Well, that doesn’t really capture the chaos, does it?
Meanwhile, a bug, the likes of which I’ve never seen before, decides to make his presence known. I don’t do bugs well. I can’t negotiate the downtown freeway interchange if I’m preoccupied with a live bug in the car. Plus, I already know I have to blog about this so now I have to take pictures of the event, so I bust out my camera and start with the lame picture above, you know, to give you a sense of scene.
Can’t use my Gladys Tells All travel mug – there’s still coffee in it. My laptop might not be the best thing either. So I pull out the most replaceable, yet sturdiest object and start whacking away at the dashboard with a camera between my legs and a freeway interchange ramp under my wheels – Wheeeeeeeee!
I manage to kill the bug while staying alive on the road. AND while responsibly using my blinkers.
Fifteen minutes later, I reach my doctor’s office where I bust out the camera once again to get a shot of the criminal who couldn’t hide in the backseat and simply wait it out and escape when I opened my door.
So what the heck is this thing, anyway? And yes, he’s dead. Of blunt force trauma with a yellow notepad.
I swear, the things I do for you people.
Holy eewwwww! I'm usually relatively Zen and kumbaya about bugs, even in the car, but that thing looks like it came from a sci fi movie! :S
I am all for the murder of bugs.
The chickens eat bugs. Hundreds of them.
This is why I tolerate the chickens.
But I now wonder about eating said chickens…..
You are a blogger extraordinaire!
It looks like you broked his back! Or, I guess, his exoskeleton…
ROFL!!! I am so glad you survived the bug attack and the freeway simultaneously!! A great feat for sure!! Congrats! And I haven't a clue as to what that bug is…but I can tell…HE IS DEAD!! LOL!!
Hugs
SueAnn
All those instructions you gave at the start obviously don't apply to you because you could do all that AND annihilate a bug. You are a badass and you should also be a driving instructor. I'm duly impressed.
SPLAT!
Holy shit, I dunno what that thing is. I'm glad it's dead though.
ROFLMPatootieO
Poor thing…
I can see your mugshot now!
I can't figure out how to type the sound I made when I saw that bug. “Blech” doesn't even come close! -shudder- I hate bugs. My cats used to eat bugs, but now they're spoiled. Luckily we seldom have BIG bugs. I'm glad you survived!
Nice work!
I appreciate the effort – really I do – but you might find it easier next time to open a window and let the bug out. (Not that I'm a PETA rep objecting to the murder of a nasty bug… I'm just thinking that you've got enough to deal with on that freeway.)
Poor little harmless Crane Fly! Geez, you city folks are ninnies. Our is that “Ninnies In Panties”. [giggle]
How big is he? He looks like he could take on Godzilla… or perhaps it's just a lack of perspective? Otherwise, he could be mosquitoesque.
Thanks for doing that for us people. I am happy you are still alive!
OMG, I just snorted soda up my nose! You are hysterical.
I'll be laughing about this all day.
Thanks,
xo
This reminded me of an old joke.
Q. What's the last thing to go thru a bug's mind when he hits your windshild at 60 MPH?
A. His ass!
Imagine its a spider that just dropped down thru your peripreral vision, beside your face and no adorable Coach tote loaded w/ weapons.
If only I had a camera.
BTW, Robyn's joke is one of my faves!
I am dying laughing reading this. And I LOVE your purse!
I have NO IDEA what kind of bug that is, and I dont think I want to! It looks pre-historic!
Zowie! Makes you wonder how many people have perished in unexplained, fiery wrecks after swatting at a misplaced bee or spider?
Zowie! Makes you wonder how many people have perished in unexplained, fiery wrecks after swatting at a misplace bee or spider.
i hope you didn't take that picture while you were driving….but not texting
You know your a blogger when you risk life and limb to murder the intruder who gets in your space while traveling a super busy highway and you look for your camera so you can document it for your BLOG! Fruit fly maybe?
Have a great day, ya'll!!!
Oh so funny!! Love that you are thinking about blogging when there's a bug in your car! I can't even drive let alone think of anything else when there's a bug by me. I can only scream and try not to kill anyone else. Good job! Saw you on SITS!
Why is it that the largest, most grotesque bugs always hunt humans down when they are stuck in their vehicles??!!! Glad you survived!
Nanny! YOU can teach me how to drive!
My parents refuse.
It looks like one of those really creepy-but-harmless mosquito eater thingys. I think you took out one of the good guys. Although, it was rude of him to try to hitch a ride with you without even asking.
I always find that simply opening a window (especially at high speeds) invites the buggy to fly away. Works about 90 per cent of the time and no murder.
You know what? You're absolutely right. I'm not sure why I didn't even think of that. I've done it before. It's not like it was raining or anything. Maybe I was recently playing a violent videogame and was brainwashed into KILL mode. Regardless, I'm glad you brought that up, because that sounds a lot safer, actually.
A Crane Fly? Is that what that Mothra monster was? I didn't know Crane Flies could be the size of pianos.
I'm smacking myself because 2 seconds ago, I used the reference to Mothra. So now I'm wondering if my 3rd and 4th eye saw your comment before I had a chance to respond to the previous one. Because now I look stupid. Because YOU actually made the joke first. So thank you for that.
Yes, and that's one of my favorites! And I'll prove it: Read this (see 2nd paragraph)
I don't think it's really dead until you put its head on a toothpick and leave it on your dashboard as a warning to others.
Oh, CatLady, I like how you think.
I wish I'd thought of that at the time, onedia! Could have saved myself some stress, not to mention the little bug's life.
