Dear Thomas,
I’m afraid I must take issue (pronounced ISS-YOO, and if possible, in a British accent), with your post entitled “My Year in Things” in which you provide an updated status of your ongoing list of “things”. A veritable list of Resolutions. A perennial To-Do List of 101 Things, hence the name and inspiration of your blog.
I’m no math whiz and I’m too lazy to bust out a calculator (even though there is probably one in the default app section of my computer because every computer has a calculator), but a cursory glance at the number of completed items on your list seems to indicate that you are on track with getting your 101 Things done in 1001 Days and for that I commend you. I had one item on my list of 2010 New Year’s resolutions and it was a big fat FAIL. So there. You’re better than me.
Also, I realize this is not the time to nitpick an item on your list because that wasn’t the point of your post, but it is indeed the point of mine and I would like to briefly address item #49.
#49 Eat at In-N-Out Burger. It wasn’t bad, but I don’t get the hype.
Oh, to this, I must take umbrage. (Actually I’m not sure about that, as I am not completely confident as to the precise definition of “umbrage”, but it sounds good. Well, pompous, anyway)
I am sorry there was ANY hype which must have set you up for disappointment because In-N-Out Burger is the best fast food burger joint on the planet. I could eat In-N-Out every frickin’ day. But…I will say that I was not impressed on my first visit. The fries and burgers taste very different from other burger joints, but then I realized why.
Do you know that they have no freezers? Because every thing is fresh. EVERYTHING! The meat has no preservatives and no fillers. The potatoes are cut right there. The buns are made from old-fashioned, slow-rising sponge dough.
We get so used to eating re-nuked and/or refried frozen things that we forget what real food tastes like, especially in a fast food establishment.
Also? An In-N-Out manager is paid very handsomely. I think I heard it was something ridiculous like $100K per year, with full benefits, plenty of vacation and retirement packages. Employees start at 9 bucks an hour and work up from there.
AND nearly every restaurant staffs friendly people. You never got asked how you’re doing at the Drive Thru until In-N-Out came along and started it. And if you ask how they are doing? They say they are doing great and “Thanks for asking”. Of course they are doing great. They are making a LIVING.
And it’s the BEST place to go if you’re on a low-carb diet. (Just order your burger “protein-style”.) You can order your burger a bunch of different ways that silly cultists like to think is a big secret.
In summary and conclusion, In-N-Out makes only one thing (okay, three things if you count french fries and milkshakes) and makes it well. They don’t need to add variety (like bad chicken sandwiches, or a pile of iceberg lettuce questionably accompanied by two strands of julienned carrot and one cherry tomato the sum of which has the audacity to call itself a salad) to attract “healthy eating” customers because In-N-Out is, as you would say, alsome.
I would ask you to give them a second chance and get picky about the items you want on your burger so it’s the best it can be. And get the Double-Double so you get the right meat-bread ratio.
Meanwhile, I’ll be over at the new Five Guys Burgers and Fries that recently opened near Sacramento, trying their burger because some people say it’s alsome so for all I know I may have to eat all these words.
Cheeseburgerly, Frenchifryingly, and Milkshakingly Yours,
Margaret
(Image Source: goodfinancialcents.com)
Tribal Blogs Conference (June 23-25)
Meanwhile, back in Minnesota, a state in which I have never had the pleasure, a blog conference is taking place. The Tribal Blogs Conference, or as Nicky of We Work for Cheese has taken to call it, TBCon.
And I’m going.
And I’m speaking.
You should come, too. There will be lots of cool bloggers to meet.
Me, for instance.
And you can learn about all kinds of bloggity stuff like social media and monetizing and writing and … did I mention you’ll get to meet me? In real life and everything?
And you don’t have to be a member of Tribal Blogs to register. And if you sign up early, it’s cheaper.
Oh, come on. How many blogging conferences are there in Minnesota? I don’t live anywhere near Minnesota and I’m going. Nicky, who works for cheese, doesn’t even live in this country and she’s going. Actually, I think she’s closer to Minnesota than I am.
So who’s with me? They say it’s right by the Mall of America. Which means I’ll have to get there about a week early.
Link to: More Information About Tribal Blogs Conference
Yeah, I’m in SoCal, and In-N-Out is far and away the best burger joint anywhere. And as you say, the customer service is outstanding. If you’re interested, there’s a great book on the history of In-N-Out. I forget the author, but it’s a great read. And it’ll make you hungry.
If you haven’t yet researched their “secret menu” you must do so. Try a Double-Double Animal Style . . . heavenly.
I wanna bite of an In and Out Burger but ’till you talked about ’em I’d never heard of the things. Woohoo on the conference…your gonna be great! I feel it in my bones and they haven’t let me down yet!!!
