Ever notice how the only times this world seems to be going to Hell in a hand basket is when we’re breathing?
So I’ve decided to go halfway and stop exhaling, just to see how it goes.
But that’s not really why I called you here (although I do plan to start an awareness campaign about that breathing thing soon so keep your eyes peeled).
No, I would like to let you know that as part of my world domination plan (in addition to asking you to vote for me as MVB on CBS Local) is call your attention to Page 34 of this month’s issue of Sacramento Magazine.
This article, written by Corinne Litchfield, is accompanied by a photo from one of those Tweetups you have all been hearing about. And if my producer, Morty, will show you the close-up, you’ll no doubt recognize one of your favorite bloggers.
That’s right! That’s me. Underneath the arrow. And they captured my best side. From the back of my head to the back of my toes.
You totally recognize me, right? And so will the rest of the world.
This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is the photo that is going to make me. I’m telling you, after this picture gets around, people are going to be knocking down my doors, little Tootsie Pop-sucking children will stop and stare when they recognize me at the monkey cages.
I’ll be able to quit my daytime stripper job. Also at the monkey cages.
The paparazzi will trail after me, heavily laden with their cameras bouncing off their bodies. They’ll call out my name so they, too, can capture the back of my head. The money shot. They’ll ask for my reaction to the latest hate-post about me from some bitter rival.
Cops will pull me over just so they can let me off without a cow-tipping and/or speeding ticket.
I’ll be the buzz of the bus station. Where I also “make a living”.
I’m going to be somebody, is what I’m saying.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have go sit by the phone.
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(Image Source: Sacramento Magazine. Photo by Diana Miller)
