Hermosa Beach is one of those towns where if you have a friend who lives there and you visit her on a sunny Sunday, and her newly remodeled house is a block from The Strand and you WALK along this Strand to some totally hip, French Bistro for lunch, you go home feeling like you suck in comparison. Your house is a hovel. You are so not cool, not to mention that after strolling past all the volleyball players on the beach, you are now fat and pasty white as well. Oh God, why do you even bother to leave the house any more? What reason do you have to live, really?
So anyway, when I first arrived at my friend’s house, before my low self-worth set in, I took a picture of her cute little dog…
Her name is Wink. Can you guess why?
That’s right. It’s because she only has one eye.
Now, in a country where it’s not OK to tell jokes like “What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?”, is it politically correct to name your poor one-eyed barker ‘Wink’? I’m sorry, what I meant to ask was, is it politically correct to name your optical-quantity-challenged canine ‘Wink’?
I don’t think she knows she’s a one-eyed freak of a dog, but that doesn’t mean if you repeatedly call her that name followed by a fit of giggles, that eventually her own self-esteem won’t be crushed.
Actually, Wink is spoiled rotten and everyone who meets her fawns over her and asks to babysit her and she’s welcome at many restaurants where the servers will wait on her hand and foot. Or paw. Or whatever. AND she lives in a gorgeous house in Hermosa Beach - did you see that hardwood floor? And if she’s taken too far for a walk, she gets carried the rest of the way like a baby. This furball may as well be wearing a tiara with her pink bow.
And if this princess is ever disturbed by the proverbial pea, she can enroll in Doga (yoga for dogs and no, I’m not kidding… I wonder what they call the dog pose… or is that like asking what they call watermelons in Louisiana?) This little furball would just need to be sure to remove her diamond-encrusted tiara before class so as not to accidentally poke her precious little head while wrapping her legs back behind her neck and breathing properly.
Bitch.
Not that I’m jealous or anything. I mean, I may not have a house by the beach, but at least I have two eyes. HA! And I don’t have to bust a gut waiting all day for someone to come home just so I can pee. Double HA!
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NGiP would like to thank Tina over at The Bigger They Get for adding Nanny Goats to her blog roll. I loved Tina’s recent post entitled Newsletter: Month Two Hundred Sixty Four. It’s a birthday card to her son. It’s beautifully written, moving and funny.
lmao….
omg…that made me snort. Not a very lady like laugh, but ya know.
LOL
Wink might like to meet Padiddle Kitty ~ my one-eyed cat ~
a Padiddle is a car with one headlight missing. Blame my brother.
Not for the missing eye, for the name.
She has a perfectly respectable birth name but won’t answer to it.
OK, but it does totally look like she’s winking, so whaddaya gonna do, right? It’s a perfect name.
Is it so wrong that just reading your post gave me an inferiority complex? I don’t even have a friend who lives a block from The Strand on Hermosa Beach with her cute dog… and I have the pasty white skin. So you’re still a step ahead…
Rather than feeling sad about the poor baby, I am going mad laughing. Sowwie. She is so cute. Aww! and the pink bow is making it look more adorable. The tail is seeping the ground. God!I must own a pet, wink or squint. lol
She’s adorable! This one-eyed situation certainly cuts down on her choice of direction for tail-chasing doesn’t it?
I think we might be lucky the dog is Wink and not Glass eye. With Wink, we know EXACTLY which eye to look at while speaking to him. Always a silver lining…
I think you need to photoshop your white goat pic above so that it too wears a bow and winks.
So you had a glimpse of the good life, eh? That’s why I still buy lottery tickets.
I once had a dog with no tail, named “Wags.”
Then I got a fish with one gill, named “Gasp”
My brother had a parakeet with one wing, named “Thud”
I also had a …okay I’m done.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter, because he’s not coming anyway.
As a rule, Rickey isn’t terribly fond of dogs that are small enough to be drop kicked, but that is a cute dog nonetheless.
In my opinion, no self-respecting dog would ever wear a bow. A patch maybe, but not a bow.
I bet you’re not as white as I am - after a week’s worth of self tanning moisturizer a friend told me, “Now you’re up to fish-belly white.”
Mojo:
1) Eileen
2) Mr. Mayor
WHOA!
Even with the bow, that dog looks like it wants to kill someone. Probably me.
Um… what do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? (Or a Louisiana watermelon for that matter?)
And why wasn’t I informed?
Meh… Mop dogs.
thats horrible. i would name a two eyes dog wink, for the laugh.. but a one eyed dog? thats just meeen.
At least the dog isn’t named Popeye …
adorably cute dog. i would love a dog like that, but i would hate the long matted dog fur and the stinky dog smell that goes with it so unless she comes with a live-in groomer i’ll pass.
hm…now who’s the stuck-up snooty one?
She looks like a spoiled bratty dog who brags about her hardwood floors and weekly trips to the spa to all her furry friends. And you must have watched the same vid on Cnn.com as I did about the Doga. I can just see myself trying to do yoga with my insane canine. No freakin way.
Ummmm….I added you to my blogroll. Do I get a special little thank you message!?? Not to bug you or anything…
😉
Wait, are watermelons called something in Louisiana?
I’m thinking a play date is in order with my Lhasa Apso dog Tazz the Spazz (aka killer) because he has eye issues too. One tends to drift while the other one is looking right at you.
I call it his defense mechanism against terrorist of the shadow variety.
I don’t know what’s worse… the loss of an eye, or the pink bow. 😛
that is freaking funny, wink is too cute.
Aaaawww…she’s adorable! I want another one! I was telling M. last night that we need another puppy (PMS induced of course). Pascal needs a bitch. I’m thinking Peek-a-poo puppies would be so cute.
next time you see the dog, remind it how old it really is in dog years and how much shorter its life is going to be than yours will be.
i find that settles the score quite well with the bitches.
I’m a ‘bitch’ and I look good in a tiara, do you think I could be adopted as a lap dog and live on the beach?? Or do i need to put an eye out first?
No one who puts a pink bow on a dog’s head should be granted any claim to superiority.
Okay, now I’m going to make you feel terrible. My niece, who lives in Redondo Beach (!), was also born with just one eye. She’s too old for a playdate with Wink (almost a teenager, for god’s sake) but I wonder what she’d think of him. Probably that he’s spoiled and sorta smelly.
My brother’s dog, when an adorable little puppy, ran headlong into a shrub and a branch impales his eye like a tiny little sword into a cocktail olive.
He’s adorably freakish.
LOL. I once knew a guy with no arms and no legs. He had a swimming pool, and his name was Bob. (Hurray for politically incorrect humor!)
That dog is so cute, I want to go to Hermosa and steal him away…
That wink is cracking me up!! LOL (for real!)!!!!! Poor little Wink. I have to tell my husband about Wink. I can’t stop writing Wink! Thank you!!
Holy crap! I’m the first to comment??? We were at a medieval faire over the weekend and people are allowed to take their dogs. We saw big dogs and small dogs on leashes. And then we saw a pug in a baby carrier on his owners chest. OMG. I was too dumbfounded to snap a picture. His little legs were sticking out front just hanging there. He had to be so embarrassed. All I could think of was how does he go to the bathroom? My aunt said maybe he has a diaper on under there. He could have….
I think Wink is a cute name for a cute pup.