Can Goats Get Catty? Yes We Can.

I’m not bitter or anything, but I think the deck is stacked against you if a beauty pageant is hosted in a foreign country.

While I was honored to have participated as America’s representative in the Most Beautiful Goat Competition held this past weekend in some middle eastern country, I found their integrity regarding pageant rules dubious at best.

First of all, this one fellow competitor (as we were not properly introduced, I will simply call her ‘Ho-Bag’) shook her fuzzy tush at the judges during every portion of the pageant. Now, everyone knows what a prude I am, so my ruffled 100% organic cotton nanny goat panties covered me from head to hoof. And of course you all know by now the controversy over underage goats slipping past the International Goat Beauty Pageant Qualification Committee.

Anyway, this adolescent slut galloped off the stage and as she passed me, I was all, “everyone knows you use double-stick tape” and she was all, “Yeah? Well your friend, Billy, told me you were a lousy bleater”.

So I kicked her. Right in the thigh. And she cried, “Why ME? Why ME? Why, why, why?” She wailed and belly-ached like a kid.

Bitch still walked away with first place.

Here she is shaking her thang at the judges one last time during the finals:

(Photo courtesy of Reuters via Telegraph)

I’d like to thank Eve and Kat for sending me the information on this event and I apologize for the lack of camera coverage when I briefly took the stage for the talent competition (I eat a full-length trench coat in under a minute), but I think I had already been herded out of the arena by the time the above photo was taken.

http://scargosun.blogspot.com/ Scargosun

I think I just ruined another monitor with spit coffee.
http://www.ken-weiw.bogspot.com Ken Geraths

You are simply the best Nanny, You have no equal.
http://flowergirlstutus.blogspot.com/ Jenn

wow! a trench coat in under a minute? now that is one awesome talent! I can’t believe they let a beautiful and talented goat like you not win, but you know how those young upstart goats are. I bet she can’t eat a trench coat in under a minute.
http://threeboys1mommy.blogspot.com/ 3boys1mommy

Ho-Bag deserves a shot of pepper spray to the face, a la Ms. Puerto Rico.
http://wantedgoodhome.blogspot.com/ Alyson

Slut.
Give her six months…she’ll be de-crowned, in rehab and begging for a second chance.
http://www.mydogumentary.wordpress.com gingela5

That is one beautiful goat. I wonder if Donald Trump was in charge of this pageant!
http://www.dennisandleslie.blogspot.com Leslie

OMG, that’s hilarious! What a bitch!
http://janefay.blogspot.com/ jane!

Must’ve been rigged. That chick totally needs a nose job!
http://suburbsanity.blogspot.com/ debbie

You were so robbed! Well, there’s always next year.
http://theblueridgegal.blogspot.com/ Di

Ya, but how’d she do in the talent competition? Can she play flute?? Huh, huh… that’s what I wanna know…
http://viewfromtheshortbus.blogspot.com HeatherPride

Best thing I’ve seen all day!
http://oikology101.blogspot.com Carrie

I’m just wondering what they do with the goats afterwards?
Reminds me of “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, but were Afraid to Ask,” but that was about sheep, not goats.
If you haven’t seen the movie, you can find the scene on YouTube. If you’d like to be disturbed, that is…
http://witsbitch.blogspot.com chat blanc

scandalous! you was wobbed!
http://oikology101.blogspot.com Carrie

Just wondering what they do with the goats after the competition.
Kind of reminds me of the Woody Allen Movie, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, but Were Afraid to Ask,” but that was a sheep, not a goat.
If you haven’t seen it you can find it on YouTube by searching Gene Wilder Sheep. Enjoy peeps, and you’re welcome. hahaha
http://oikology101.blogspot.com Carrie

Okay, Haloscan was all messed up and I thought it ate my comment. Oops!
http://www.beckypaplanus.blogspot.com Becky

That was downright HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
I totally snorted from laughing so hard. You always know how to make me smile and laugh.
http://www.shoutdaily.com Tricia

Next time, kick her harder. That nose can take a few.
http://www.nanadiaries.com Nana

Okay, you officially win the hysterical blog of the week (again!).
Love ya, Nanny,
Nana
http://www.nanadiaries.com
http://www.quirkyloon.com quirkyloon

