The Dangers of Shopping Alone

Mar 1st, 2010

I kind of needed you there at the time before I did anything stupid, but I went ahead and bought them anyway. And now I’m afraid to go out in public because I don’t know if they actually look nice on me or if the saleslady who accompanied me to the dressing room was merely desperate to make her commission.

So OK, be honest…

Does this suit make my butt look fat?

The dressing room lady told me this was slimming.

The saleslady said it was genuine Tortachelle, which sounded snazzy and exclusive and I thought I was getting a real bargain.

And you’ll probably say the same thing about my hat, but again, honesty please…

Does this hat make my butt look big?

It’s OK, you won’t hurt my feelings. Tell the truth. Too much? Should I tone it down a little?

GAH! See what happens when you let me go shopping without you?

Posted in: museum, shopping, tucson.

KristinaP

My butt wouldn't even fit in the tortoise shell.
http://hackingthehacked.blogspot.com/ Paul

I always ask my fiancee for advice whenever I buy new clothing, because I thought women have better taste than men do as far as clothing is concerned ,.. and now I see this, sheesh. I have been deceived.

Another post from you that put a smile on my face
http://cowpattysurprise.blogspot.com/ Nezzy

Good grief girl, I'm cryin' here! Your a hoot! I'm sayin' this with love 'cause I know ya'll can take it. The sales gal is a liar…the dang shell adds thirty pounds if it adds one. The hat??? Honey, there's just not enough words!

Have a fun day….it looks like your off to a grand start!
http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

Think of it as being “fashion forward.”
http://www.wendiaarons.com/ Wendi

OMG, I think I've been to that Old Navy.
http://really3.blogspot.com/ Meesa

I'm laughing so hard, I've got the dogs barking and jumping on me. I think the shell might make your butt look just a little bit fat, even though it's really cute. I'll be honest. You might hate me for that right now, but in the long run you'll thank me. I do think the hat matches your glasses though. It's a keeper.
http://really3.blogspot.com/ Meesa

Did you change how how we leave comments or am I just retarded?

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Meesa – Um, I'm not sure. What happened? Did something happen? I haven't changed anything that I'm aware of.

http://really3.blogspot.com/ Meesa

It was trying to make me sign in or something.And having me post as a guest. Didn't it used to leave a comment on Twitter too, whenever we'd leave a comment here? I don't know. I don't know. don't mind me. I'm probably just having a “moment.”

http://www.pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com/ Pricilla

At least you could have tried on goat horns!
Sheesh!
http://wwwsueann.blogspot.com SueAnn

OMG!! You are so grounded!! I am hiding your credit cards and your checkbook!! LOL!!
Hugs
SueAnn
scott_free

I think it's TOTALLY chic! I hear the tortoise-shell/hyena-ears are in vogue this season.
Thanks for sharing, Nanny!
AnythingFitsANakedMan

Hahaha!! I can't type! I'm laughing to hard! Oh, THANK you! I needed that! (BTW: You're HILARIOUS!!)

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Hey, thanks man! Say, do you have a blog? I'm asking because some people (including you) don't leave a blog URL in the comment form, so it's hard to visit other people's blogs and say hi over there if they don't leave it. Of course if you don't have one, that's okay too. I love that you come by here.

AnythingFitsANakedMan

That's funny, I DO leave my http link every time, I guess it's just not showing! Anyhoo, thanks for asking, I DO have a blog! It's called Anything Fits a Naked Man (a phrase my DAD always used, NOT about nudity!!), and it's at http://anythingfitsanakedman.blogspot.com. C'mon by!!
Joan

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

What the…? Well I don't understand why it doesn't show up for you. Stoopit free Disqus commenting system.

http://boomergeekgirl.blogspot.com/ ReformingGeek

Sheesh! I'm calling PETA!
http://www.stimeyland.com/ Stimey

What in the beejeezus are those ear things?

