Why is it when a friend, let’s say his name is Pivot, why is it when Pivot tells us he is about to fly across the country and he’s nervous about flying, we feel so compelled to launch into our most horrifying plane story we can conjure up?
“Oh my God, Pivot,” we say. “I saw this show where this big commercial jetliner just dropped out of the sky with no warning whatsoever and smacked into a tree and everybody died.”
or…
“So, Pivot, this buddy of mine just flew to Vegas last week and they hit this pocket of turbulence and my buddy smacked his head on the ceiling and blood gushed out, I think he fractured his brain or something, and no doctor was on board and he had to sit there bleeding to death until they landed.”
Poor Pivot. He’s already anxious about flying and we want to scare the poor guy to death. We don’t even realize what we’re doing, but it’s irresistible, isn’t it? The first thought that pops into our minds when someone is about to board the nervous bus is to talk about about the bus that drove down the cliff last year because that is the first thing that pops into our minds. We are addicted to drama.
Are we that desperate to contribute to the conversation and afraid we’ll be too boring if we say something simple, like “Have a nice trip?”
So anyway my husband, MrMudPuppy, is having a tonsilectomy next week. In the doctor biz, this is referred to as a Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy, or T&A, because apparently, the four go together. Like Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice.
Say Ahh!
And like chicken pox, a tonsillectomy is much more difficult on an adult than a child, so he’s understandably a little nervous.
NOW! What was your first thought when I said he was a little nervous? Your brain left in search of the worst tonsillectomy story you could think of, didn’t it? DIDN’T IT? And if you didn’t go there right away, you are going there now, aren’t you? AREN’T YOU?
I knew it.
Oh all right then, let’s hear your horror story. You know, the one where your friend’s cousin’s building’s janitor knew a guy who knew a guy who wound up in the hospital for 3 years with bolts in his neck because he coughed once after having throat surgery?
Just remember, my husband reads this blog and if I find him shaking and fetal in a sweaty puddle on the kitchen floor later, it will be YOUR fault.
(photo source: stock.xchng)
I promise I won't relay my horror story but it involves infection and a full body cast!!
I am just saying…!
God be with you
Hugs
SueAnn
Oh no! That sounds awful. Well, it's been two weeks now and luckily my husband is okay so far. He's recovering very well, thank goodness. No infections and no full body casts.
You will do fine!
My mom had 3 men hold her down on the kitchen table when she was 4 when they ripped out her tonsils! You are going to the hospital aren't you? If not maybe I can find these guys if they aren't to busy!
Om my goodness – please tell me you're kidding. That sounds straight out of a horror movie.
:O
BEWARE!! BEWARE!!!
My brother and sister and I all had our T&A's together. My brother & I came out fine but the surgeon slipped and sliced a hole thru her throat and neck. To this day, she leaks when she drinks.
My 7 yr old daughter had the A w/o the T two summers ago. To this day, she still has no interest in reading “War & Peace.”
ACK!!! OK, that's a good one. You might just win a kewpie doll for that.
BAHAHAHAHA! I totally did wrack my brain, but I got nothin. I wish I did because I like scaring people with stories. I'll have to search the internets and come back with something truly horrifying. However I do want to tell every pregnant woman who is nervous about childbirth, that my ten pound daughter was literally yanked out of my body by her arm. Someone needs to give me a goddamn medal for that.
Holy crap! By the arm? You so deserve a medal for that. And I'm sorry you couldn't find a proper horror story either. Maybe we can use your ten pound baby birth story and modify it somehow. Like maybe you had ten pound tonsils removed. And you got a medal for it.
I had my tonsils out when I was 7 years old, it was a terrible experience. My throat was so sore, I didn't even want ice cream. I was offered; but I couldn't eat it. I still have nightmares…
All the ice cream you can eat….”can” being the operative word there. I've loaded up on ice cream, but if he won't be able to eat it, well, that's more for me!
No horror stories. I hope all goes well. Hospitals suck.
Thank you, Jayne!
I had my tonsils out when I was in 2nd grade. I remember when I woke up, the nuns from my school were there and they brought me a little wooden crate filled with tiny candies that looked like Florida oranges.
So anyway, I think if your hubs woke up after surgery surrounded by nuns bearing fruit, that'd be a little scary. Yes? 😛
Yikes, that would would be scary! Which reminds me, I need to stop by the costume store before I take him in tomorrow.
😉
fortunately, I've never had a tonsillectomy – unfortunately that means I dont have any horror stories for you!
Guilty as charged. I caught myself doing this one-upmanship thing last weekend and gave myself a big bitch-slap on the inside.
