We here at Nanny Goats in Panties — and when I say “we”, I am of course referring to me and my lion slippers:
Rawr!
Anyway, at NGIP, we take great care in bringing you fabulous content, and we do our best to keep it clean, profanity-wise. However, it has recently come to our attention that Amazon begs to differ, as evidenced by my profile:
Now, I don’t know if Amazon’s auto censorship bot is bristling over the word “Humor” or “Kindle”, but it’s this kind of prudishness that is stifling some of the blogosphere’s most inspiring creativity. I have a good mind to organize a Blogger’s March on Washington. You know, free speech, right to bear arms (or in my case, bare lionhead-clad legs), that sort of thing.
I know my rights! OK, I don’t really know my rights. It’s the criminals that always seem to know their rights. At least on TV. If I ever got arrested, I wouldn’t have any idea what the cops are allowed to cajole out of me without a lawyer present. I would just tell them whatever they wanted to know, thinking I’m an honest person and telling them the truth is the right thing to do. But no, that’s the wrong thing to do. You are screwing yourself talking to the fuzz and I think you’re supposed to ask for a lawyer the second they start asking you questions. But I don’t have a lawyer. On TV, people always seem to have lawyers, appearing out of nowhere after the commercial break telling their client they don’t have to answer this question or that question.
Also, the police could probably come to my house and case the joint, and I wouldn’t think to ask to see a search warrant, because I’m afraid of authority. I’m thinking this kind of thing should be taught in school, like Home Ec, or Woodshop. They could call it Excuse Me, Officer 101.
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, the profanity thing. I’m not through with Amazon. I believe the American thing to do is get all huffy and go on national television a la That Newdow Guy who claims his rights are being violated approximately every 16 months or so. Imagine my talking head on Fox News with Gloria Allred, my attorney (because by then I will have figured out how to have an attorney and have a big one, at that) getting all self-righteous on national television. And then Bill O’Reilly will ask if viewers can go somewhere for more information and I will say, with confidence, “Yes, they can go to Nanny Goats in P-BLEEEEEEEEEEEP“. I mean, they’ll have to pixelate my mouth and everything because you don’t want America’s children being exposed to such vulgarity.
Hey, could you be a doll and click this Sacramento Top 25 link to keep NGIP “up there” in the rankings? Just the click, nothing else. Thanks, man!