God bless and have a fantastic day my friend!!!
I love In and Out Burgers. They are delish! They are guilt free! They are fast food that makes fast food gourmet! I wish I was going to the fabcon. I want details afterward. All the details. Each and every one of the details.
I love me some In-N-Out burger big time! They are seriously good and I hope Thomas gives it a second try. I’m a Fat Bruger fan too, so if he’s really hungry he could do a taste test for us 🙂
Congrats on the Minnesota speaking gig– You’ll be great! When will there be a blog conference in California????
xo jj
OK, I like Fat Burger too (would like some beef with your salt?) and I probably eat there more often because it’s more geo-convenient.
And the BlogHer conference is in San Diego this year.
Now I’m hungry for an In-N-Out burger and they don’t have In-N-Out burgers here. Guess I’ll have to start planning that trip to California. Regarding TBCon… I’m in despair because we have a freakin’ in-service training day that Friday and since I’m the person in charge of in-service training, it means I can’t get to TBCon until the very last moments. Rats! Maybe I can fall and break my other leg so I can get out of work for another four months.
I’ve never eaten at an In-N-Out, and the only reason I know about them is because of The Big Lebowski. However, I doubt that restaurant has anything on Five Guys, the greatest burgers on the planet.
You Big Lebowski people…Like I said earlier somewhere up in this thread, I’m totally adding it to my Netflix queue. I clearly need to see this again.
[…] I was at Nanny Goats in Panties yesterday reading about In-N-Out burgers I happened upon this comment thread. I have to admit I’ve never been to that place but now that she’s broken it down for me […]
FiveGuys Burgers and fries are amazing!! One just opened up here and it is awesome. Never been to an In n Out Burger place. None around here that I know of. But I would definitely try then out as well. I love burgers and the fresher the better!!
Enjoy the conference!
Hugs
SueAnn
Hmmm, I wonder if my city is the burger vortex, the only place where In-N-Out and Five Guys collides.
I am DYING to go to the Tribal Blogs conference this June!
You will be there. You must be there. It will be awesome.
I’m desperately trying to make that happen!
Oh pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…
I must see you. I will see you. If there is anything I can do to help make that happen, let me know. I’m serious. Even if it’s illegal. (oops! I meant to whisper that.)
Ahahahaah! Oh Margaret! Thank you. We just need to convince my parents!
Oh that was funny. I have never heard of that burger place but it sounds great. I am all for fresh ingredients. We have a Five Guys and I really like it when I am in the mood for a burger that is where we go.
We love In-n-Out. Wish they had some in CO. There have been two copy cats out here, but one went out of business and the other is sure to follow. They aren’t the real thing, and you can tell. When we go to CA we have to eat there as many times as possible to sustain us until our next vacation three years later. It’s the only fast food burger I actually enjoy eating.
My friend in H.S. worked at In-n-Out for many years. She loved her job. You would never see the workers goofing off or standing around gabbing and ignoring customers.
When you say copy cats, do you mean they get as close as possible in logo and colors and then completely disappoint on the follow-thru? I hate that. It’s the same thing with Tommy Burgers in L.A. So many fake ones right there in the same city. Blech. Get your own, I say.
Margaret, if you aren’t nice to Thomas, I may have to sic Holy and Crap on you in June! When we’re at TBCon!!!!! I’m still so freakin’ excited!!!! And I’m not sure that I’m closer to Minnesota than you are. At least you don’t have to go through International Customs to enter Minnesota! And do you have to go through the “pat down” process if you’re flying national? Which makes me think of something else…
*whispers* I’m still waiting for that picture I asked for…
We’re supposed to go through Pat Downs, or full body scans or whatever, but when I went to Mexico last month, I got nothin’. They weren’t running those body scan things. How am I supposed to blog about such stuff if I don’t get subjected to it???
A subject I can’t comment on. All we have here are McDonalds and Burger King!
I hope there are going to be plenty of cameras and camcorders at this TBCon. If I can’t be there, I want to at least watch you all making fools of yourselves 😉
I don’t know about anyone else, but I will definitely be having plenty of cameras and camcorders.
Oh goody!
I’m in! I’m in! I am going to TBCon 2011!
woo hoooooooooooooooo! Can’t wait!
Never had one, but sounds good. RRRanting, here in our part of Maine Mom & Pop corner stores in every little village is our ‘fast food’ too. Ours DO offer leaner stuff including burgers. But if it’s not dripping grease around a big slab of raw onion, might as well save myself the trouble & get a hot Italian sub smothered in fried onions & green peppers. Hell, those even soak through tin foil! Love Minnesota! Not some of your politicos though.
I had to go get a paper towel after reading your comment, it was so drippy.
