Do you ever go to a wedding and judge everything about it? Suddenly you’re an event planner, criticizing everything, knowing you could have done it better. You look at the stringed popcorn hanging from the walls, or the cocktail weenies served with miniature toothpick flags that say ‘Eat me!’, or the pet goat acting as ring bearer and think: how tacky.
We attended a wedding in Solvang over the weekend and maybe you can tell me just what the coordinator (if they even had one) was thinking.
First we arrived near the groom parent’s house where a team of valet guys swiped our cars and we were golfcarted up the hill…
On the way I noticed they had set up a tent or two in the backyard. Tents! As if, we were going to some campfire hoe-down.
And as we waited for the ceremony to begin, I was so bored, what with the 200+ people, the catered refreshments, the live band, and the view of nothing but rocks.
During the ceremony all I could think about was how these two poor people were getting married in his parent’s driveway. I mean honestly! Who does that?
And whose idea was it to have indoor furniture outside? How inappropriate is that? Never mind the fact that someone had set the coffee table on fire. Barbarians!
Well, the reception was no better, what with those 30-foot long centerpieces constantly getting in the way.
Apples and pomegranates all over the table. You’re probably wondering if that fruit was real. Oh yeah, they were real. And they were spectacular.
And all the interruptions during dinner! Hula dancers? Really? I’m trying eat here, people!
Also? We peasants weren’t allowed to use the bathroom inside the house. No, we had to use the porta pottys.
I know! Gross, right?
And who can’t be bothered to make a tiered wedding cake? I swear this country is going to hell in a hand basket.
Boy, talk about low-class. I don’t know, what do you think? Am I being too harsh?
Not to brag or anything, but I got about a million awards this week, and I’d like to thank some people for bestowing them upon yours truly.
Thanks to Dawn of Peeling an Orange With a Screwdriver for this one.
Thank you Angela’s Soliloquy, Shhh…don’t tell the kids I’m here, and Growing Up…Townsend Style.
Thank you Badger Momma!
