I will go clothes shopping maybe once a year because I hate it. It’s a pain in the ass, shopping is. Trying on clothes is a waste of time to me. It is not fun. 99% of what I try on doesn’t fit because, apparently, I am shaped funny.
Or, more accurately, I am shaped.
I hate driving to the store in traffic, looking for parking. I don’t like spending money. There is nothing “FUN” about it. I do not enjoy the “process” or the “journey” of shopping. I do not “live in the moment” of it. I see it as an irritating errand that gets in the way of the rest of my life.
And I sure as hell don’t like accompanying someone else while “they go shopping”. Yuck. Totally unproductive and I hate standing around waiting. God, I’d make a sucky boyfriend.
Anyway, since I’m in Sacramento, I meet my Bay Area friend at our usual midway location: beautiful downtown Vacaville, at an extremely local diner with mismatched garage sale coffee mugs, customers yelling across the restaurant at one another and the staff, and truck-stop flavored coffee. My kinda place.
It’s near Ulatis Creek which, am I crazy, or does Ulatis Creek sound like someone peeing in the river to you, too? What a horrible name and I’m sorry if it’s actually named after a real person whose last name is Ulatis, in which case, I LOVE that name, we should name everything after Ulatis, it really flows off the tongue – hey! flows! We should name the creek after you!
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. Hating shopping.
Since Vacaville has a big ass outlet mall, we head over to a couple of shoe stores because I want to get some sandals. And since I refuse to wear painfully uncomfortable shoes for the sake of fashion, I instead go to the “comfortable shoes for old ladies” store and resent how ugly everything is.
I have never understood how just because you make a comfortable shoe, which is essentially all about the inside sole of the shoe, the part that people DON’T see, why must you then make the outside so hideous as if the shoe’s occupier has given up in life and desires to be ugly? This makes zero sense to me. The same thing goes for hybrid or electric cars. Why did they have to be so ugly for so long? (And except for the Tesla, they still kind of are.)
My point is, and this is how it compares to shoes, the SHELL of the car and the ENGINE of the car are completely independent of each other. Why can’t you be boring on the inside, but exciting on the outside?
I’m convinced hybrid and electric cars are taking forever to become popular because they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Don’t tell me it’s because they’re more expensive because that is crap, and Mercedes has already proven that people will overpay for a car if they simply have to have it. Maybe it’s a conspiracy perpetrated by Big Oil to keep us churning through far more sexy gas hogs. Mmmmmm, sexy gas hogs.
Seems to me, there are some assumptions being made about the potential customer of said sensible products. If you want to save money, be comfortable, save the environment, whatever, you must be boring as hell, go to bed early, love burlap, and listen to Gregorian chants 24/7.
Nevertheless, while these weren’t exactly Jimmy Choos, they would do in a pinch for a closet void of sandals…
Blue leather straps with multicolor flowers, kind of cute.
And then I took them for a test drive one day and came back with this…
Did I mention that Vacaville is 45 traffic-filled miles away and that I tend to throw away boxes and receipts immediately?