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I Was a Little Bit Country Once

I normally can’t stand music on people’s blogs that suddenly scare the bajeezuz out of you because you forgot to turn it down last night after watching some stupid crappy YouTube video of a man in green lederhosen singing The Hills Are Alive. But I stumbled onto Glamour Girl’s blog the other day and Dixieland Delight by Alabama began to play, taking me back to my Country Music stage of life.

In the mid-1980s, during college, I worked part-time for a country music radio station in Sacramento. Perhaps some of you remember KRAK 1140 AM, or KK105 FM. The DJs had names like Joey Mitchell (who ran the morning show for 20 years, and received Billboard Magazine’s Best Country DJ award in 1988), and Big Jim Hall .

circa 1985

A few years later, when I first moved to Southern California, and was looking for a way to “get into” the L.A. scene, I tried country music dancing at a place called Denim & Diamonds. Because when you think of Los Angeles, aren’t cowboy boots and Garth Brooks the first things that comes to your mind?

Granted, line dancing in California was a fad back then, so L.A. treated it like one, scooping it up, milking it for all it was worth, and then dumping it on the side of the road like an avocado-colored refrigerator.

Country music fans are some of the most red-blooded, down-to-earth Americans you’ll find and somehow, Santa Monica managed to glean the Ferrari-driving, the bling-wearing, and the most painfully fashionable western clothing-donning supermodels alive to perform on the dance floor.

It was disgusting. Yet, there I was, Neon Moon-ing it on Saturday nights with the big-haired and mini-skirted in my generic T-shirt and blue jeans.

You might be asking, “what…the hell… was wrong with you?” Don’t worry I got a little better the next year and began playing beach volleyball (although it took me another year before I would take off my shorts in public because even though I was healthily fit – everybody else was bonily fit. I had played college volleyball, indoors, and had eaten real food (cheeseburgers and fries and spaghetti and burritos – you know, college food), and all the girls were “healthy” so my caboose didn’t look so big compared to my teammates. But surround yourself with a bunch of girls in bikinis on a Southern California beach and you suddenly feel like a hippo. A hippo with an unhealthy body image. I had a non-anorexic behind. Think Jennifer Lopez. Five minutes after she had the twins.

But I didn’t come here to talk about my ass, I came here to talk about that OTHER Dixieland Delight – my brief career in country music.

The California State Fair opened this last weekend in Sacramento and it goes for two weeks. When I worked for KRAK radio, they’d haul their mobile studios to Cal Expo every year for the State Fair and park near the exhibit buildings. The mobile studio was an RV, filled with radio equipment and a back window that would open to expose the DJ to the public so that fans could stand and stare at them. My job was to stand out in the 100+ degree heat all day in a black KRAK T-shirt, doling out bumper stickers, T-shirts and the occasional cowboy hat, while the DJ’s sat in the air-conditioned RV doling out George Strait, Randy Travis and the occasional Reba McIntyre.

When I wasn’t working remote broadcasts all over town and then some, I was at the station calling random Sacramento residents at home. I’d call a number and say, “Hi, this is Margaret from ABC Programming and we’re just taking a survey to find out what radio stations you listen to.” Those first seven words were carefully crafted by scientific studies and research, along with only hiring women, all to increase the chances of being better received by the poor schmuck unlucky enough to pick up the phone. We couldn’t tell them that we worked for the radio station, it would sort of ruin the survey.

But it worked! These people would actually answer me. If they listened to a country music station, then I’d ask them if I could play some songs for them so they could rate them. And they would do it! They seemed to enjoy it as well, listening to music and telling me if they liked it, didn’t like it, somewhat liked it, loved it, etc. Today, you couldn’t get out a “Hello Sir or Madam, this is ABC Programming calling for -” before you heard the distinct “CLICK!” and dial-toney “Brrrrrrrrrrrr!” in your ear.

But this was the 80′s. Before we had things called “telemarketers” calling us at dinner time. It was also when real people called you, not the autobots who seem to insist on a daily basis that the warranty on my car is about to expire. And we were nice, we didn’t start demanding to know why they didn’t listen to country music and what would it take to get them to buy a Dwight Yoakam album TODAY!?

Anyway, here is a crappy quality video of Dixieland Delight by Alabama. I’ve included it here for your reference, not your opinion. Although if you want to tell me or NEED to tell me if you like it, somewhat like it, somewhat dislike it or hate it, knock yourself out.

frilly pink panties


Coconut Queen (iWin.com) Gets Awesome Reviews!

If you’re just joining us, I wrote the story (and other content) for a new video game called Coconut Queen by iWin.com.

If you’re not just joining us, Coconut Queen is getting FANTASTIC reviews! Including comments about how funny the story line is – YAY!

In fact, if you go to iWin’s Home Page, and look at their Top 10 List, Coconut Queen is their #1 game right now.

You can see the reviews (and download the game for a free trial) HERE and HERE.

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