The fabulous thing about having a laptop is that I’m peeing right now but you can’t tell because I pushed the MUTE button.
But seriously, the real reason I called you all here today is to say that there are two types of people: those that hug well and those that don’t.
A real hugger wraps their arms around you and makes it feel like they are really glad to see you. It feels warm and good like hot cocoa and wool socks in front of a stone fireplace with a fat glittery Christmas tree in the corner.
Then there are those that make a half circle with one arm around you and if you’re lucky, their hand will barely touch your back. Like you have cooties and if they had their druthers, they’d rather not have to participate in such a barbaric nasty germ-spreading ritual. They are probably the same people who would give you one of those limp fish handshakes as well.
Me? I’m a hugger. A real huggity hug hugging hugmeister. They call me Huggy McHuggenheimer. I like when people hug the crap out of me. That’s a figure of speech by the way, I don’t mean I hope that there’s a pile of poo afterwards. And I don’t want the wind squeezed out of me. Or broken ribs. I just like a good firm and friendly hug with pressure applied. A REAL hug. Not one of those mamby pamby I-have-touching-issues-so-you-get-a half-assed fake hugs.
Why is that? Are they afraid it’s too intimate? Like when it’s a co-ed hug, for example. A straight man vs. a straight woman. Is the guy afraid of feeling boobs against them? Like it’s not allowed? Is hugging too sexual for them?
Or is hugging seen as lower-class? Or blue-collar lumberjacky. It’s not sophisticated. You don’t see rich people or members of royalty bear-hugging each other. They lean toward one another and maybe purse their lips to the side while air kissing and lightly resting their fingers of one hand on a shoulder maybe.
I don’t get it. Can someone please explain this to me? Because for me, hugging is an innocent thing we are taught to do with everyone we like when we’re children.
Now, I realize there are exceptions. Like people with back problems or fibromyalgia who can’t hug beyond the limp fish level because it’s painful. Hugs should not be painful. So they get a pass.
Also? There are people I don’t want to hug. But these are the same people I don’t want to touch for any number of reasons. Primarily because they DO have cooties or a banana in their pocket or something like that.
But what’s everyone else’s excuse?
So tell me, are you a hugger? I mean like a real hug-o-rama huggity hugger? Or a limp fish? And do men have different views on this than women? What’s your hugging etiquette?
P.S. Today I am guest posting on mystery author Cindy Sample’s blog. Her latest book is called Dying for a Dance. I give a few blogging tips on her blog today and if you go over there and comment according to her instructions, you’ll be entered into a drawing for an Amazon Gift card. Wow! What are you waiting for? Check out her blog post today entitled: “Improving Your Blog: Helpful Tips and Reminders from an Award-Winning Blogger.