So this man-eating squirrel attacked me while I was rooting around in his nut stash (whatever THAT means) the other day. He came at me squealing like a banshee and by merely trying to defend myself, I accidentally smashed him over the head with my Pillowcase O’ Pennies. As hard as I could. Then I [...]
health
An Open Letter to My Fat Cells
Dear Fat Cells, I have a bone to pick with you. You are a million tiny dark clouds that, en masse, have been growing inside of me, haunting me. Terrorizing me, really. You are like pigeons who hang around garbage dumpsters, waiting for half-eaten burritos. You are scavengers who lie in wait scooping up pancake [...]
