Crime and (Six Ideas for Proper) Punishment

I stumbled on a Sacramento Bee news story about a guy, practically a kid, who was recently arrested for shining a laser at a CHP airplane. Excuse me, he was arrested “on suspicion” of shining a laser. Last year, another guy was sentenced to prison for over three years for doing the same thing.

Personally, I think it’s kind of idiotic, no it’s definitely idiotic to play with the cops in this manner. Especially when you know what you’re doing is wrong (they found the laser thrown over the fence – a bit of an indicator)

But my question is, why should idiots like this take up valuable tax paid space in the pokey when there are violent criminals on the waiting list to get in? I say make the punishment fit the crime. I mean for God’s sake, make an example of him via non-jailed humiliation, not by giving him free lodging and three squares a day. He’s not so much a criminal as he is an idiot. I have a few ideas that I pulled out of my tukus just now for you, not that I have any idea what I’m talking about.

Six Ways to Properly Punish a Criminal

1. First, make him sit through several long and excruciating lectures given by a Ben Stein-like speaker and quiz him to within an inch of his life on the dangers of pointing lasers at airplane or helicopter pilots. Clockwork Orange him if necessary to make sure he’s “getting it”.

2. Confiscate the idiot’s laser pointer, citing his inability to use it responsibly, find out who the idiot’s arch nemesis is and make a loud big public deal presenting the laser pointer to his nemesis, preferably a guy named Meathead, making sure to tell him why he’s receiving such a cool toy. Make sure you tell Meathead to use it responsibly (i.e. do not point it at pilots in the air).

3. Fine his ass. Ten thousand dollars ought to do it. Garnish his wages because something tells me he’s not the type to pay bills on time.

4. Make sure his parents know about this fine mess he’s gotten himself into.

5. Community Service: As long as there is litter in the streets, there will be a need for people to pick it up. This task serves as a double message sender. Not only does it give him time to think about what he’s done, it also serves as a potential warning to him against littering. If people didn’t throw crap out of their windows, he wouldn’t have to be there picking it up. Maybe he’ll think twice about littering himself. He should also be made to wear a T-Shirt that tells everyone else working with him and people driving by why he’s there. On the front, it should say, “I’m an idiot” and on the back it should say, “I pointed a laser at an airplane pilot”.

6. Make him write 1000 times: I will never discharge a laser at another aircraft again. With a crayon. On a busy roadside billboard.

I ask you, how is this NOT better than sending him to the slammer?

Cliverules

I like the idea of the offender wearing a tracking bracelet and cleaning public bathrooms up and down a busy street. For instance, he would start at one end of a strip mall and go business to business cleaning up the bathroom and he wouldn't be allowed to leave until the store manager approved the cleaning job he did.

I bet that would deter a lot of would-be criminals.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

OK, that's it. I'm adding that one to the list.

http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

You are so right. I think you should post this in the Sacramento Bee as a Letter To The Editor. Seriously.

When you and I run things, Margaret, this will be a much different world. Idiots like this will be sterilized to prevent them from further trashing the gene pool.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Don't get me started on sterilization. I'll bust out my notebook and start taking names right now.

As for a Letter to the Editor, one must be prepared for the idiotic (and grammatically incorrect) backlash that occurs on so many forums these days.

http://www.thefiftyfactor.com/ Joanna Jenkins

Right on! Sending people like this to jail is one reason when the State of California is BROKE. Sheesh. This should have been an easy one for the courts to figure out.
Happy weekend, jj

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

I know, right?

Every time I see your name I think man, I gotta get me down to L.A.

http://www.theviewfromthejohnsons.blogspot.com Ali

I think it is clear that you should be a judge – nay, queen!

there is a problem, though. people might be confused by your logic. you may need to dumb it down for your subjects a little.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

An excellent point, Ali. Howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws thissssssssssssssssss?
Oh, you said dumb it down, not slow down. Hmmmm. I may have to hire that out.

http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

OMG! You are brilliant! I think number six was my favorite form of punishment!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

I think #6 was my favorite too, although I could only think of Bart Simpson as I wrote it.

http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

http://www.bytesofginger.blogspot.com Ginger

Meg, your tips are waaaaaay better than way better than any ole jail time. Cleaning public toilets/bathrooms is it! I know that would deter me from even thinking up a silly crime/prank. *shudder

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

I know, right? These people don't act like adults, so they shouldn't be treated as such.

http://twitter.com/roses2rainbows Linda R.

Hey, love your ideas. Not only would they save taxpayer money, it would be free labor to clean up the city. You running for mayor?

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

This is my point exactly. We should also educate them, using interns looking for experience and college credits. Teach them skills like CPR, how to spell, critical thinking, all the stuff they should be teaching in school now but don't. Give them all kinds of volunteer work to do. Teach them how to grow avocados and how to milk cows. Aren't there lots of ways to exchange stuff for free like this that helps lots of people in the process?

Irish Gumbo

Not only is the book one of my favorites, you turned 'Clockwork Orange' into a verb…I think I have a serious crush on you now

All those ideas sound like good ones. You are correct: more idiot than criminal.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Yay! A post-induced crush! My work is done here.

Nezzy

Amen to that. Get him out work him, humiliate him but don't waste our precious tax dollars on 'em while there are real hard core criminals runnin' loose.

Ya'll enjoy your weekend and for heavens sake put down those lasers!!!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Thanks Nezzy! I hope you had a wonderful weekend!

http://www.soleflormom.com Laura Barros

I love when I come across some new blogs “by accident” and they are so amusing and surprising.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

You know, I'm going to make a big leap here and risk arrogance by thinking you mean this here blog. In which case, thank you for the compliment!

If not, then I'll be slinking in the corner.

http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

Margaret, as always, you hit the nail on the head!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Thank you, Linda. I'm just sick of stupidity and nothing proper being done about it.

Carla

Simply loved it! Wan't it Judge Joe Brown that used to mnake the punishment appropriate for the crime too? You are so right!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Was it? I never watched Judge Joe Brown, but if that' s how he rolled, then mad props to the Judge!

http://www.shoot-me-now.com Katherine Murray

Maybe the person was just trying to play laser with his cat..??? LOL

Last year a kid was taken out of a HS soccer game because he was (get this) shining his laser pointer in the eyes of the refs!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

See now playing laser with a cat is OK, because you are making fun of your cat because he is chasing something that doesn't exist, which is hysterical. Of course if he ever found out what you were doing, you'd best keep your bedroom door closed while you sleep at night. And Locked.

http://idothings.info JD at I Do Things

You're elected!

For what office, I don't even care.

What I love best about your plan is that it involves an arch nemesis. I think that's what's missing from too many prison sentences.
http://wmljshewbridge.blogspot.com/ Lorie Shewbridge

I totally love your ideas… I hate the idea of him going to jail and getting 3-squares and a free education. I think you should send your suggestions to “Governor Terminator” so he can save the state some money.