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VIP Means Very Invisible Patrons

This is my neighborhood Walgreens.

walgreens, walgreens pharmacy, drug store

Upon first glance, it might seem like your average friendly neighborhood drug store, until you get a closer look.

police parking, walgreens

Nothing about this says, “friendly neighborhood”, am I right people?

Aside from doughnut shops and the “House of Handcuffs”, who else needs a reserved parking spot for police?

What scenario requires the cops to have VIP parking? Some eight year-old girl stealing nail polish? By the way, that would totally be Walgreens’s fault for placing all that make-uppy stuff right by the front door–it simply doesn’t keep honest people honest, is my point.

I realize that even though they are a DRUG store, they put all their drugs (OTC or otherwise) in the farthest back corner so that you have to walk through all that makeup and holiday candy and Cheese Whiz and As Seen On TV crap to get to what you came for in the first place, but you might be tempted to stop and purchase items other than drugs simply because you walked past it. Plus, you needed a respite during that 3-mile trek around the store whose specials and random stock bounces you toward the pharmacy in the back like a pinball machine ball. Walgreens has more endcaps and impulsive buy items per-capita than anything else in the nation.

So anyway, let’s say some bozo has decided to either rob the place or do something illegal in there that prompts a call to the fuzz. I submit that the kind of person who is pulling a fast one in the drug store is also disregarding other laws by using the restricted parking spot that is closest to the front door for getaway purposes.

Then the cops arrive, see that someone has parked in their VIP spot, utter a few choice words about the illiteracy of this town, and begin cruising the parking lot in search of another available space while pulling their parking ticket pad out of the glove compartment, because boy, are they gonna let that bozo who parked in their spot have it.


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I’m Currently in 3rd Place…

P.S. If you enjoy reading Nanny Goats in Panties as much as I do, please consider voting for me to win Best Local Blogger in the KCRA A-List contest by clicking the A-List box above, or the pink box near the top of the sidebar or the link in this sentence. I’m currently in 3rd place and need your vote to make it to the top. Thank you!

An extended version of my groveling for votes can be found here.

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  1. Leslie says:

    The drug stores here in Indianapolis get robbed all the time. A couple of years ago, a drunk cop killed a civillian on a motorcycle. When they pieced the timeline together of his day, there was video footage of him going into wal-greens IN UNIFORM, buying a jug of cheap vodka. I have no idea where this fits in your story. I just wanted to share.

    1. I’m sure it totally fits in this story somehow. That’s one crazy story you got there.

  2. Timmy Boyle says:

    The House of Handcuffs, eh.

    1. I think it’s meant to be taken in any myriad number of ways, depending on where your mind goes, I guess.

  3. J. Bear Savo says:

    I always wanted a parking lot with signs that read “Reserved for Assholes” and see who parks there.

    1. That…would be awesome. Oh, to have a hidden camera for something like that. 🙂

  4. I’ve never seen a reserved spot for the police, but if I had a store or restaurant, they would be my vip’s for sure… after all, when you call 911 and remind them of your reserved spot, wouldn’t they come quickly? 🙂 That sign is so cool!

    1. Good point, Katherine, although as a customer it is a little discomforting. I mean, now it looks like they are EXPECTING the police. And maybe that is the point. I wonder if that acts as a theft deterrent. Hmmm….

    2. Good point, Katherine, although as a customer it is a little discomforting. I mean, now it looks like they are EXPECTING the police. And maybe that is the point. I wonder if that acts as a theft deterrent. Hmmm….

  5. I’ve always HATED how DRUG STORES, keep all of the MEDICATION way in the BACK so you have to walk through the whole damn building. UGH.

    I am currently sick, and I am DREADING going to pick my scripts, because that walk to the back might as well be in another state. Maybe I’ll send my father instead!

  6. Mike S says:

    Thanks for providing my best laugh this month!

    1. You are welcome, buddy!

  7. Jottergirl says:

    Next, they will have a special drive through lane just for the coppers. Sheesh.

    1. That…would be awesome. Not to mention good for another blog post. 🙂

  8. ReformingGeek says:

    They want to keep them happy so they’ll respond to the 911 calls. Besides, you know the powered sugar donuts are right there by the register, right?

    1. Ha! You probably meant powDered sugar donuts, but powered sugar donuts is probably more accurate. 🙂

  9. Jayne says:

    Maybe it’s supposed to be a deterrent. Like robbers will see it and think, “Crap. They’ve got their own parking spot” and then move on. But if so, they should just park an out-of-commission police car there all the time. I may be giving this way too much thought…

    I’m voting. Hope you win!

    1. I don’t think you gave it too much thought, but then I’m the one who busted out my camera and took the time to blog about it, so who am I to talk? 😉

      Thanks for the vote, Jayne!

  10. tessatalks says:

    They have the same sign here in Elk Grove. I found it to be alarming that there was so much crime at the store that they needed a spot for the police.

    1. It’s like seeing bullet proof glass between you and the tellers at banks. Until 5 years ago, I lived in Elk Grove and don’t remember seeing them there, and it’s curious, or disturbing that they have them now.

  11. Lorri S says:

    Wow, never saw anything like that before, lol

    1. I wasn’t sure if I lived in a cave and everyone had one of these, or if it was an unusual sight to see. It’s sounding like the former, though. 🙂

  12. Hilarious as always! Perhaps the local police are made up of geriatrics? They need quick access to their nitro pills and Lipitor so that they can quickly get back to protecting and serving. Oh, wait. They still have to zig zag through the store like the rest of us shmucks so it doesn’t really matter where they park.

    Don’t get me started on Walgreens in general. I have to use the pharmacy a lot and my local one is draconian that they have permanently shut the armored door at the “drop off” counter and since apparently that didn’t stop customers from pounding on it, they have permanently put a large turnstile of sunglasses in front of it…

    1. Ha! Oh man, that sounds positively medieval.

  13. Cheryl P. says:

    That is really funny. I don’t think any of the Walgreens in KC have reserved parking for cops. (and I will tell you that Walgreens are about on every corner here) Like you, I don’t really think there is a huge demand for front row parking for the police dept. at a drug store. Handicapped, yes, ailing, yes, mother’s with babies on board, maybe …but healthy, fit police officers…..I would think they could walk a couple of car lengths.

    1. I know! In fact, I was thinking that cops could just pull right up to the front without even needing a parking spot. I mean, what are they afraid of – getting a ticket for illegally parking?

  14. Pricilla says:

    I don’t even want to know what prompted that….although the publicist has told me that the Walgreen’s in Missoula has been robbed so many times for its drugs that she will have to look the next time she goes there to see if they have one too.

    Hmmm, I’ll bet a goat entering the store would be an excellent distraction for you to be able to swipe your nail polishy stuff

    1. I didn’t even realize that the way I said the thing about the eight year old girl makes it sound like I was talking about myself – that is what you were implying, right? That I was an eight year-old thief? Well, actually I probably was, but not at a Walgreens.

      1. Pricilla says:

        This goat has a bad headache today and missed the 8 yr old girl part. She is seeing double and only reading every third word.

        She really should be in bed heavily medicated. Well, she is heavily medicated but she should be in bed.