I got up at O-dark-thirty yesterday to be a part of a blogger panel session at News10, setting 3 different alarm clocks because I am that afraid of not being able to wake up any more before 10am.
And then I drink too much coffee because I think I’m too tired to be up at such an hour and I get all spazzy.
So we four panelists sat behind a table and blabbed about blogging. Well, they sat. I vibrated.
I spoke about how to write an engaging blog and when I got to the part about how you should take pictures of everything and take your camera with you everywhere you go, I held up my camera to show them what I meant by everywhere I go, and then I said, “Say Cheese” and took a picture of them.
I don’t know if you can tell with this picture (you can click on it to see a larger view), but they must have actually been saying “cheese”. Man, I hope they didn’t sit there like that the whole time. That’s an awfully eager-looking audience. It would be kind of creepy after about 3 minutes.
I sat next to Dan Elliott, News10’s mid-day newscaster, who blogs on their site as well as their Elk Grove neighborhood section. Dan is gregarious, personable, and an all around nice guy. Totally knows how to work a room. He’s also not one of those guys who looks 10 years younger than he is.
He looks about 20 years younger than he is.
He claims it’s good genes and HD make-up. I think there’s something fishy going on that has to do with alien technology.
Kimberly Morales of Poor Girl Eats Well was also there to discuss the financial aspects of blogging. Of course once she makes her first million, she might have to change the name of her blog.
Rounding out the panel was Michelle Ponto, also of News10 and who has her own blog called Going Solo, to discuss social media and branding.
Did I mention they had coffee? And muffins from Whole Foods?
And that they let me bring in my book to promote?
And that people came up to me afterwards to actually buy the book?
Here’s a picture of Sarah Cook (of Raising CEO Kids) and me. I met Sarah at that Homeschool Conference a couple of weeks ago and then she appeared at the blogger panel today. Sarah is so nice… I wonder if she’s a serial killer.
The room was noisy with post-panel chatter and suddenly I had to pee. I ran down the hall, but when I returned, everyone was gone. And I mean everyone. I’m talking the whole building. I couldn’t find a soul.
I went to the set. Nothing.
I ran back to the control room. Nobody.
It was just like the first episode of The Walking Dead when the cop wakes up in the hospital and everyone has disappeared, only I didn’t see any zombies or dead bodies strewn everywhere.
And then the clock struck noon. Which was weird because five minutes ago, it had only been 9am. If it was noon already then that meant… oh my gosh they had a show to do! I had to act fast. They couldn’t go on with a bunch of dead air. I had to save the show. I ran down the hall to the set.
I flipped on all the cameras and jumped behind the desk and delivered the news single-handedly.
This is me pretending to banter with my co-anchor when really there was NO ONE THERE AT ALL SITTING NEXT TO ME.
Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, how did you read the news with no one rolling the teleprompter thingie for you?”
That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked me that.
In today’s world of forcing current employed people to pull double-duty, newscasters now control the teleprompter thingies themselves with a contraption known as a teleprompter gas pedal device. Here, I’ll show you:
Suddenly it was time to do the weather. I jumped out of my chair and ran over to the weather station and did the forecast.
Oh sure, I’m smiling, but all the while, I’m developing a cunning plan to rescue all the News10 people from the mass alien abduction that seemed to have taken place.
It was time to dance in front of the weather map, so I jumped over to that and forecasted a very hot day.
And now you’re probably asking why my outfit on set is different than when I started this post and I’m glad you’re such keen observers, but if you knew anything about TV, you’d know I could never wear my previous outfit, what with the green screen and all.
So, anyway, I managed to pull off a whole news show by myself and no one in Sacramento was the wiser.
And then just as suddenly as they disappeared, everyone at News10 re-appeared. They acted like nothing happened.
And they all looked 20 years younger. I’m telling you there’s something fishy going on over there and I intend to get to the bottom of it. ‘Cause I could use another 20 years myself.
…
P.S. For a more accurate story of what really happened, you can read Lisa’s story over on the News10 site. But I like mine better.
Also, thank you to Amy Jacobson Kurokawa, Producer for News10’s My Neighborhood, who moderated the panel. Thanks, Amy!
