Look, I don’t have a whole lot of time to chat. I’m in Mexico this week and it would be silly of me to just sit around my room talking to you people all day. It’s bad enough I’ve been extorted into a whole week’s internet charges in my room so I can feel “connected”. And that’s on top of all the “add-ons” AT&T has jabbed me with just so I could call my husband and let him know I got to Cancun in one piece.
That’s right. I’m in Cancun. Sort of. It’s actually some isolated big ass resort somewhere between Cancun and Playa Del Carmen, if you know your Quintana Roo geography. I’ve never stayed at any place so crazy big. Or so Fascist. First of all, when you check in, they put a bracelet on you that I assume has some GPS device so they can track your movements. And you must never take it off.
It’s tolerable while on the resort property, but if you try to leave and venture out into other neighboring towns, your little GPS device sets off some alarm, screaming “TOURIST! TOURIST!” which alerts all the vendors within a 50-foot radius who swoop down on you like vultures as you walk down the street. It’s kind of like doing The Wave at a football game, only in Spanish.
Now, I don’t want to brag or anything, but the balcony on our room has a pool.
Actually it’s more like a really cold jacuzzi.
At the other extreme is one of the pools at our resort I like to call … Lake Michigan.
So, I’ve gotta run and do Mexico, and I promise I’ll send you guys postcards, but I wanted to let you know I got here all safe and sound and so far, unkidnapped.
By the way, have you entered my goat giveaway yet? Oxfam will give a goat to a family in need in YOUR name and I’m hosting it. Please enter this giveaway. It’s for a good cause and it comes from the very fashionable Oxfam Collection.
[…] This Spanish isn’t Spanish at all. (I initially assumed it was Spanish because I was in Mexico last year and I tried very hard to create an international incident and get kidnapped thinking it would be […]
OMG! Have the best time ever!
PS: Did you end up needing to get an electrical outlet converter?
As it turns out, our resort was modern enough I guess that they already had 3 pronged outlets, so…need any converters? 🙂
Oh good! And no thank you!
Wow good for you! Staying at a posh hotel and on vacation! We all have to rest sometime and get recharge for the work tomorrow. You should not stay in your room. That room is for sleeping only. Your in a new place so go out and explore explore explore.
Vacation, huh? Nice! Hope you’re having fun and enjoying great weather and lots of free drinks 🙂
Cheers, jj
Be sure to check your shoes for bugs that might be trying to sneak into the U.S. illegally.
Wow – Have fun!
Mexico huh? You made me jealous but unlike some of the other commenters I will be there with my kiddos in a few weeks! YEAH! So get all the cloudy days and rain out now will ya. I want nothing but sunshine and warmth when I get there!
Ah, slumming it, I see. They really should have given you a full size pool on the veranda!
Hey Nanny;
Hope you’re having fun. No really. I really hope you are. I know it must be awful and everything, and why couldn’t they have given you a nice room? I mean, from your picture it looks like just a balcony. And an outdoor bathtub? You poor thing. While I’m on the subject, would you ask one of the natives how in the world they manage to get raccoons in a can in the first place?
Yours Sincerely,
HumorSmith
Where abouts are you? I’m going to Puerto Morelos in March to stay at a big arse resort, not the one you’re at, but I’m sure most of the same rules apply…
We are maybe 10 miles south of Puerto Morelos, which is where we plan to visit tomorrow. I’ve heard John Gray’s is THE place to go, but they’re only open for dinner, so I’m not sure we’ll be able to make it. But you might want to mark it on YOUR calendar.
Have a couple margarita’s for me!
We got 3 000 feet of snow in the past couple of hours. It didn’t come with a bracelet. It took me 15 hours to make the 20 minute drive home. A GPS bracelet would have been handy, pun intended. I think I parked the car in the pool. But the really important thing is that you made it safely to your big ass resort in Cancun. I would hate for you to think I was bitter while you were swimming, sunning yourself and drinking Margaritas by the pool. The pool in Mexico, not the one here in Canada where my car is parked.
Nicky, is there a way to make a global LIKE on all your comments? If Disqus were the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science, you’d win the Oscar for Best Picture.
Do I get to go to Mexico to accept this prestigious award? Please?
Yeah, I can’t compete with that either, but I hope you’re having a great time while the rest of us are freezing our butts off – we can’t even get up to 32 degrees today. I think we hit 33 yesterday, and had snow on Saturday. Enjoy!
Oh how wonderful – we were near Akumal in October – bliss! If you get the chance to snorkel in a cenote, go for it – it was one of the most amazing things ever. As for the criminal tag – I bet you by the end of the week you’ll be planning your outfits around it dah-ling! Have a Margarita for me (with little cocktail umbrellas).
Oh baby, it was 13 degrees here on the Ponderosa this mornin’….I’m sooooo jealous!!!
Have a wonderful time sweetie!!!
God bless
have a great time! i’m jealous of your private pool.
You know how this old goat feels…
But enjoy your vacation anyway
What a funny coincidence, I have a really cold jacuzzi on my patio. No wait, that’s a puddle. You know, from all the rain we are having while you soak up the sunshine in Mexico.
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Look at the glorious sun! And the pools are delightful! Forget about the bracelet. Think of it as a fashion statement. When I was last in Mexico, we had to allow the hotel security check our shopping bags when we came in. We were not allowed to bring outside food or drink into the hotel. (Beer or beverages had to be purchased there.) Interesting. But it is a fun place. Stay safe.
I’m going to the mall later.
Thanks for rubbing that crap in.
The GPS wristband is for tracking you when you’re kidnapped. It’s all the rage now.
Also, I hate you.