🙂
I was born here, I have no choice. I am ashamed of some of our politicos too. It’s very sad but I was here first and I am not leaving. That hot italian sub sounds wonderful and we can probably get on here but if you really want a delicacy you have to try Lutefisk. Nothing tastes as good as fish ‘cooked’ in lye.
Had relatives in Minnesota tears back. It’s indeed ‘different’, however, having spent several decades working in most of the world’s countries(quite literally), and being the type to try almost anything once, I honestly think the Scandinavian treat found mainly in Iceland & Norway comprising fermented shark is grosser. Seems the shark flesh & assorted parts contain a high level of ammonia, making for a tasty treat.
I say I’ll try almost anything,but I failed with raw pig gonads, sand roasted hog anus, and that year-around treat, boiled sheep stomach with chopped intestines. The last I at least tried, but couldn’t swallow it as it swells up worse than whale blubber. Bon appetit;-)
Being a rancher’s wife, I’m SO happy to see you Left Coasters are still eating beef. It’s good, solid food for good, solid people. I throw the bun away and just eat the meat with all the veggie trimmings.
We don’t have In N Out in West Texas…alas, only Sonic. Now, get to fryin’ your chicken fried steak!
Yes, we’re not all crazy over here. Ain’t nothin’ better than a good filet, medium rare…Mmmmm…..
Minneapolis in June should be pretty nice. Mall of America is a kick, where else can you sit at the food court and watch people riding on indoor roller coasters?
As for In-N-Out, even though I’m vegetarian I had to try a burger when we moved out here. It’s true, there is so much hype you almost think if you don’t keel over in pure bliss after taking the first bite, maybe you are missing something. But it is a deliciously fresh burger served by very friendly people. It’s the place to go whenever I’m on one of my carnivorous benders.
Well if that isn’t an endorsement…a vegetarian choosing an In-N-Out burger!
Shut the f#^% up Donny.
Sorry I’ve never had an In-and-out burger and that is my only reference, but I’ll take Margaret’s word that they are the best….
OK, I’m completely missing something because either that first sentence of yours strayed from another blog and ended up here, or your referencing something I’m not getting. Who the heck is Donny? Or is that some new hip phrase the kids are saying these days, like instead of “Get outta town!” they are now saying “Shut the f#^% up Donny.” ?
I am going to start saying “Shut the f#^% up Donny” immediately. Especially at my kid’s Catholic school when the teacher tells me my second grader aced the religion test.
Teacher: “Mrs. Cardiogirl I’m so proud of your daughter; she’s the only one who received 105% on her religion test. She nailed the extra credit question.”
Me: “Shut the f#^% up Donny! That’s awesome!” (fist hovers in the air as she waits for the teacher to return the fist bump)
Shut the *bleep* up Donny – from The Big Lebowski (John Goodman’s character – Walter Sobchak – which he repeats all the time)
The In and Out reference is when they are going to find The Dude’s car and Donny asks if they can stop for an In and Out burger and Walter says, “Shut the….” HAS NOT EVERYONE SEEN THE BIG LEBOWSKI 129 TIMES? Well obviously you’re not a golfer…Nice Marmot…I can get you a toe…The Dude abides??? Nothing?
I’ve never seen this movie but now I will put it on Netflix for this weekend because I love Steve Buscemi, bad teeth and all.
Lisa you have inspired my post today. I have never seen The Big Lebowski, but like Jen I think it’s time I do.
Totally adding it to my Netflix Queue…
HAHAAAA!!!!! I’ve only seen The Big Lebowski once and it was a long time ago, so I’m completely quote-clueless there. THANK YOU for the explanation. And of course now, you’ve started a whole other blog post with that one, although it seems many people are behind you on this one, Lisa, and knew the reference. I can’t believe I missed that. I’m supposed to be a relatively knowledgeable movie person.I bow to you, my dear.
You know how some blogs have a book club where they talk about ummmm..books. You should totally do a Big Lebowski club where we all have to watch it at the same time and get together on your blog and talk about our favorite parts. And dress up. And drink white russians.
I am totally on board with a Big Lebowski club chat.
I just added it to my Netflix queue and FYI, it’s available on Instant Streaming, so a coordinated effort to watch on the same day would be easier.
OMG. This comment thread has me cracking the frak up. I’ve never seen Lebowski either, but “STFU Donny” does sound like a fun thing to say to random people in life, even if it’s just to see the expression on their face, LOL.
I’m going to watch The Big Lebowski again and THEN use “STFU Donny” with impunity and reckless abandon. Otherwise, I’ll feel like I haven’t earned the right. 🙂
Well, if I find it OnDemand or some other cable channel I’ll watch it, even if it’s just to “get” the reference. 🙂
All this Canuck knows is Harveys, A&W and Lick’s. I hear 5 guys is coming to Canada.
