Thanks to a new thing called WiMax, if you live in Baltimore, MD, you can now surf the internet from your laptop while riding on your donkey. Well that’s just great. Because are they going to be rolling this service out to Sacramento or Los Angeles any time soon? No.
So how does this news help us? It doesn’t. We will continue to ride our donkeys without the benefit of such fancy schmancy internet service. We will be losing market share in an extremely competitive environment on our donkeys as we travel back and forth to business meetings, trying to land that merger deal with the picky client who only drinks skinny no-whip lattes, while stupid Baltimoreans have already sealed it while on their donkeys before they even get to the office.
Stupid Baltimoreans.
BaltiMORONS, I say.
Well, who needs it anyway! It’s not like I wanted it. In fact, if we’re not going to get it, I don’t want to hear about it. I do not need this kind of information shoved in my face. What is this, grape juice? It’s sour. Take it away.
“Hear ye, hear ye! We are making hot fudge sundaes for everyone! It’s all-you-can-eat sundaes day and night. We’re open 24 hours. It’s so convenient. It’s so yummy. Come and get it!
Except you.”
Well, they can kiss my lily white frackenweiler. I’m not interested. And you know why? Because it costs like $35 per month for the service. Now, if you are already paying monthly fees for interent service for, say, two different homes AND your phone, why would you pay again? Besides, that’s what FREE Wifi is for.
Also? I can get free mobile WiFi anytime I want. I just have to ride the LAX Flyaway shuttle all day. Here’s me and my laptop while cruising down Sepulveda Boulevard coming back from the airport:
At four bucks a ride, it’s faster than the bus, about forty bucks cheaper than a taxi and you get free internet access – woo hoo!
* * *
PLEASE VOTE FOR ME!
The competition is getting fierce for Humor Blogger of the Year Award. This is a new round of voting. Voting is now by category. Nanny Goats in Panties is in the Personal Life category. If you voted for me before, it’s time to cast a vote again. If you haven’t voted for me before, please do it now. Just click on the button below and vote for Nanny Goats in Panties. No registration required. Just one click. Thank you so much for your support.
* * *
I am honored to receive the Kreative Blogger Award from Carrie at Oikology 101. And if you don’t know what Oikology is, you have to go over and find out.
I just voted!
Well I need to know what your plans are once you become Humor Blogger of the Year. Are you going to raise my taxes? How do you feel about socialism?
What the heck?! THey’re making people PAY for this service. What if you don’t even have a computer? Something seems wrong with that.
I can’t believe you actually mentioned your “lily white frackenweiler.”
I have no choice now but to change your blog rating from the family-friendly FB (Funny/Bitter) to PMTT (Potty Mouth/Trash Talk).
I mean, what if a child happened upon this post?
I, for one, am shocked. Truly shocked.
It is nice to see someone who wants to win at something they work hard for. You are currently winning….congrats.
(I did vote for you.)
Oh, where have you been all my life?
Thanks for stopping by Lulaville. I will be back here soon…’cause you are just good people. I can tell.
You got my vote. Crossing my fingers
Your Welcome
Hi
PS since you are using JS Kit for your comments anyway you should consider adding CommentLuv too. Check it out at http://www.CommentLuv.com
Isn’t the shuttle smellier than a donkey?
haha! I just drive a couple minutes to Ventura Blvd and park next to a coffee shop. I get the comfort of my own car, as well as free internet!
All right already, I voted for you. Again. Just like before. Gheez, you made it sound like it was neck and neck but you’ve got twice as many votes as your nearest competitor. I hope all us voters get something out of it, like Goat Cheese or personalized NG panties.
Voted! And looks like you’re winning by a mile!
…if i only had a laptop… 😀
Sweet, now if I move to Baltimore I will no longer have to hand-crank my internet. That especially sucks in the winter.
PS- Thanks for being my first follower. 2 thumbs up for gaining popularity. And as for the roller, you just roll your body across it..in my house, it is commonly referred to as the “masochistic foam phallus of death”
I live in California and until April this year, I was still on dial up but thanks to Satellite my internet is now reaching sloth speed instead of snail. The final straw came when I had to sit outside Safeway at 9pm at night, hooked onto their internet to send files to a client. My in laws who live in the middle of nowhere in France still can’t get over the fact that we live in the greatest country in the world and have the slowest internet speed ever.
It’s taken me an hour just to send this post by sloth.
“Sepulveda” has always sounded like a skin condition to me. “Yeah, the doc said I had sepulveda all over my back.” Heh, I like saying that. Sepulveda sepulveda sepulveda.
Yup. Kiss my lily white frackenweiler. Neener neener neener, Baltimore.
Cheer up – you’ve got a better chance of getting WiMax in California than I do in Podunk, Ohio. We’re lucky we’ve got electricity.
…grumble, grumble, grumble…
You’ll have to excuse me – the severe hormonal imbalance they tell me I have (they keep calling it “mental-pause”) coupled with the fact that two of the Southern blogs I read are featuring An Ode to Real Mexican Food and A Recipe for Cornbread That Will Make You Cry – has me in something of a state of resentment for my exile to the Great White North.
Now you tell me no WiMax for my ass. Life is just CRUEL.
I voted Nanny! I voted… now can you please make Bunco next week?
Funny stuff…and if you’re riding to work on a donkey…you probably have bigger issues than internet service can fix.
Oh and yes the George Clooney move was that one!
(sheeesh how the hell should I know…if I actually watched his movies I’d probably keep the darn picture lol)
Guess who happens to live in Baltimore??
Suck on that!!
“Well, they can kiss my lily white frackenweiler.”
BRILLIANT!
*Los Angeles Donkeys for the Internet! — Or at the very least, Los Angeles Asses for the Internet* …um yeah, I got nothin’.
done and done
I’m seriously considering going back to dial up…and possibly purchasing a jitterbug.
Technology has biting us in the @$$ lately.
You are too funny! Do you think they’ll be offering that service in Florida any time soon. I was thinking of getting an iSaddle for my donkey.
i want that. now. i mean i already DO have internet in two houses and on the iphone, but still…
smiles, bee
xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Does it only work on donkeys? What about on mules???
I voted fer yew! Cuz yew ro-ock, Nanny.
Congrats on your award, but I think you sort of lost me hear. Are we talkin’ about goats or donkeys? Grape juice, hot fudge sundaes or Internet service?! You’re just making me hungry.
Lily white frackenweiler?? That is fricken hilarious! Or should I say “fracken” hilarious…I am so punny sometimes, I kill me. *chortle*
I voted for you! I hope you win!
p.s. You also can sit outside of coffee shops in your car and access, as I have done on many occasions since cutting my data plan on my phone. heehee I just bring my own coffee and I don’t even have to unstrap the midget from the carseat! Hoo-ray!
p.s. Thanks for the link love. MWAH!
I voted and you’re doing well!
I’d LOVE that.. if only I had a donkey to ride… Dang.
I’m just worried about the donkeys. Are they being treated humanely?
One can only hope.
i won an hour of free wi-fi at mcdonald’s – if you want it, its yours! haha
you got my vote 🙂
If enough Phoenicians move to Baltimore, they will offer it in Phoenix. Yea right. Move from Phoenix to Baltimore. Thats not gonna happen.
I just voted. ‘Twas easy with the no registering needed! I hope EVERYONE votes! 😀
What the hell….are you serious!!! That had me laughing out loud. Of course it’s only offered there but it’s broadcast to the entire country. As if we would be all excited for them. I don’t need it, I get free internet service on my verizon cell anywhere anytime. 🙂
I voted for you!!!! Hope you win!!