Well he sure doesn't look happy now! That's quite an uncomfortable looking pose. You did a good job of killing that but without making a big goopy mess on your dashboard.
Um. I don't do bugs either so I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see that picture. It has been wiped from my memory banks. I like how you documented the scene. Most murderers aren't that considerate. Are you SURE it's dead?
LOL – GMTA!
You have bugs in winter! I am so jealous. I can't even see the freeway for all the ice and snow. I'd love to have bug spooge on my windshield (the outside part). It looks like one of the mosquitoes we have up here, massive buggers.
Two interesting texts I recieved this weekend.
1. “I can't get that NGIP out of my head”
2. “I'm going to have to kill you for showing me that damn Nanny Goats in Panties blog”
Oh – and I meant to tell you that I am TRYING to write funny stuff on my blog, I just don't seem to have quite the right mindset though – but again, I'm trying. See today's Snow Turds
Your blog inspires me to give it shot
http://www.robynsonlineworld.com/2010/01/snow-t...
What a hair-raising story ! And not even the shadow of a goat in sight ! And clearly you are not one to trifle with !
yuck I hate bugs too …. you're a brave woman for killing that bug while making the 50 to 99 cross over!
Wow! Someone's going to kill you because of me? How flattering! And also potentially another slight case of … muhduhhhhh. (That was supposed to be Hitchcock saying “murder”, but I'm not sure if got the accent right.)
Not when I'm armed with a yellow notepad, pal! I'm like Quick Draw McGraw with the stenopad.
woww,, I feel much safer now. thank you for saving me from whatever that is. btw, it kinda looks like a skeeter. if it is, double thank yous to yous'
And we appreciate all you do for us. Really. We do.
Love your Snow Turds post! Do you think there's a market for toilet paper for snowmen?
Hey I SEE MY MUG!!!! I AM SOMEBODY!!! MY GLADYS MUG RIGHT THERE IN YOUR MUG HOLDER.
Aw, look at his little mangled legs…glad you're ok. You sure showed him!
Murderer. I'll be looking for you on the post office wall. ROFL!!
That was hilarious! I'm so glad that I'm not the only crazy woman out there risking life, limb and innocent yellow notepads for fear of getting killed by a maniacal bug. I felt your fear in this blog post SITSta. I'm so glad you made it out of there alive!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I remember visiting you for the first time when you were chosen as the FB on SITS!
Kristi, Hello…Is This On?
@TweetingMama
I think you may have nabbed the dreaded glassy winged sharpshooter!! Wineries across the state thank you!
Yes! And I apologize profusely for not mentioning it. I should just go back and edit that.
You should have had a cat in the car – a kitty would have been more than happy to kill (and consume) the bug, while you would continue driving in relative peace.
Okay, maybe that would not be so peaceful.
What until his friends and family find out. You'll be surrounded.
Wow! I sure hope you do not come back in another life as a bug and find you have the misfortune of being in some nanny goat car!!
I don't believe in reincarnation, btw, but I could be wrong!
Thanks for the morning laugh. My daughters would be screaming with a bug in the car. That sucker looks like he could have bitten you. I think it was a good kill and I'm glad you didn't get in a car accident.
Oh my, they should give an autopsy to discover the true cause of death. Perhaps the trauma was just secondary.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I can relate to this homicide. Justifiable too. I've navigated that exchange many times and you are right…it's a humdinger and you have to pay very close attention. I live in the central valley by the way. We are neighbors.
Have a terrific day.
That bug has a lot of bad juju. It's good you got him before he got you – or nested inside your Coach bag. I think the scientific name is Bejeebers – because they scare them out of you.
HiLaRiOuS!!! All the danger yet you took at least one hand off the wheel to snap a photo. Now, that's good journalism.
Happy that it all worked out in the end! And I am for all about taking down the bugs!
Bugs in winter! Oh, the horror. This is one advantage to Canadian winters.
It might not have been peaceful to have a cat in the car, but think of the beauty of a blog post I could have gotten out of that! Had I survived it, of course.
Cindy – I fully expect to come back as a bug in my next life as I have built up much bad karma killing so many of them. At least it will be a short life and I can go on to being a cute little bunny in the life after that.
Sweet! Howdy, neighbor!
Too funny! I think you can get off on justifiable homicide.
That thing is ugly and scary! EEEWWW!!!!
Ew GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
At least it wasn't a bee. Have you ever been trapped in a car while a bee was trying to kill you? THAT is distraction.
But I, for one, do really appreciate your taking the pictures. It makes the story so much more exciting.
MURDERER!
wow. He looks dangerous, and not only that, he's ugly too. Glad you offed him.
You did all that and drove the freeway…wow you are something!!!
Don't worry Nanny G I don't do bugs either. In fact I'm the biggest girl when it comes to bugs. THE BIGGEST.
Personally, I'm most fond of the notion that the bug is only slightly murdered. (And you didn't even have to risk life and limb taking photos while driving for that part!)
eeuw gross, that bug is seriously weird looking.
I would have peed my pants if it was in my car!
That's terrifying. Thank god you had your trusty yellow notepad.
I wonder, since the rise of blogging a few years ago, if there has been an increase in traffic accidents due to just this kind of post…
We appreciate the things you do for us.
Also, thank god you survived. I'd have to say that while you might have committed murder, you'll certainly get off on a self-defense plea.
I think you'll get off on this one! Too funny. Just to let you know…I am an idiot. I keep coming to your site for a week thinking wow she hasn't posted, oh well. I had you saved(default) as the Resolutions post. So, now I realize I've missed all these post and need to read back for a week of posts! Forgive me?