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Who is Clinton Kelly, Anyway?

seth macfarlane, oscarsI’m probably not the first one to opine that Peter Brady (or any one of the The Osmond Brothers) did a great job hosting the Oscars this weekend.

Ah, the Oscars. Fashion overload at its finest. Timely, too, because it’s Fashion Week here in Sacramento, the wardrobe capitol of…of… the greater Sacramento area.

As some of you already know, I went virtually makeup-less my entire life until recently, taking a loan out on my house to purchase face paint for a three-minute television appearance. So now that I’m an expert on the matter, I was invited to attend a big Clinton Kelly fashion event at Macy’s on Saturday.

I realize that I’m the last person to know who Clinton Kelly is, since he’s been a host on What Not to Wear for the last fifty years.

However, if I had to choose one word to describe this event, it would be: accessible. Because if a middle-aged, frumpified, doesn’t-even-know-which-channel-What-Not-To-Wear-is-on woman like myself can appreciate a Clinton Kelly visit, then anyone can.

Over 400 people, mostly giddy females, were seated (and standed!) in a makeshift fashion venue on the first floor of the Roseville Galleria Macy’s.

clinton kelly audience

clinton kelly, macysKelly was instantly charming, generous, informative, and hilarious from the moment he came out on stage. Volunteers came up to be analyzed for their fashion sense and Kelly managed to educate and entertain the audience, while commenting, complimenting, and mocking the brave volunteers. And somehow, when he mocked, he mocked with love.

And since I’m a smart-ass, and Kelly is genuinely quick-witted and funny, I managed to maintain my brand and messaging framework while quoting him on Twitter, or…twoting, if you will:

clinton kelly twitter clogs


clinton kelly twitter boobs


clinton kelly twitter bathe

At one point he briefly lost his voice but not so much that he didn’t squeak this out:

clinton kelly twitter peter brady

For those of you keeping track, that’s TWO Peter Brady references in one blog post, and I think I AM the first one to do that.

Also? Kelly’s tips were practical. And doable. None of that vague pompous tripe you hear from lofty wannabe fashionistas while gaunt stick figures in desperate need of sustenance slouch and glide their way down the runway.

I actually understood what was going on and I don’t know a THING about clothes. One look at my clogs-and-socks-stuffed closet will tell you that. So I left with an order of magnitude greater knowledge and advice about fashion than I showed up with.

For example:

  • It doesn’t matter what size you are, anyone can wear a pencil skirt. (You too, ladies).
  • How do you camouflage a tummy? Jackets, jackets, jackets.
  • Don’t hold off on buying clothes until you lose the weight. Buy clothes that fit your body now.
  • If your skin is one of your better features, then it’s okay to wear ivory. Otherwise, you will be engaging in a competition with ivory that you can’t win.
  • The purpose of jeans is to make your butt look fabulous.

And kudos to the Macy’s event’s casting folks who gave us a gamut of models on the runway who were all shapes and sizes. You don’t see that everyday and I, for one, appreciated it.

clinton kelly, macys, sacramento

So, Clinton Kelly, I salute you.

When you’re not busy saluting yourself, that is.

clinton kelly salute


Disclosure: I was compensated for this post, but all opinions are my own.

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  1. Paul says:

    Good to know I’m not the only one who thought Seth MacFarlane and Christopher Knight looked alike.

    (Lots of others have probably noticed the resemblence too, but because I dilignetly avoid Seth MacFarlane and all his works this is the first I’ve heard anyone mention it.)

    1. Margaret says:

      Now you’ve got my curiosity as to why you avoid Seth MacFarlane and all his works. πŸ™‚

  2. Shannon Cole says:

    What a great opportunity! My family has been watching that show for years. And unfortunately being a pet sitter, I’m the person my family wants to put on the show! I’m always in jeans gym shoes, t-shirts & sweatshirts. LOL But I’ve yet to be surprised with a shopping spree! My sister did to to Nick Arrjo’s (Sp?) Studio in NY though & get his autograph for me! πŸ™‚

  3. Emmber says:

    So nice to hear when people from a show I enjoy are witty, fun, nice in real life also and it’s not just due to tv magic. Fun post to read and the cute goats pics all over make me smile. Thanks

  4. What are clogs? They sound sort of ugly just from the enunciation of that word. Sort of like clogs of dirt, or is that clops? In any case, I will never be guilty of wearing clogs with socks.

