How To Do Your Patriotic Duty on Independence Day

Independence Day represents more of what this country is about than any other holiday. And on this Independence Day, I have never been more proud to be an American by celebrating the founding of this great nation with a proper mashup of our justice system and America’s favorite pastime: watching television.

If you love this country, if you are a true patriot, you are consuming an entire apple pie as you watch the boob tube.

And I’m not talking about the Firefly marathon on the Discovery Science channel. Nor am I speaking of the musical 1776 on the Turner Classics Movie Channel. No, I’m talking about that courtroom drama extravaganza known as Law & Order: The Casey Anthony Trial.

Today’s episode is “Jury Deliberation: Verdict Watch.”

Right now, as I watch this we are touring the inside of the famous empty court room of the Orange County Courthouse. I’m riveted, I tell you!

All day long, you can chow down on KFC’s original recipe, potato salad and buttery biscuits as you watch the clock counting up the amount of time the jury has deliberated so far.

So order that pizza, fire up that barbeque, and put on your stretchy comfy pants.

If you’re feeling extra patriotic, wear your favorite flag pin, salute the crap out of it, and thank God you live in the land of the free (except for suspected child murderers, of course).

Speaking of which, any guesses as to how long this episode of Verdict Watch will last? It’s been 5 hours, 49 minutes and 24 seconds so far. Wow!

Spread the good word:

http://unfinishedperson.com Unfinished Person

This is one day I’m glad we don’t have cable or satellite. A sad, sad day all around, but a very, very funny post.
http://unfinishedperson.com Unfinished Person

This is one day I’m glad we don’t have cable or satellite. A sad, sad day all around, but a very, very funny post.
http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

I’d rather read you writing about the verdict that watch the verdict. And I heard there would be pie.
http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

I’d rather read you writing about the verdict that watch the verdict. And I heard there would be pie.
Jessica

No tv service here either. But please pass the pie! I need a little more cushioning on my derriere.
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Thank you, Bryan. When things like this get ridiculous, I have to say something. Even if I’m “guilty” of it myself (pun intended).
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Isn’t pie a requirement? Like in the Constitution or something?
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Well, I don’t know if I NEED more cushioning on my derriere, but I’ll say it if that’s what brings in the pie, amiright?
http://pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

The publicist has not watched any of this trial. Although she would recommend Yankee Doodle Dandy as the bestest movie EVER.
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Is that the one with what’s his name….oh shoot, what is his name. James Cagney?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7CMPHZK6NAZ2SK62SDZIWCUDYI Somsi

I have bookmarked it. This post is really very interesting and informative. Thanks for sharing with us.
http://artofbeingconflicted.com Cheryl P.

Did someone say you have pie?? I will help you eat the pie and you can just let me know when the verdict is in. This case is so complicated it gives me a headache thinking how the jury will ever sort out all the lies.
http://pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

Yes! He won an Oscar for this role. It went against type. He sings! He dances! He’s wonderful
Winter Prosapio

While you’re waiting, you might want to hear about this case:

http://www.propublica.org/article/the-hardest-cases-when-children-die-justice-can-be-elusive

It’s been bugging me since I heard it on the radio.
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

And there are so many people involved, I’m wondering who gets to sell the movie rights. And you know everybody’s getting a book deal out of this.
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Holy cow - you gave me a book to read. What a tragic story!
http://twitter.com/lafemmeroar lafemmeroar

No apple pie, but plenty to libations, food and booby tube in the background while someone fired it up in the backyard.
http://www.liveblogtoday.com SP

That was one very fast moving jury trying to beat Orlando traffic on a Tuesday… All jury said was “yes way, Jose”. I don’t know much about the apple pies.
Sybil

Living in the great white north I must confess to not knowing who Casey Anthony is.
It may have been mentioned in the smoke signal newscast last night, but a sudden breeze disrupted the story.

What kind of pie ? Raw Seal flipper ?
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Ack! Raw seal flipper pie?

Also? Consider yourself lucky to not have been exposed to the American media circus that was the Casey Anthony Trial. However, do not be surprised when “Casey Anthony: Fast and Furious” comes to a theatre near you.
http://www.doorinface.wordpress.com Nora Blithe

Oh my gosh! I LOVE KFC! It’s so nice that you dedicated a post to KFC and their awesome greasy chicken and the mashed potatoes! Don’t even get me started on those! Girl, I could eat my weight in KFC. Now, you were talking about something else too. What was it? Sorry, you distracted me with chicken.
http://www.roses2rainbows.com Linda R.

I surely don’t need any more cushioning, but I’ll take a slice anyway!
http://www.roses2rainbows.com Linda R.

I surely don’t need any more cushioning, but I’ll take a slice anyway!
http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

I am SO beside myself over this case and the verdict. Blog post to follow.

But, I had a feeling she was going to be found innocent, considering the OJ jury was only out for 4 hours only to come back with a NOT GUILTY verdict.
http://wmljshewbridge.blogspot.com/ Lorie Shewbridge

Great post!! Try living here, it has been all-consuming on the TV on every channel 24/7. It is like nothing else is going on in the world, a bomb could blow up in central park and our local news would have it as a blub running on the bottom of the screen as the “Verdict Watch” continues.
I am SO glad it is over (NOT so happy with the results - but that is a story for another day) and I can watch my daytime talk and craft shows again.
Thanks for putting things in perspective for everyone else.
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

There was one channel in particular that had it going 24/7 (CNN) and they are STILL going on about it. Talk about milking it for all it’s worth.

And gosh, I guess if we were smothered with it, you were downright avalanched!