When I “sat” down with
Saltwater Buddha author, Jaimal Yogis (yes that’s his real name), I half expected the first words out of his mouth to be something like, “It is what is, dude.” Or “What’s the sound of one surfboard clapping?”
Rather, he was very cool. It was I who was the complete interviewing dork. You’d think I’d have this interviewing thing down, what with my endless experience of one prior sit-down
with another author. But no, I guffaw and chortle. I am buffoonery in panties. (Hey, what a great name for a blog! You can have that.)
Take for example my yammering right out of the gate:
NGIP: In your memoir, Saltwater Buddha, you say that your parents, in their “full-fledged hippie phase”, named you after an Indian saint: Baba Jaimal Singh.
JY: Yes.
NGIP: So can I call you Babs?
JY: ...
NGIP: I’m going to take that as a YES. So listen, Babs. How …[blah blah blah, etc., and Ad infinitum…]
And my God, the constant interrupting! And by interrupting, I mean yank the reins of a perfectly smooth flowing conversation out of his hands and jerk that horse-drawn wagon hard to the left.
Like when I asked him about his recently published memoir, he was lucky to get in the fact that “It’s
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance goes surfing”, or “It’s a coming-of-age memoir through the window of surfing”, or “It’s a love affair with the ocean” and then I’m breaking in about his appearance on ABC and Capital Public Radio the day before. He was not allowed to finish a thought. Seriously, I have this all recorded. I should be ashameed of myself.
And my subject wasn’t helping, let me tell you. Since Yogis (that really is his name) has a master’s degree in Journalism from Columbia University, he’d turn the conversation around to me. Or maybe I did that since I’m so dang egotistical -
Hey, let’s make this interview about me!
I’d ask him about the documentary that local PBS filmmakers want to make based on his book (who are currently raising money to fund the film so if you or an interested friend have any extra investing dollars lying around, contact his publicist at lisa [at] catalystpublicity [dot] com), but then we veer off onto the topic of this video game for which I wrote content that is coming out soon called Coconut Queen by
iWin.com, and see? I can't help myself. I’m hopeless.
Anyway, that’s when he mentioned hearing what some kids were doing in the gaming industry where “young Chinese kids mine their own gold” in video games. They don’t actually play the game but, “they sell their own gold on Paypal.” So anybody bitching about the unemployment rate just got a good lead on a new job, right here on NGIP. You’re welcome.
We drank iced coffees at
Belle Bru Cafe, in the same Sacramento suburban neighborhood where he attended high school (Rio Americano if anybody wants to holla). That is, until he pilfered $900 from his mother’s credit card account and ran away to Hawaii, but then realized he probably shouldn’t be skipping out on his probation officer so soon after a DUI charge, so he returned and finished high school in Yuba City (Yuba City High if anybody wants to holla?....hello? anyone?) but he talks about all that in his book, so I won't spoil it for you.
Another thing that he talks about in his book that I don't want to spoil for you is his brief stint in France. In fact, I'll let Mr. Yogis spoil it:
JY: I found a cheap exchange program, where I had to pay the woman five francs if I had my hands in my pockets. Like that episode of The Simpsons where Bart has to stomp grapes for the Frenchman. They wanted me there for slave labor and they wanted me to teach their son English and that was it.
Now where was I? We were talking about me, right? Oh, yes, me and my inappropriate questions, such as:
NGIP: What the hell kind of a name is Yogis? Are you kidding me?
JY: It’s Lithuanian. When my great grandfather emigrated here, he was a Cossack in the Russian Army and he hated the Russians, so he stole a horse and ran away from the army and got onto a boat and ended up in Brooklyn.
And this gem
:
NGIP: I see you have thirty-six 5-star reviews on Amazon.com for your book? Are any of them not your friends?
As it turns out, most of them, as he patiently explained to me, are in fact, not his friends. Well, touché, then.
Jaimal Yogis: 2,
NGIP: 0
I asked him if his book had gotten any negative reviews (because, as you can obviously conclude by now, I’m all about suggesting someone’s failure).
JY: I have not gotten one negative review, which has been amazing. I’ve gotten a bunch that have said, “I thought this book was going to suck.”
So there you have it. His book does not suck. To be honest,
Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance kind of bored me, but I found
Saltwater Buddha to be engaging, funny, and poignant. It has intrigue and adventure. And “surf nazis”. I laughed. I cried. It didn’t suck.
As a matter of fact, his book just went into its 2nd printing, and that, ladies and goats, is no small feat in this industry, where the average book sells a mere 500 copies.
I asked him where he lived.
JY: I was in San Francisco.
NGIP: And now?
JY: I’ve been in the Bay Area since I got out of high school.
NGIP: In other words, you’re homeless.
JY: I was living in Ocean Beach.
NGIP: So, you’re a homeless person.
JY: Yeah.
NGIP: Homeless people read, right? What are you reading right now?
JY: The Twilight Books, I’m reading New Moon. I totally love it. It’s just like pure entertainment. Vampires have been symbols for us for hundreds of years, really dark, it’s cool how all of a sudden this typically dark story…it’s kind of like Monsters Inc., where your nightmares are turned into this happy place.
NGIP: Is it true that it’s against Buddhist rules to have sex with skulls?
JY: It’s in the Vinaya. It’s a very long list of rules. The Vinaya came out of the monks and nuns getting into mischief.
[Editor’s note: Nuns too? Sorry, ladies. Apparently this rule applies to you as well.]
And then with two minutes left on the clock, I asked a halfway decent question.
NGIP: All the running around you did, do you think you came full circle, finding yourself with Zen and meditating, which is what your parents were trying to teach you but you just weren’t ready to learn yet?
JY: Accepting the fact that I was a hippie just like my parents? That was what this book was about, understanding my own narrative, my own story. And accepting where I come from, whether you come from a family of investment bankers, or gypsies. That is part of you and there’s no way to escape that. I just want to be myself and honor where I come from. I spent years being afraid of who I am or falling into a fear of who I am. And people don’t really care. They’re more likely to accept you when you’re comfortable with yourself than when you’re trying to be something you’re not. That was a realization in the book.
NGIP: Do you like goats, or do their eyes freak you out?
JY: I love baby goats. Some goats are kind of demonic. Like Dragnet, where they have a big goat. At the end there’s this evil villain who wears a goat head. I love goat milk and goat cheese and they’re so cute. I love their little goatees. And I love the name of your blog too.
[Editor’s Note: Aw, shucks. *blushes*]
Then I got all Zen on his ass:
NGIP: If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half how long would it take a caterpillar to sift all the dill seeds out of a pickle?
JY: Wow. I’m gonna take some time to meditate on that koan. That sounds like one that could break my linear thinking in a good way.
Yogis is currently signing books all over the place when he’s not going to schools and talking to kids or getting involved with
826 Valencia, that youth program started by Dave Eggers, that you may have heard of.
Jaimal Yogis'
website
Upcoming
Book Signings (The next few appearances include Denver, Santa Cruz, and La Jolla).
Upcoming Lawsuits regarding defamation of character:
www.howtosueNGIP.com
So there's this stupid slot machine game on Facebook that my friends have suckered me into playing so they can get their daily tokens whose sole redeeming event is when I get 3 of these:
Click here each visit to keep NGIP in the Top 25