Any other Loonies around here know a good burger joint ?
Lick’s? Is that the place that created a commercial of Paris Hilton washing a car and then taking a bite of their burger? You know she spit that burger out right after the shutter clicked.
I am not sure this In Burger is the place for me. If it was In Apples&Grain it would behoove me to try it out.
Sadly, I will not be at the conference. Goats cannot fly first class and being a famous SpokesGoat I will not travel any other way….have fun and have Lacey take good photos.
We will miss you Pricilla, but your publicist can still come. She would have a great time and could bring you back some nice Honey Crisp Apples (which were invented right here at the University of Minnesota).
oooh, that would be wonderful but the publicist has no money. And I think Sarah’s kids are due then so the male person would have an unholy fit if the publicist were not here to deal.
he does not deal well without her you know….
We will have to Skype you in then. It wouldn’t be the same without you.
Lacey! I have to remember to bring Lacey. I can’t believe I forgot to take her to Mexico with me.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Thomas, redheadranting. redheadranting said: Open Letter to Thomas Carpenter (of 101 Things) http://bit.ly/dQUMux […]
Oh, man. An “open letter” on the internet. Here I am, on my lunch break, flipping through my Google Reader, and I see my name in a headline. Oh, man.
I have a couple of things I need to say, in my defense. First of all. My recollection of that burger was that there was a big wedge of iceberg lettuce on it, and because it wouldn’t lay flat, I really do think that got in the way of full burger enjoyability. But because I care deeply about you and your Readers, Margaret, I promise that I will give In-N-Out another chance the very next time I go to California (or another place that has In-N-Out).
In the meantime (and because I don’t hold grudges–in fact my motto, with apologies to Treasure of the Sierra Madre, is “We don’ need no stinkin’ grudges.”), I feel that I must warn you about Five Guys. The burgers are alsome, but since Mayor Bloomberg has started forcing restaurants to post calorie counts on their menus, I can tell you that an order of fries has 1464 calories, and over 600 of those are from fats. Meaning, if you eat a bacon cheeseburger with no other condiments (920 calories) and then get an order of fries, you’ve essentially eaten a day and a half of calories in one fell swoop. So, I’d recommend it as your last meal before you do one of those “cleanses” where you don’t consume anything but hot water, molasses, lemon juice and hot sauce for ten days straight.
And, finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention my two favoritest burgers in the entire universe: The burger at The Farm on Adderley in Brooklyn, NY (http://www.thefarmonadderley.com) and Shake Shack (also in New York, but branching out).
You’re welcome.
This is why I love you Thomas, because the lettuce wouldn’t lay flat and that you admit that the non flat lying lettuce is what stood between you and a happy burger moment. That takes courage man. Of course, if you were one of my kids I would have to pull a Mommy Dearest on your ass and make you sit there until you either flattened out the lettuce yourself or forced it down all non flat and all.
But you aren’t one of my kids so I don’t have to go Mommy Dearest on you! Tell my you don’t have any wire coat hangers, please.
OMG Shake Shack! I have stood in that novel-length book of a line more than once because of you. In fact, I believe it was Howard Bannister that first recommended it to me.
I love Thomas, he is my very own personal David Sedaris and you can’t have him even if you introduced me to him. I am hoping to one day gay marry him if that tooth paste squeezing thing and David don’t get in the way.
I wish we had an in and out Burger because that sounds like a great job. Alas, all we have for burgers is Culver’s (which I have never been to either) and all the great mom and pop joints that aren’t owned by some huge corporation, Juicy Lucy anyone?
Yes, TBCon is turning into a the great Minnesota Get Together (which is really our State Fair’s slogan but they probably don’t read your blog so they probably won’t sue me because for crying out loud I am Minnesotan and we don’t just go off suing people for silly reasons. We leave that to you CA and NY people. Look at that, I just insulted both you and Thomas, two people I truly love and want to gay marry. Fuck.
Margaret, you forgot to mention that you are speaking at TBCon. As is Kathy from The Junk Drawer and Mooooooog from Mentalpoo, as well as others but we aren’t revealing them yet.
Oh, and the MOA totally is worth an extra week. And, it that weren’t enough right next door is the Mother Ship Ikea.
That ‘it’ should have been an ‘if’.
I am deeply flattered. And insulted. So, I’m going to go sue some people, in response.
I did so too say I was speaking, although looking back at it, it’s almost subliminal. Let me try and fix that.
I guess my only question is, “Will Margaret be speaking?”
Of course she will, and so will Kathy from The Junk Drawer and Moooooog from Mental Poo. Thomas have you met Kathy yet? I’d ask about Mooooog but he might scare you away so stay away from his place.