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Horse’s Ass and Rat Bastard: The Beverages of Choice

Roxy in Sacramento is one of those “slow food” restaurants, which I don’t completely understand, but it’s supposed to be good for you. I just know I like their steak salad.

Many animals pervade the menu at Roxy, including the wine list. Why, just the other day, I found myself contemplating the Horse’s Ass Chardonnay.

wine menu, Roxy, Horses Ass, Horses Ass Chardonnay Wine

I’m assuming then, that slow food somehow refers to that philosophy where you don’t waste any part of the animal. You use it all.

wine label, horses ass, horses ass wineImage Source: OcalaWineExperience.com

And then there was that day recently as I was perusing the root beer aisle at BevMo! and ran across these bad boys:

rat bastard, root beer(Rat Bastard Root Beer)

 

So, the front half of a donkey and an illegitimate rodent walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “What’ll ya have” and the donkey torso says, …

Or…

Overheard at the State Fair Wine Exhibit: “The Horse’s Ass paired well with the cow tongue and…”

I’m here all week.

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22 Comments

  1. Cris Cohen says:

    And who thought it would ever be a compliment to say, “Wow. This tastes like a Horse’s Ass.”

    1. Ha! Why didn’t I think of that?

      However, can you imagine all the jokes flying around their tasting room? How many times a day does the wine pourer guy have to say, “Oh yeah. That’s funny. I haven’t heard THAT one before.”

  2. Ginger says:

    Slow food – roughage – high fibre – Salad. Slow food is digested slowlyin the digestive system as opposed to fast foods which are easily digestible with plenty sugar.

    Illegitimate rodent?? you crack me up!

  3. cardiogirl says:

    Hey didn’t Jimmy Cagney make the phrase “Rat bastard” popular in a movie? Now there’s a marketing idea that got away from his estate. He could have been the Paul Newman of soda.

  4. Please tell me the “Horse’s Ass” was at least well priced 🙂
    xo jj

  5. Nicky says:

    You know, if you mix the two drinks together at a party, refuse to serve it to any of the guests and drink it all yourself, you could say “I don’t give a Rat’s Ass”.

    I’m not here all week.

    1. Nice one!

      And “ha!” to your last comment.

  6. I’ve heard of Fat Bastard wine: http://www.fatbastard.com/ and Polygamy Porter beer http://www.fatbastard.com/, but not these two.

    What are the rest of the two jokes? Or hey, that could be a contest for your readers :).

    1. Polygamy Porter? I wonder if they sell that in Utah, being a virtually dry state and all.

        1. No! That’s awesome.

  7. Jayne says:

    Good marketing. If I saw those I’d have to try them. There’s a wine out called “Bitch” too. It has a pink label. I have no idea what slow food is. Is it just the animals that moved the slowest and got caught? Do they cook everything slow? Are you supposed to eat it slow?

    1. I’ve seen the Bitch wine and even blogged about it once. And who the hell knows what slow food is. Actually my friend is in some Slow Food group here in Sacto and she told me once but I can’t repeat it verbatim. I think it has something to do with local food. They hand out Snail of Approval awards to restaurants and Roxy was one of them.

  8. I’ve had Crazy Bitch wine and Horny Bastard Ale. These seem mild to me after those.

    1. OK, you win! 🙂

  9. Those are CRAZY titles for beverages! Very funny, indeed!

  10. Nezzy says:

    I’m crackin’ up here!!! These were hilarious girl.

    Ya’ll have a marvelous week! :o)

  11. Linda R. says:

    I love the label on the Horse’s Ass Chardonnay. Did you try it? It is interesting that on the menu it shows it to be NV (non-vintage), but the label picture shows a vintage date.

    1. Is THAT what NV means? I’m so wine stupid.

    1. I’ve heard of Goats Do Roam, and quite possibly already covered it before and besides, this isn’t Goat Thing Day, you silly! 🙂

      1. Pricilla says:

        It’s ALWAYS goat thing day for me