[…] I don’t know what it is about my presence at TV stations and seemingly coincidental alien abductions of the entire crew, but there I was, yakking it up with David Letterman in the green room of the Ed Sullivan Theater […]
Hey, That was interesting to read. Cool, Nice to see the weather dance.
Wow what a funny post! I love it!
Thank you, Linda!
HILARIOUS!!!! i was actually one of those “cheesers” in the audience and 1st learned of your blog there… and am visiting it for the first time here, now. so funny! i’m at work chuckling like a crazy lady – i know why you are Sactos most valuable 🙂 New fan right here!
Aw, thanks, Deserea.
And thanks for the cheese! 🙂
I nearly believed you. I really did. funny stuff.
I love the idea of you as the weather goat-girl. I can totally imagine the anchor introducing you “and now Nanny goat in panties brings you the weather” and there you’ll be in your pink NGIP pants mee meee
Oh my gosh, can you imagine? The day that happens, call the authorities, they should never let me do the weather. All I would do is bitch about the heat.
Congrats on your News10 thingy! And I always set three alarm clocks when I need to be up for something important, but I still never sleep, which means that I frequently drink too much coffee and vibrate for the remainder of the day. When you come visit me in New Jersey, we’ll choose an exceptionally stable coffee shop.
I know! I couldn’t fall asleep until 2 or 3 hours before I had to wake up. I hate that.
By the way, who is this? I can’t tell by just your handle and no URL. Is this DustyEarthMother?
yes, it’s Dusty Earth Mother! I’m also the editor of New Jersey Mommy Poppins and I have a Disqus account for that. Of course, I can’t figure out how to comment on your blog as myself, because I’m the village computer idiot. Sigh.
I do want to tell you that my titles and first three sentences of my blog posts are much better thanks to your book’s advice! xxoo
OK, now I’m connecting everything together with who’s who in the zoo! I’m going to add you to my Hoboken Blogger meetup invite list for when I come out there.
And that’s fantastic news about your “hooks”!
Yay! Will love to meet you in the so-called flesh when you come. I promise to sleep two hours and drink too much coffee that day so that we can vibrate together.
Okay, first I was laughing at the “cheese” photo and how creepy it really would be if they kept that look on their faces for longer than 3 seconds.
But then I died laughing when you posted all of the “NO ONE IS HERE/BUILDING EMPTY” photos. Seriously, my son came into my room and wanted to know what’s so funny.
And then, I LOST IT when you “single handedly” saved the news show, and somehow changed your outfit!!
FLIPPEN HILARIOUS!
Awww, thanks, Meleah! It’s people like you that make writing all this drivel so worth it!
Thank YOU for making my day!
Looks like a blast! I would have loved to be there soaking in all your awesome knowledge.
It was a blast, Junebug! I would have loved to have seen you there as well!
That was a funny post! I was at a sushi restaurant and reading on my smart phone. I laughed out loud and then everyone wanted to know what was soooo funny. Loved the part about the Walking Dead. Sounds like a great presentation. I should have gone.
Thank you, Candice! There will always be more blogger panels and presentations.
Not to corner you, but just in case you’re interested, I’m doing one that’s just me this week at The Sacramento Bee if you’re interested. Here’s the description for it: http://nannygoatsinpanties.eventbrite.com/
That sounds like a BLAST! Love the pictures. I sure hope you predicted three more months of summer!
I might do that in Canada, but not here in the desert. 🙂
Oh, Margaret. You got me all verklempt here. You’re such a big STAR now! I’m so glad to know you and call you my friend. And by that, I mean, can you whore out my blog the next time you’re on TV?
Seriously, I’m so very happy for you. This is exactly the kind of thing we’ve all been working for and YOU’RE DOING IT!!! Damn, woman. I’m so proud.
Thank you, Kathy! It’s so good to know you’re with me on this. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get that NPR interview, like you! I just gotta figure out how to pitch this thing to people. I haven’t even started down that road yet.
No, you have started down the road. AND you have a book now, which makes you way more credible than the average Joe. This is all excellent exposure and I feel like we get to join you for a wild ride!
