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Mobile Banking, And Other Reasons for Living

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge
Day 4: When Hell Freezes Over

When it comes to experiencing true joy in life, some people have their child’s first steps, while for others, it’s the thrill of skydiving. Me? I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am about… mobile banking.

If you knew how much I hate “running errands”, driving to the bank, standing in line (OMG – standing in line! I hate that! Who stands in line at the bank anymore?), and nobody has a 30 second transaction at the bank, you’re standing there for what seems like hours staring at yourself standing in line on the security monitor, yelling through bullet-proof glass to the teller so that everybody can know your damn business.

But yesterday….yesterday my friends, I discovered what can only be referred to as pure consumeric bliss. Behold…

safe mobile banking

When I discovered this, I ran over to my bank, wrapped my arms around it and gave it a big wet sloppy kiss, right on the front doors. With tongue.

Now when I get that monthly residual $2.38 check from my recurring role on Wonder Years, all I have to do is slap that bad boy onto a dark background, take a picture and viola! No more getting mugged at 4:00am by a guy in a pastrami sandwich costume at the ATM. No more getting into paper cut fights with blue-haired old ladies over who gets Fernando the sexy teller to make our deposits.

The question now is, when are they going to approve the business loan for my Flying Pigs Third Party Pizza Delivery Service?



The 30 Minus 2 Day Writing Challenge is hosted by We Work for Cheese.

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  1. P.J. says:

    Love the sound of that pizza delivery service. I’ll take a large pie, with pepperoni!

  2. But then I would have to trade in my Nokia flip phone, circa 2005.

  3. “I ran over to my bank, wrapped my arms around it and gave it a big wet sloppy kiss, right on the front doors. With tongue.” — AHhAHhHAhHAhah!

    Mobile banking, rules! The end!

  4. KZ says:

    Whoa, I think I’m out of the loop on this one. You were on The Wonder Years? Is this Fred Savage writing under a pseudonym? $2.38 in monthly residuals sounds legit.

  5. blueyes says:

    Check? I don’t even think I could write a check at this point. What is the site of this Safe. So far I’ve found the move Safe, the definition of safe – which could use some updating, a safe as in vault which I don’t need. I only wish my credit unions would get an app although since I don’t deposit real checks not sure what I would do with it. I go to the bank once a month to get cash to pay my rent since the owner lives in the other half of the duplex because I haven’t had checks in a couple years.

    1. Margaret says:

      I hardly ever write checks myself. Mine still have my old address from 7 years ago.

  6. I’ll do just about anything to avoid actually going to the bank. (I’ve been known to keep Christmas checks from relatives uncashed for years.) I can’t wait to try this out! If it works, I’ll order a pizza from you.

    1. Margaret says:

      Sweet! And I will deliver that pizza to you as soon as I can find some flying pigs.

  7. nonamedufus says:

    “,,,gave it a big wet sloppy kiss, right on the front doors…” Um can you actually say that on the internet?

    1. Margaret says:

      dufus, I just did. πŸ™‚

  8. Laughingmom says:

    A bank? I’ve heard of places like that. It’s where people put that stuff called money, right?

    1. Margaret says:

      yes. anyone with a farthing may enter.

  9. Nicky says:

    Margaret, you tramp. Kissing the bank right on the front doors. With tongue, no less. And just what, pray tell, does Mr. Margaret think of all this, hmmm?

    Okay, seriously, I am curious. What do you do with the actual physical cheque? Do you have to mail or bring it in eventually?

    1. Margaret says:

      Nope. You just throw it away. How weird is that, just chucking a check in the trash?

  10. Cheryl P. says:

    I haven’t tried this yet. I understand the deposit part…I really do but you still have to get out and find an ATM for cash…right??? No one has invented a way to bring cash via our electronics have they? If so, I am prepared to give that a sloppy kiss. …maybe more.

    1. Margaret says:

      If you’re bank is a hormone-infested teenage boy, then you might spring ahead of the rest of us, technology-wise.

    1. Margaret says:

      Ah. Yes. A check. You, Pricilla would call it a snack.

  11. It doesn’t take much to amuse you. I like that.

    Congrats on mobile banking. You might want to wash your mouth out with soap after than kiss.

    Flying Pigs Third Party Pizza Delivery Service? FPTPPDS Ah, that’s your password. Got it. πŸ˜‰

    1. Margaret says:

      Yes, the love of mobile banking can be a germy business.

  12. Linda says:

    I’m a big fan of on-line banking for paying bills, but I still take checks to the bank.

    1. Margaret says:



  13. Katherine says:

    OMG I JUST DEPOSITED MY FIRST CHECK VIA MOBILE LAST WEEK!!! It makes things SO EASY!!!!!! It is magic!!!!!

    1. Margaret says:

      Ha! OK, you win for being more excited about this than I am, as indicated by the number of exclamation points that may very well exceed the number of words. πŸ™‚