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Well, if the truth be known, they were bat ears attached to a pole that you squeezed your head into like headphones so that you could experience “echolocation”, the way a bat hears things. See how boring the truth can be?

http://happyhealthyfamilies.com/ Irene

I soooo want a suit like that! I am jealous of your big butt and must get myself one too! Can you pretty please tell me where you bought it? I'll be your new BFF!!

Irene@happyhealthyfamilies.com
http://www.myinnerfoodzilla.blogspot.com/ Jen

You're crazy…but in a good way.
Manic_Mommy

Damn SPANX aren't foolin' around are they?
http://kristy-hutchison.blogspot.com/ kristy

I think the hat is very slimming actually
Decoybetty

The suit is fabulous – it makes you look like a super hero…

The hat..makes your butt look big.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

I knew it! That's the last time I go hat shopping without you.

mommadjane

That hat looks so heavy. What's it made of? Funny!
fragrantliar

So, I guess you shelled out a lot of moula for the Tortuga look. Well, sorry I wasn't there to advise you on the perils and pitfalls of carapace couture. It ALWAYS makes your butt look big. But, strangely, not as big as those giant rubber ears. What? You can't hear what I'm saying?
http://mizdinah.blogspot.com/ Miz Dinah Gogina

The turtle girdle is a perfect fit. You can see nary a panty line. And the hat, very slimming. I didn't even notice your butt.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

“Turtle girdle” – HA!

http://buttsandashes.blogspot.com/ marlaahansen

Butt? What butt? These accessories literally scream, “NANNY GOAT IN PANTIES!!”
cadenobrien

Ummm, yah, it does. But then your butt probably IS big. So don't sweat it. I never do!
http://just-to-view.blogspot.com/ dasta

hmm,butt is probably big
http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

Definitely makes your butt look smaller. What the heck are those things on your ears?
pam101360

ha ha ha! nah….I think you turned into an insect with a lil butt! ha ha ha!

xoxo
http://www.margsanimals.com/blogs Marg

Oh my I had to go change my undies from laughing so hard. I think the hat could have been left behind. And your behind looks just like a turtle for some reason. You certainly do need some one to accompany you on your shopping trips. You are worse than me. This was all too funny.
moooooog35

If you didn't yell:

“What? WHAT?!”

..while wearing that thing in the last photo, then I'm gravely disappointed in you.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Oh, Crap! And there people standing around who could have heard me doing it too. I'm sorry – I totally blew that one.

http://www.nooterthedog.com/ nooter

ha ha ha!
can you hear me now?
http://www.magicksandwich.org kathcom

The hat is awesome, but I can't get past thinking that even if I could manage to wriggle my way into your new Tortachelle suit, I would be helplessly stuck while bystanders threw Slushees in my face. At least they wouldn't be able to tell that my butt looked fat!
vixensden

I totally need to go shopping with you!
http://mommamiameaculpa.com meleahrebeccah

hahahahhahahhHAHHAHAHahhahahahahahhaha.
OMG. these photos are GREAT! you are freaking adorable!
http://recheers.blogspot.com/ Nedekcir

lol, I like the shell…you look like you are flying…..whosh. The caption are hilarious…thanks for making me smile today.
http://www.shoot-me-now.com/ Katherine

I can't believe no one attempted a lame joke about you being BATTY. So am I the first? The turtle shell doesn't make it look big, and it makes me shellfish. Oh BOY I'm full of them today. I was really stretching with that one. Can't wait for your next post – I'm all ears! Do you write in a special SHELLter? What? What?! I can't hear you!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Awesome!!! You just spewed a lot of firsts. I could hear the rimshot after each one.

http://mightymfamily.blogspot.com Mighty M Family

Next time if you can't FOLD it up you probably shouldn't be wearing it.

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

So you can imagine the hell I'm going through hanging this in my closet.

http://mrsblogalot.com mrsblogalot

LOFL!! Did they have the shell in other colors?
enterthehole

Shellsuits *always* make your butt look big!

Cupboard Creatures!
http://www.maturelandscaping.com/ Nance

Lord, this all looks like something right out of Johnny Depp's “Alice In Wonderland”!
http://any-given-moment.blogspot.com/ t.j.

