image: earthlink
I was going to tell you about Harold, my new pet tse tse fly, and how I came to be mayor of a small town in West Dakota, but then I got this very important email:
I know! I’m totally going to be a spy, y’all!
Oh, I hear your silly cries of warning, that this might be a scam, but I did my research and it’s totally legit. I Googled “ventgloballogistics.net” and everything.
You see, according to one of those WHOIS pages, their domain is registered in the Netherlands and Luxembourg, sooo European. And it’s barely a month old, so it’s a brand new entity, which of course means, I’m on the cutting edge of becoming a big famous international spy. Talk about your ground opportunities!
And then if you scroll down some more you can see the registrant’s name…
I’m not sure where Lekki, Lagos, is, but it’s just one more stop on my very important international spying tour – woo hoo!
And so what if Anna Soto’s email address is from Viet Nam? I’m sure that’s just an outsourcing thing. And her domain, zin.vn? Undoubtedly having to do with Zinfandel Wine in Viet Nam. How exotic is that!
Also? When I lookup their IP Address on the real WHOIS website, it comes up with some dude named Andrey in Russia, so this is a real big international conglomeration they’ve got going on.
So, I’m probably going to be a spy for a Vietnamese Winery in Luxembourg. Or the Netherlands. Or Russia. Or Lekki, Lagos. I’ll keep you posted here on what is undoubtedly going to be a Top Secret assignment overseas for awhile. And since it’s Top Secret, you might not want to tell anyone until I”m back here safe in the United States.
So do you want me to pick you up anything while I’m there, wherever it is?
All these silly Nigerians making the rest of us look bad. Get a job, Anne!
Seriously!
I like the look of this, but I sense some reservation in your tone. It does make one think, certainly… But wait, does this mean that the hot local women ready to have sex with me RIGHT NOW might also be a scam? Dammit. Roth
Anna wanted to gift my church with her generous life insurance policy! (Don’t know which church she means, as I haven’t even been in one for Christmas or Easter for a while – a long while) It wasn’t about the cure or treatment for cancer, it was about being a recipient of her life insurance policy!
But I think she needed some funds first – maybe to get it to North America, or something… my eyes glazed over before my finger deleted… she told me all that in her first paragraph. No doubt she got tired of waiting for my reply… I’m glad to see she hasn’t died yet!!!!!!
OMG. This is too friggen funny!
Plus, you may have already won $14 million dollars! I have friends high up in the Nigerian government, and if anyone could verify these things, it’s them. Let me know if you need me to make a call — erm … email for you.
OH, while you’re out, will you check on my Nigerian bank account? I’m supposed to have a couple million dollars in there and Mama needs some new SHOES!
I missed the “international spy”part in her request. I think she wants you to help her find a cure for cancer. The reason she contacted you is obviously you have this tremendous connection to goats. You know goats from coast to coast. The word, out of the Far East, is: take a mixture of Fainting goat milk and urine from the same goat (she has to be a pregnant goat and she has to faint while being milked) and make a paste with the liquids using crushed elbow macaroni and Aunt Jemima’s Quick Grits. This mixture is being touted as a cure for certain forms of cancer. She doesn’t need your money. She needs to get your goat(s). You are the Nanny Goat connection and you could still be in danger. Be careful. Don’t let her get your goat.
If you need help, I can be your Aunt Jemima Quick Grits connection.
How can it be a scam? She wants you to stay blessed and all. I am sure it is all on the level after all if it is on the internet, it has to be true. I saw that on TV. See you mañana.
I think it is in Haiti…good luck! Pick me up some lace please.
Hugs
SueAnn
Lace it is, Sue Ann!!
Uhhh! I am so excited for your new pal and adventure. I can’t wait to see what comes next and where it takes you and your new pal. :-)))
Thanks Susan! Yes, Anna Soto and I are becoming very fast friends. I think. I mean, based on one email anyway.
Giant…nerd…woody… 😛
I see you partake in my favorite “I’m bored and have seen the entire freaking Internet” pastime. Yes, turn that junk mail into a game, I say! And, hey, it couldn’t hurt to have it on your international spy resume… 😉
Ha! It’s also a small way to get back at them. Sort of. Although not really probably.
Can you get me some of those nesting dolls? Or are they just russian?
Wherever I end up, I will check the nearest open-air market for nesting dolls. 🙂
Oooh, if you need a side kick I would like to come along. I am tired of life on the farm and I would like an adventure. Just let me know and I can go all James BondGoat for you.
And I would bet they’d want more people to come along too! I hope you have a current passport!