Have you ever had one those little things on your face? You know, those long sticky grayish turquoise things that just sort of dangle around for days and nobody says anything until one day the cat starts batting at it while you’re trying to watch Real Housewives of Deliverance and the next thing you know, Fluffy has managed to wrap this thing that’s connected to your face around its neck and you can’t decide whether to call the vet or 911? OHMYGOD – me too!
But that’s not why I called this meeting. No, the reason you’re all sitting here today is so I can complain about my nosy Nellie of a computer.
I was writing an email to my late late grandfather the other day and one of the sentences I used was:
“I never did like any of your wives and I’m including the hag who birthed the woman who birthed me….”
And do you know what my computer said to me?
Now, where does Google Mail get off eavesdropping on my personal correspondence? I don’t go around openly challenging Google’s search results, do I? Why are they suddenly so interested in my affairs? What have I done to warrant special attention? I mean, other than publicly threatening the president with a toothbrush which by the way was not my fault – I was high on too much mouthwash and didn’t know what I saying.
But how would you feel if you were minding your own business writing an email to your friend, discussing something kind of personal and your email program starts butting in?
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want my mail program getting all up in my business like that. What do you think?