You are so right; what's wrong with all of us that we do that?! I can honestly say I haven't heard any tonsillectomy horror stories. Best of luck!
After reading all these comments, all I can do is wish you Good Luck, Mr. Husband of this goat with the panties. Hope the tonsils come out just fine.
Have a great week end.
I had mine done when I was 14 and it was not too much fun. I couldn't talk for 2 weeks because they destroyed my tongue with the stupid clamp. Other than that it was ok, all the ice cream and tv I wanted. Margaret…sorry it took me so long but thanks for the ec!
I really thought this post was about surgically enhanced Tits and Ass. It's the only T&A I was familiar with until now. Don't ask why.
Mr. MudPuppy will be fine. I have no T&A stories but I have plenty of other kinds regarding surgeries re: Troy. But they are so much better coming from Troy. He's so poetic, you know.
This was the first time I'd heard T&A mean something ELSE as well.
Bwah! (Laughing at Kathy's comment below.)
I had a T&A when I was around 16. I'll never forget how betrayed I felt when “You can eat all the ice cream you want” turned into “You can ONLY eat ice cream because everything else will cause exquisite pain — yes, even Mom's famous 5-Star Soup, which is a stable of Christmas Eve because you had to have this done over Christmas break and now everything is ruined.”
But I could be remembering it wrong.
I really am rather anxious about how I'm going to keep him from starving to death. I already tried shoving a sandwich in his ear and that didn't work.
Just don't give him the falsely cheerful “You can eat all the ice cream you want!” line.
I grew up fast, that day.
Don't let him bring them home to you in a jar, 'K?
No way, man. They are going straight to the jewelers for a setting I've already picked out.
No horror stories here either. I was told that I should have mine out, as a child, but I never did. My problems cleared up once I was through my teens, so I didn't need it anyway.
I did however, know a chap who had his out because of reoccurring tonsillitis, and he just got reoccurring Laryngitis after that! Does that count as a horror story?
That's a good enough horror story for me. Thanks Babs!
Too much!! LOL
the photo thumbnail looks almost naughty until you see the full size version. :{
Shar – I TOTALLY know what you mean. I've looked at it a couple of times in thumbnail version and completely forgotten what it was and tried to figure it out.
No horror stories (I had mine out at age 6). Hubby had his done along with some sinus stuff a few years ago. He got some good drugs, and didn't have any problems. He did get some really good drugs. 😉 and I made him some pudding!
Yes, drugs and pudding are at the top of our list.
My mother had her tonsils out as an adult. The most important part of this was that she was living in Los Angeles and Clark Gable rode on the elevator with her after her surgery. Sine you and I are old enough to remember Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice, we are also old enough to remember Clark Gable! LOL! Good luck to hubby!
Wow – I never heard of a hospital with that feature. Did she have to pay extra for that?
LOL! I would have!
They will give him some very nice drugs so he probably won't be too much trouble for the next couple of weeks. Stock up on the ice cream and jello. Push liquids. I think I mentioned it wasn't fun for my son. I think I forgot to mention he lost 30lbs. I want to get my tonsils out.
Yes, the tonsillectomy diet. And it ain't one of them yo-yo diets either. You can only do it once, from what I understand.
Yikes! That surgery doesn't sound like a picnic– but it does sound way better than that plane ride. I'll be watching to hear your nurse stories during his recovery.
And…. love the new look but is it me or do you no longer show up on sidebars??? Mine shows your last post a week ago….
jj
I'm so glad you asked, Joanna. It all depends on how people are linking to NGIP. In many cases, blogrolls pick up my old “feed” URL instead of my blog URL, so you have to delete me from your blog roll and re-add me so that the new feed URL will pick up. At least I think that will fix it. It's all because I switched from Blogger to Word Press. Let me know if that resolves it so I can stop telling people the wrong thing if that doesn't actually work.
Back in my day, the docs yanked the tonsils out (whether they were bad or not) before age 5. MrMudPuppy…good luck…and you might want to take a flashlight and look 'back there' for condoms or other flotsam and jetsam before the the doc starts pokin around. You know….to avoid embarrassment. I'm not judging…I'm just sayin'
You'll do great!
Excellent advice, Kate, In fact, we should do a perimeter check before AND after the surgery. I am also just sayin' and not judging.
Did you hear the one about the guy who, after hearing horror stories about botched surgeries like operating on the wrong limb etc., decided to write T&A on his throat so the surgeon would know what to do. SHE's doing just fine now!
Seriously, good luck! Hope it's not too painful…
If I hadn't heard about people using Sharpies to help the doctors ID which leg or arm to operate on, I'd think you were kidding about this!
