Are Starbucks' Arms Like Pinocchio's Nose?

In our delusion of self-importance, yet outlandish abuse of power wielded over the masses, we bloggers must hold ourselves to the highest standards of journalism.

If our children say the darndest things, we're there -- and preferably with a video camera. We document the minutiae of our daily lives and deliver it you, on time and under budget. Because YOU DEMAND IT.

We pull out our cameras, much to the chagrin of our spouses, and the curiosity of onlookers to capture a moment in time and bring it to you, the reader. We do it all for you. And also for our ego that is stroked every time you leave a comment.

I braved self-consciousness just the other day when I whipped out my camera at the Starbucks Drive-Thru because it struck me funny to see this plastic box placed conspicuously thus:

I guess it could make some sense to have a tip jar outside. But it seemed like they were reaching. Reaching outside the store for tips. I mean, tips are supposed to be for good service like when a waitress actually comes to your table and waits on you. And doesn't smell funny.

It already feels weird to be tipping Starbucks people. It's like having to pay for parking and tip the valet. Maybe I'm just cheap, but from a consumer point of view, it feels like double-dipping into our pockets.

So when I saw Starbucks sticking its extra-hot no-foam latte arm out the window for a hand-out, I had to take a picture. I forced myself to cope with the guilt and embarrassment when the girl on the other side of the window shouted to her co-workers, "She's taking a picture of our tip jar!". Well, I'm sorry, but I have an obligation to my readers. The public has a right to know about this!

Also? Any number of homeless people seen hanging around the various drive-thrus in the area could have cruised by and yanked the money out, walked into the store and bought a cup of coffee for himself. Which would be ironic. And funny. And awesome.







I would like to thank Mannequin of Fractured Toy and Michelle of So Wonderful, So Marvelous for showing off their new NGIP pens. That was very gracious of you, ladies.

Hey, remember when Mary from Unmitigated gave me this mini banner replica at the BlogHer conference in Chicago?

It was like a fat (or phat) business card. And it is with pride that I display it on my desk today. And now, YOU TOO could get one of these. She's having a giveaway and if you win, she will make one for your blog banner. So if you have a blog, go check it out! The contest ends this Wednesday night at midnight.

Bugs: They're Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

We have a couple of Tarmac strips in our little town called Sacramento International Airport, although the "International" part of it may as well have quotes around it. OK, I guess there is a flight to Guadalajara now and again. Not that I have anything against Guadalajara - I mean, who doesn't want to order a drink whose Spanish name translates to Happy Buttocks? (These drinks are served at Los Famosos Equipales. But that's not why I called you here today.



I walk through this "international" airport a few times a month and the Starbucks had a serious fly problem. I apologize in advance for not taking a picture of the large poster made of flypaper, but I promise you, it was gross. But alas, it's gone.



Recently they installed these lights on the walls...

This coincided with the fact that there were no flies. Where could they be? I reached up with my camera and aimed down into the top of the light... 

For further enjoyment, you can click on the picture to enlarge.



Mmmmmm.  Kinda makes you want a Venti Mocha Flypachino about now, doesn't it?





* * *



...And the answer to the trivia question the other day about where the Nanny Goats In Panties banner picture was taken:  Fremont, California. In Coyote Hills Park, near the San Francisco Bay.

Hi Jim, Nice To Meet You. Uh, What's Your Name Again?

Mr MudPuppy and I hit Starbucks almost every night. I mean, why stand in an epic line of impatient commuters shaky from withdrawal during the morning rush hour when you can save all kinds of time getting that caffeine buzz just before you go to bed?

Since we contribute to the national landfill with those daily cups, I started thinking, why not save those little cup sleeves and bring them in for reuse with our nightly jolt? And because we are so forgetful in our middle-age, we leave them right by the door. Like this...



And here we are a week later...



So now we wear them on our wrists. Like Wonder Woman. Deflecting the bullets shot by hovering tree huggers for not living environmentally friendly. They also hang around waiting to antagonize us after we've sailed past the the green reusable grocery bags that we keep on top of the garbage can, next to the garage door.

You know, so we won't forget them...




* * *

Nanny Goats In Panties is continuing to reach out to its global partners in the blogosphere. Dagny Taggart (her nickname) hails all the way from India and has been generous enough to add us to the blog roll on her site Scratch For The Soul. This picture is from her latest entry, Be Yourself. Say, Dagny (aka Scratch Bags), how far away is the nearest Starbucks from you?


Please click on this Humor-Blogs link to check our current ranking. A click is a vote for Nanny Goats!

Starbucks Spreads Its Legs for Old Times' Sake

Starbucks is going old school for the Coffee Experience: sex, sex, sex. Pictured at right is my coffee cup today. You can click on it to go a bigger version (that is, if you want to see through the eyes of a mermaid gynecologist). This is the original logo (1971-1987), featuring a split-tailed baubo siren, butt-nekkid, except for the crown. Donning a pose most middle-aged women couldn't attempt without pulling something and winding up at the ER, trying to explain to the nurse that she "fell down the stairs".

The last time this logo graced these cups, angry mothers and feminists protested, telling the company execs that their kids were asking why her legs were spread. So what, in this increasingly protesting, easily offended nation, are they thinking?

Here's what I think they're thinking: CEO Howard Schultz, having recently returned from retirement, is shaking things up. Remember the free coffee the other day? $1.00 cups of coffee before that? Starbucks closed for a few hours one day to "retrain" their baristas. There was talk of getting rid of the breakfast sandwiches. This has to be part of that campaign to bring back the Coffee Experience.

And who the hell am I to talk like I know about such things? Well, let me tell you, nosey. Having read and reviewed a book that was the Fast Food Nation of Starbucks, I learned a little something. You'll see the link for Starbucked in my Book Review section in the sidebar. And next time you'll think twice before questioning my authoritahhhh!

Come Early, Come Often

This early edition of my Tuesday morning post has gone to press now in order to notify y'all that Starbucks is throwing free cups of coffee at their customers tomorrow (Tuesday).

So you know you have to hit one on the way to work, hit another at lunch, and swing by yet another after work, and then for a calming after-dinner drink swing by another because you know, it's like those Starbucks are on every corner. If they were snakes they'd bite you!