Ah, the California State Fair.
Where mobs and mobs of people pay outrageous parking fees and then fork over $395 at the admission gate. Actually, that’s just an estimate, projected for inflation from the 1937 figures; who knows what it is this year?
And where even more mobs of people park miles away from the fairgrounds (like at the Arden Fair Mall or the Luck Be a Lady Strip Club or the Nevada State Fair parking lot) and hike in on foot to avoid the hefty parking fees at Cal Expo’s notorious and extremely asphalty Lot C.
The California State Fair is where you can look at a goat, act like a goat, and eat deep-fried Goat-on-a-Stick.
You can ride on the Whoopsy Daisy, see who won the blue ribbon in the Hand-Shaped Paintings that Look Like a Thanksgiving Turkey Competition, and get deep-fried It’s-It-on-a-Stick.
♫♪ Come to State Fair, it’s all right there, California life as it should be ♫♪ ….anybody remember that song?
Used-to-be, the State Fair was the biggest thing in town. Mark Twain coined the terms “water slides”, “bacteria pools”, and “deep-fried Carny-Boogers-on-a-Stick” based on his personal adventures at the California State Fair.
But now, it’s barely a blip on the radar. Well, my radar, anyway.
Take for example, this shot of Exposition Boulevard (where the Main Entrance to the fair is located) this past Sunday. At 2:00pm on opening weekend.
Where the heck is all the traffic? We’re supposed to have our own little Carmageddon right here in River City when the State Fair comes to town and look at it.
Pathetic.
And do you know why it’s pathetic? Well, I’m so glad you asked.
It is simply because Cal Expo has failed to tap Nanny Goats in Panties (The Best Local Blogger - according to the KCRA A-List!) for its promotional efforts. Had they invited yours truly to some swanky, exclusive Stuff-on-a-Stick preview, I would have introduced the world (the WORLD, I say!) to the California State Fair.
I would have gushed over the fair, told everyone I know (that’s you guys) that you had to go, no matter the exorbitant $864 admission. I would have demonstrated examples of the varying levels of disgusting yet delicious deep-fried Whatevers-on-Sticks. I would have shown you the latest in slick-talking demo dudes in aprons hawking this slicer or that dicer.
And I would have shown you prize-winning goats.
But, no.
Instead, I drive forlornly past the entrance wondering if someday they will realize their very egregious mistake, and beg to make up for it.
Maybe next year they won’t forget about me. Because I’m definitely not talking about the California State Fair this year, that’s for sure.
Have you been to the California State Fair? If so, what did you see? And did you eat any deep fried anything?
