Ah, the Oscars. Fashion overload at its finest. Timely, too, because it’s Fashion Week here in Sacramento, the wardrobe capitol of…of… the greater Sacramento area.
As some of you already know, I went virtually makeup-less my entire life until recently, taking a loan out on my house to purchase face paint for a three-minute television appearance. So now that I’m an expert on the matter, I was invited to attend a big Clinton Kelly fashion event at Macy’s on Saturday.
I realize that I’m the last person to know who Clinton Kelly is, since he’s been a host on What Not to Wear for the last fifty years.
However, if I had to choose one word to describe this event, it would be: accessible. Because if a middle-aged, frumpified, doesn’t-even-know-which-channel-What-Not-To-Wear-is-on woman like myself can appreciate a Clinton Kelly visit, then anyone can.
Over 400 people, mostly giddy females, were seated (and standed!) in a makeshift fashion venue on the first floor of the Roseville Galleria Macy’s.
Kelly was instantly charming, generous, informative, and hilarious from the moment he came out on stage. Volunteers came up to be analyzed for their fashion sense and Kelly managed to educate and entertain the audience, while commenting, complimenting, and mocking the brave volunteers. And somehow, when he mocked, he mocked with love.
And since I’m a smart-ass, and Kelly is genuinely quick-witted and funny, I managed to maintain my brand and messaging framework while quoting him on Twitter, or…twoting, if you will:
At one point he briefly lost his voice but not so much that he didn’t squeak this out:
For those of you keeping track, that’s TWO Peter Brady references in one blog post, and I think I AM the first one to do that.
Also? Kelly’s tips were practical. And doable. None of that vague pompous tripe you hear from lofty wannabe fashionistas while gaunt stick figures in desperate need of sustenance slouch and glide their way down the runway.
I actually understood what was going on and I don’t know a THING about clothes. One look at my clogs-and-socks-stuffed closet will tell you that. So I left with an order of magnitude greater knowledge and advice about fashion than I showed up with.
- It doesn’t matter what size you are, anyone can wear a pencil skirt. (You too, ladies).
- How do you camouflage a tummy? Jackets, jackets, jackets.
- Don’t hold off on buying clothes until you lose the weight. Buy clothes that fit your body now.
- If your skin is one of your better features, then it’s okay to wear ivory. Otherwise, you will be engaging in a competition with ivory that you can’t win.
- The purpose of jeans is to make your butt look fabulous.
And kudos to the Macy’s event’s casting folks who gave us a gamut of models on the runway who were all shapes and sizes. You don’t see that everyday and I, for one, appreciated it.
So, Clinton Kelly, I salute you.
When you’re not busy saluting yourself, that is.
Disclosure: I was compensated for this post, but all opinions are my own.