If I dress my blog up in fishnet stockings and a push-up bra and F@*K me pumps and teach it to sashay the streets at night, and instruct it in the art of negotiation when it comes to collecting cash for shameful or humiliating acts, is my blog the whore, or am I? Or rather, […]
food
When Food Gets in the Way
My stepbrother was chowing down with my father today at some barbeque place in Sacramento (Texas Barbeque or some such place) when he heard my father making a weird constricting ‘whee’ noise. Brother G looked up to see my father’s eyes filled with fear. “Are you okay?” asked Brother G. My father shook his head […]
Bullet Proof Vests Now Required in the Kitchen
So there I was at the Farmer’s Market the other day, you know the one in Sacramento in that parking lot downtown, underneath what some of us old-timers call the WX freeway? What’s that thing called now? Anyway, I came across something I don’t recall seeing before, but I can only assume I ignored them […]
Nanny Goats Dips Hoof into Shallow Waters
Hollywood enjoys an abundance of boobs on sticks and if that’s what you are looking for (and who isn’t?), just go to some trendy, Daily-Candy-featured, celebrity-owned restaurant and take a gander at the bar area. I recently met a friend of mine at the hip-and-happening-right-now restaurant called Beso near Hollywood and Vine. Some of you […]
How Moses Disposes of Those Tainted Tomatoeses
We took Dad to Scott’s Seafood for Father’s Day yesterday. Dinner with my family usually means plenty of food. On the floor. See? Looks like SOMEbody didn’t believe the waiter’s claim that the tomatoes were salmonella-free, and didn’t have the GUTS to just leave it on the plate. My contribution is that little bite of […]