You know, I used to work for an Ear, Nose and Throat Surgeon and I know that for an adult…. just kidding. I am sure his doc is doing everything possible to make everything come out great! They only do this if it is truly necessary.
I do agree with Katherine, you will probably have to wait on the hubs hand and foot because I'm sure he will be a big baby!
I love the photo of the hippo.
Aw, shucks, Lorie. Now you've got me in suspense!
I, too, loved the photo of the hippo. I appreciate the photographer allowing me to use it.
I don't know anyone who had one of them there surgeries. Probably because they all died.
Bwa-HAHAAH!!! Thanks Kathy. That's awesome.
My first thought is that it's exactly what pregnant women hear – all the horrifying childbirth stories (“I was in labor for 10 days and the baby weighed 17 pounds – she could walk when she came out!”).
The other thing that comes to mind is that my husband had his tonsils out when he was 19. His mom asked what she should bring him – he asked for a Playboy and she brought him one!
Good luck, MrMudPuppy!
CaySedai – That is a way better analogy than what I came up with. I wish I'd thought of that. Maybe if I'd had children, I WOULD have thought of it.
And that's one committed mother to bring a Playboy magazine to her suffering son. Makes me wonder what demands MrMudPuppy will make.
Awwwww everything will go well. Except him being a MAN and all, you might have to be MommyNursemaid… no offense, I am sure your husband is wonderful… but men and pain – they just can't take it! That is why women have babies and men don't.
BUT SERIOUSLY – I'm sure the doc has done this a million times before (umm you better check on that) and your hubby will be AOK. Get that sherbert ready…. !!!
No, I'm sure you're right. And I've completely cleared my schedule for the next 2 weeks at least, stocking up on pudding, jello and ice chips. I could get one of those sexy little nurse outfits, you know, to serve him ice cream with, but there's some stupid post-op rule about no strenuous activity for several weeks. What kind of crap is that?
HAHA just like a man to be laid out for two weeks after tonsil surgery. I wasn't even so lucky after my c-section.
So, is Mudpuppy getting a T&A or is he losing his T&A? Even though its the same physically, mentally, one just seems better than the other.
I was going to tell you the story of how my boy Si go to feed the hippo at the zoo and we got up really close and it opened its mouth wide open like that and I tossed and apple in and the hippo chewed it but then I realize nobody got gored or slimed so it's not that interesting a story.
Actually my sister had a T&A too when she was small but she didn't die and nothing much happened except she got really spoiled and her surgery overshadowed my first Brownie campout and my mom was so preoccupied she forgot to pack jammies for me so I had to sleep in my knickers and to this day I feel like my sister has a bit of an entitlement complex. I hope that doesn't happen to Mr. Mudpuppy but if it does you can vent to me, Margaret. I WILL be there for YOU because even people who aren't having surgery are special and need love and attention, too.
Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear that no one got gored or slimed at the zoo. I would have loved to hear about it.
The publicist and everyone she knows still has their tonsils.
She is though, eating some rich, creamy goat's milk ice cream as she types this.
Tell him to think of the ice cream
Mmmmm, ice cream. I wonder if that means I can have as much as I want too.
I have never had an operation before and I have to say that I would be scared spit-less to be put under. The one thing that does come to mind is the movie “Cheaper by the Dozen” (the old one with Clifton Webb). His children have to have their tonsils removed and he decides to have his done as well. I'll stop there…
Anyway, I wish him all the best and I believe you still get all the ice cream you can eat: something he can look forward to. Unless, of course, he doesn't like ice cream, then well…
You mean they ALL had to have their tonsils taken out? At the same time? That's a lot of ice cream. And a horribly dedicated father. Or did he do it to get out having to take care of them, so Mommy would have to serve up all the ice cream? And I thought I'd seen that movie before, but I don't remember the tonsil scene. Maybe we'll rent that for the Post-Op entertainment.
He was an efficiency expert and with his 12 children, he thought it would be more efficient if the doctor did the surgeries in their parlor. That way, he could also film it. Because his kids were so nervous, he decided to show them how easy it was and had his taken out first…with only a local anesthetic (that way he could make sure the doctor did his job properly). Anyway, it was a funny film and I believe it was made in the 1940's.
Give my best to your husband 🙂
Tim
tahtimbo@hotmail.com
Everyday Living
I heard of one guy who found a condom wedged under his tongue after he woke up. The sore throat was the least of his worries.
I'm already laughing outloud and I'm just at the first comment!
Yikes! Great – one more thing to add to the Post-Op ToDo list.