Death is a very sensitive topic to joke about. I mean, you can’t even walk into a wake any more and yell “Hey, who died?” without somebody bursting into tears and/or getting all up in your grill. So why am I doing it today? Because you all need to take a chill pill and realize that this post is not about you. It’s not always about YOU, you know. In fact, most of the time, it is firmly and most definitely about me. So if you’re feeling even the tiniest bit sensitive about death right now and just aren’t up to some good old-fashioned gallows humor, step away from the blog now and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
A friend recently sent me a link to an old colleague’s obituary on our local paper’s website and something about it kind of rankled me. The last time I spent any time in the obit section, which was a few years ago, people signed a “guest book” if they wanted to offer any condolences.
Now, people can leave comments in the same way they can leave comments on someone’s blog. And because it’s on a newspaper website with lots of web-savvy social-media buzz-flashy hipster tech stuff, everybody’s comment is flashed up on the screen in a rotating slideshow like some Las Vegas Strip billboard and I don’t know… it seems kind of tacky or something.
I mean, I’m all for exploiting someone’s death, but there’s a time and a place, you know? And this time and place almost offended me. I mean, what’s next?
I’ll tell you what’s next.
When your Aunt Hildegard kicks the bucket in some freak accident with an easily excitable ostrich, you can be sure that Clyde’s Funeral Home & Quilting Salon, in an effort to remain relevant in this fast-changing society, will be shamelessly plugging themselves via social media at dear Aunt Hildy’s expense. For example, the next time you’re perusing your Twitter stream, your cousin Melvin’s latest status will reveal that he “checked-in” via Fourquare at Clyde’s Funeral Home & Quilting Salon and here’s a link to a coupon for half-off your next purchase.
Oh, and don’t forget that email you’ll get:
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Dear Friend or Relative of Recent Lost Loved One,
It has come to our attention that you have recently lost a loved one and we here at Clyde’s Funeral Home and Quilting Salon are deeply saddened by your loss. We realize that you have a choice in funeral homes and quilting salons and appreciate your consideration of Clyde’s when faced with such a decision during a trying time.
That’s why you should Like us on our Facebook Fan Page. Whenever you use the word “died” in your Facebook status we will send you a coupon for half-off of a burial quilt to be used within 3 days at Clyde’s. Also, we will keep you up to date on all promotions for the latest urban trends in coffins and urns. When you need someone to handle your dead body with care, trust Clyde’s.
Clyde’s Funeral Home and Quilting Salon…
~ ~ where your dead body is our dead body
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Also, bloggers may contact us at cfhaqs@cfhaqs.net about product reviews and giveaways!
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I’m totally going to follow them. What about you?
Brag, Brag, Brag
Our local CBS station asked me to write a few articles for their “Best Of Sacramento” series. They even let me try to be funny. Here are the links to the articles on the CBS13 website if you care to check them out. If I missed any of your favorites, feel free to leave a comment on their site as to what you’d add to the lists.
Best Musical Instrument Stores in Sacramento
Best Casinos in Sacramento Area
Best iPhone and iPad Apps for Sacramento Living
Best Shopping Malls in the Sacramento Area
Best Boutiques Around Sacramento
Best Sacramento Area Shops for Shoes
Best Golf Courses Around Sacramento
Some "Best Of Sacramento" articles I wrote for CBS