I like the blue of that set, which I think of as ‘Jeopardy blue’. Also, shees, its HOT where you live!! Glad that weather is pretty much over for us.
Jeopardy Blue. I like that. 🙂
When will I learn NOT to drink coffee when I’m reading your blog. Talk about sticky content. My laptop hates you but I love you!
Thank you, Cindy! I’m sorry for your keyboard, but I’m not sorry, if that makes any sense.
Gee. Now I am afraid to be too nice…in case you think I am a serial killer.
Welllll, as long as you’re not standing right next to me, I’m sure you can be as nice as you want!
Why on earth would I want to read the “accurate” story?! I much prefer the one written by Margaret’s Brain on Coffee!! It’s like an alter ego or something….
Thank you, Nicky. Yes, sometimes the truth can’t compete with fiction.
What a fun (and entertaining for them, I’m sure!) day!
Best adventure EVER!!!!!
Thanks, Leslie! It was fun!
What a weird post. Keep it up.
Thanks, Kim!
Yes, I did notice the change of clothes and chuckled when you covered it with the green screen theory 😉
This just proves that you are the nuttiest fruit cake ever!
Babs, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. 😉
Blogger, panelist, newscaster, weather girl, and ninja photographer (oh and tall tale teller). You’re like a renaissance woman. Loved it!
Thanks, Dufus! If you ever hear a small explosion in the distance, that’s probably me adding that one last occupation.
Ok what concerns me, is you equate being nice with being a serial killer….
LOL!!
Very funny post!! 🙂 I wanna be you when I grow up. 🙂
Thanks, Karen! It’s not just being nice that concerns me, it being SUPER nice that makes me paranoid. 🙂
You’re amazing. By the way I have that same stripy shirt but mine doesn’t have the floopy things at the cuffs. No floop.
Sorry about the lack of goat pictures for your calendar, things have been nutty here–maybe next year.
Smiles,
Lisa T.
No probs, Lisa! Next year it is.
I love that stripy shirt, it’s longer sleeved, yet cool because it’s kind of on the thin nearly sheer side.
I’m pretty sure this post alone has made me want your life.
I’m going to take that as a compliment. I think. 🙂
I’m like 99.9% it was meant as a compliment… the other 0.01% is leaning towards identity fraud.
😀
Your’s is better, Margaret!
Thanks, Bloomers. I’m glad you’ve got my back.
Tell them that if they let you take over the morning show, I’ll move to Sacramento to watch you. (The noon show is fine, but the a.m. news is where the viewers are.)
You’d have to change the name of the show, though. How about:
“Wake the Hell Up, Sacramento with Margaret Andrews.”
“Get your Butt Out of Bed, Sacramento with Margaret Andrews”
“Don’t Talk to Margaret Andrews Before She’s Had Her Coffee, Sacramento!”
Those are just my favorite options. I have others.
Oh my god, I LOVE those! Can I use those? I could have a different name for every day of the week.
Sure! I’ve got more.
Hungover Sacramento Morning, with Margaret Andrews.
Margaret Andrews’ Don’t Forget to Floss, Sacramento!
Sacramento’s Too Lazy to go to the Gym, with Margaret Andrews.
I am so pitching all of these! And by pitching, you realize I mean the good kind of pitching, not the bad kind.
I’m so glad you met Sarah.
Love LOVE this post! GirlwithMoxie is right…watch out folks…lady with the nannygoats in panties has set a new standard in blogging. : )
Wow. I am one jealous goat. It long been my ambition to tell everyone the weather….and now you have done it. Did you get it right?
I don’t know. I just read off the numbers. Is the weather forecast ever right?
You are such a nut. I love it.
Thanks, Jamie!
So if everyone was gone, who took those pictures of you?
Uhh….uhhhh….Oh! I know! I set up a tripod and timer and remote control and whatever else it is you have to do to take pictures of yourself….right?
Just when I think I can’t laugh any harder at your posts, you write something like this. Ladies and gentlemen, the bar has just been raised…
Thanks, Corinne!