  5. So I can wear my clogs… just not with socks? (Dufus was just chastising me for wearing Birkenstocks with socks.) So glad to see real women on the runway!

  6. anjiknut says:

    it sounds like great fun. Unfortunately, up until recently, I had a wardrobe full of clothes ‘for when I’m thin again’. Even in France nowadays they have beautiful, fashionable clothes for real women.

  7. “I went virtually makeup-less my entire life until recently, taking a loan out on my house to purchase face paint for a three-minute television appearance” – that is REALLY making me laugh, Margaret. Because its funny AND true.

    I had no idea who Clinton Kelly was either. Seriously. Probably because I spend my life in pajamas as hospital gowns, BOTH of which are What Not To Wear.

    “For those of you keeping track, that’s TWO Peter Brady references in one blog post, and I think I AM the first one to do that.” Indeed. And that’s why YOU RULE.

  8. Ben Swilley says:

    That was pretty interesting for an old guy who actually visited your blog to see if you had graced any of your goats with panties shaped like Valentines. One can only dream when you reach 70. I enjoyed your blog post. The last time I went to a makeup counter in a big department store with my wife the sales ladies but a frizzy blonde wig on me and colored my cheeks. I got propositioned by three of the ugliest old men in the world before I could ditch the wig and wash my face.

  9. Margaret says:

    Your agency provided the models? What a small blog world this is! You being a Sacramento Blogger and all. I hope you come to the next SacBlogger event on April 1 at Lowbrau so we can dish about Clinton Kelly! πŸ™‚

  10. My agency, Cast Images, provided the models for this event. We were thrilled that Macy’s went with such a lovely group of models, who truly do represent a wide range of body types. I took my ten year old daughter with me to watch, and felt like it was a wonderful event for her too…very positive and even soulful. Being in the fashion industry, I struggle with the emphasis on perfection and a narrow standard of beauty it. Clinton Kelly (and his show, “What Not to Wear,”) is a woman-friendly voice with real world fashion advice.

    Loved your funny take on this and so glad you enjoyed it! (I blogged about the event too at

  11. Cheryl P. says:

    You weren’t the last person on the planet to know who Clinton Kelly is…and I haven’t a clue on which network one would find “What Not To Wear”. The fashion show does sound like it was fun. The Tweets are really funny, esp. the socks with clogs comment. Hysterical!

    1. Margaret says:

      So I’m not alone after all? Oh wait, maybe we were the last two, but now we know, and now there’s no on left not to know. Or something like that.

  12. Star Traci says:

    I love the show “What Not to Wear” and I am happy to hear that Kelly is actually nice and funny in person. Lucky girl!

    1. Margaret says:

      I knew I was the only one who was clueless about the show! And as soon as I watch an episode, the world will all come back into balance. πŸ™‚

  13. Terra says:

    That sounds like a fun and funny event and you even learned some fashion tips. How cool is that?

    1. Margaret says:

      I know! He was really very charming and I did learn a few things. I just hope they stick. πŸ™‚

  14. Been watching the show for years and love Clinton and Stacey, his sidekick. How fun for you to be there!

    1. Margaret says:

      Well, of course, now I’ll have to watch the show to see what it’s all about!

  15. Wow. Did he suggest that a Nanny Goat should wear MORE than panties? Did you ask? Did you?

    1. Margaret says:

      Dang! A missed opportunity!

  16. Nichole says:

    He was so ridiculously adorable and funny and genuine.
    I loved the message he left the crowd with… love your body, no matter the shape or size.
    Good stuff.

    1. Margaret says:

      Agreed. So dang charming, that man.