Do they have the tortoise shell in another color?
debbie_suburbsanity

I am impressed you got into, and apparently out of, that shell. I would still be in their struggling. You wouldn't even have to flip me over on my back to paralyze me!

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Oh Debbie. THAT was not easy. And it was almost claustrophobic crawling into that thing. And I was trying to do it fast before any kids came along with their parents yelling at me to stop playing on the kids exhibit and how old did I think I was. Plus, I had to really stick my butt out to get in and out and I was afraid of seizing up. And then when I got out my husband said, “I don't think I got it in focus, can we do it again?” So, I did it again. Sheesh!

http://www.thefiftyfactor.com/ Joanna Jenkins

I just snorted soda up my nose. Ha! Love the hat, Margaret. It's VERY slimming

Hope all's well with you. I've been on vacation and finally able to catch up on my reading. Off to read your older posts.

jj
junkdrawer

I like the tortoise shell, but I think you're gonna have a really hard time finding Q-tips big enough for those ears.

Also, have you lost your marbles?
B_enveeus

LOL! I think I need to borrow that shell
http://sexnfries.blogspot.com/ Lizzy

love the pics

btw we took stuff

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Again???? *calls police*

http://www.theguysperspective.com/theguysblog One of THE GUYS

Funny!

You look pretty naughty in those ears. Add some granny panties to the mix and we should talk.

Your site was one of the sites we gave some props to today. Enjoy!

Have a good one.
http://unfinishedperson.com/category/unfinished-rambler Unfinished Rambler

I'm not going to comment. I'll leave that to your significant other.
http://slightlysarcastic.net/ sheila

OMG – you look so beautiful. Where did you find these? I've got to get one. You really need something like this to make the outfit complete:

http://www.gizmodiva.com/entry_images/0608/30/n…

or

http://montrealradioguy.files.wordpress.com/200…
lenaloo

So I dunno if my shopping sense will help you much, I kinda lost my savvy somewhere in the Maternity section and it hasn't quite recovered yet… But… I think I may be seeing more of you soon, my church just got in at Urban Hive… We begin co-working April 4th… There will be a party

http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

Woo hoo Lenaloo! (Hey I made a rhyme). That would be really cool to see you at the Urban Hive (I'm actually there right now.)

http://justeileenandsue.blogspot.com/ eileen

The Tortachelle is nice.. what the heck is the hat? It looks like 2 giant larvas.. do they change into giant butterflies? In that case it might be nice provided they butterflies stay on your head.
http://www.toomanymornings.com/ MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

I think the ears are definitely slimming. Also, they're distracting, so even if you are fat, nobody notices. The shell, well, it's not that flattering, although it would be fun to be able to fly, even if you had a turtle butt.
http://CLineCreations.blogspot.com/ Jess

Tortachelle – clearly the newest trend. Love it.

Can't really say much for the hat though. Maybe in 2011, you're ahead of your time.
buggys

When you wear that hat you need have no fear that it makes your butt look big, in fact I would be prompted to say….what butt?
http://www.cheripryor.blogspot.com/ Cheri

I have no words…only a question: WHERE CAN I GET ONE??
scrapendipity

It started with the blog title. I knew it was the perfect place for me. Fabulous blog….what a freakin' crack up! Love the new outfit. The salesgirl was right.

Shar
scrapendipity

p.s. I have a blog but there was no field to enter the url. ??? in case you're interested http://scrapendipity.blogspot.com
http://speedcathollydale.blogspot.com Speedcat Hollydale

AWESOME pants photo
windsorgrace

I really love the pants. We have something like that at our zoo, but you have to get on it. So, if you're wearing it as pants, I guess you would be kind of naked.
http://wmljshewbridge.blogspot.com/ Lorie Shewbridge

You are so funny… You definitely need to have a shopping partner when you go! Although the hat complements your skin tone nicely!
http://www.nicecargames.com Car Games

I think it's TOTALLY chic! I hear the tortoise-shell/hyena-ears are in vogue this season.