep it interesting with little things. Little romantic things. We’ll surprise each other with random acts of silliness or exorbitant purchases we have no business making and probably can’t afford and why should we have to pay the mortgage every single month anyway, in order to maintain that certain mystery. The secret is to make sure your spouse does not settle into too deep of a rut.
This brings me to my husband’s latest romantic endeavor. We keep an ongoing grocery list on the kitchen counter. It is a living document, so it’s constantly added to until it’s time to go to the store.
Now this might look like your every day grocery list on a nasty piece of paper, but if you take a second look, you’ll notice that my ever-surprising husband has added a couple items when I wasn’t looking so that as I’m schlepping through the produce section, he will make me smile.
It’s like a little love note, really.
And I’m sharing with you this intimate moment between marital partners (which occurs in aisle 6 of the supermarket and I’m by myself, but still), because I want you to feel special like I feel special when he does things like this. You’re probably thinking, “Oh my God, that’s brilliant, but how do my partner and I incorporate that into our own relationship?”
What an excellent question.
The problem is, if your partner is a man, you can’t come right out and ask him to do this. It has to be his idea. So maybe you forward this post to him, only don’t tell him I told you because that ruins the whole spontaneity aspect because, as I said, it has to be his idea, not yours. So maybe you tell a friend to forward it to him. Then your man will be able to screw with your grocery list with the required enthusiasm.
On the other hand, you two could just share this idea and use it as a springboard to find other ways to surprise each other, like with, for example, oh, I don’t know….diamonds or a pet giraffe.
If your partner is of the female persuasion, you’re in luck, because chances are she has not read this and you can truly surprise her. Again, it doesn’t have to be the grocery list, it could be something like, um….platinum and/or something furry. But that’s just a suggestion. You know her better than I do. I’m sure you’ll think of something.