Yeah, but she’ll probably shave her head and her body in no time.
She’ll get hers, don’t you worry.
(still laughing)
http://www.cupofsnarky.com AngieSS

Hahaha Dude, it is so obvious she slept with all the judges to win… Whore! You are still the most beautiful to me — big granny panties and all!
http://www.barefootfoodie.com Brittany

Oh man, why is it goats can only get fair treatment on their home turf these days.
http://www.nooterthedog.com Nooter

(sniff) (sniff)
http://deathintheballroom.blogspot.com/ Margo

Lol this was great and I love the name of your blog!
http://www.lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com Anna Lefler

Wait – isn’t Kim Kardashian a brunette?
http://coffeejitters.blogspot.com judy haley (coffeejitters)

she looks like she had a nose job anyways.
http://blickykitty.blogspot.com/ Blicky Kitty

I heard she had her utters done. You can totally tell those things are fake. She also sticks her hoof down her throat if she eats too much grass.
http://velocibadgergirl.blogspot.com velocibadgergirl

You were robbed! ROBBED!
http://myloonyverse.com Dddiva

Bwahahahaha too funny. Dang, even a goat can’t get a fair shake, what the heck is the world coming to.
You totally rocked it, nanny, that ho-bag couldn’t have won on talent alone.
http://www.dailymuskrat.com muskrat

that’s okay, they’ll just send this thing to the naval academy where it’ll be “tailhooked” day and night for the rest of the year.
http://www.blackbettysbizkits.wordpress.com black betty

what a heffa! i mean, jezzabelle!!!
http://momjeansblogger.blogspot.com/ kirsten

Hilarious!!!
I see what you mean. What happens when that bitch gains loses her looks? She’s still a bitch!
http://www.lifeinkathmandu.blogspot.com Laurel

You were robbed I tell ya!
http://www.jbsitedesigns.com Jan

Well, now see, your problem is that you didn’t saunter up and down the catwalk chanting, “I’m too sexy for my wool, too sexy for my wool, too sex-eeeee…”
It’s all mental, you know.
http://www.dennisthevizsla.com Dennis the Vizsla

“On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk …”
http://ytfe.blogspot.com/ LarryG

Your blog gives me a chuckle every time I see the name of it…
then to see this post! TOO HILARIOUS!!! thank you – what the world needs now is laughs sweet laughs!
http://hyggedigter.blogspot.com Poetikat

What’s so special about a Roman nose anyhow? Look what happened to Julius.
Kat
http://aubsfamfive.blogspot.com/ Aubrey

I think she used Kim Kardashian’s butt implant surgeon. Goaty’s Got Back!
http://nikkicrumpet.blogspot.com Nikkicrumpet

Where those judges blind? Didn’t they notice the HUGE schnoz on that shegoat. I think she was inbred.
http://www.lillyslife.com Lilly

You may be like to know that I have a very interesting photos of the said Ho-Bag with a black sheep doing some rather ingenious tricks. Personally, I think they should get worldwide coverage so that the whole goat loving public get to know who the real ho-bag is…..
http://cherylstjohn.blogspot.com/ Cheryl St.John

I visted your blog the other day, too – because I saw it on the BlogHer sidebar! Your blogs are a stitch! In fact I posted a link to the gals at Petticoats and Pistols.
Thank you for stopping by my blog!
http://cherylstjohn.blogspot.com/ Cheryl St.John

Oh, and thank you for the compliment on my banner. I took the photo myself.
http://dontforgettoflush.blogspot.com Jen – Queen of Poo

What a skanktard! There is no justice.
http://www.KrunkMode.com Jayson Cole

Dangggg! I want some of that! I bet her milk taste sweet!
http://www.jennygardiner.net jenny gardiner

Ha! You are one hot goat and I’m most impressed with the talent part of your competition–trenchcoat in under a minute? Pretty fabulous.
http://texaswordtangle.blogspot.com Rhea

Glad you kicked that biotch. Cheaters aren’t cool.
http://korfforiginals.blogspot.com Lynn K.

<(‘(..)’)>
http://AuthoringAuctioneer.com John J Savo, the Authoring Auc

And we buy oil from these people and let them push us around… Christ!
http://taleofakansasgirl.blogspot.com Ronnica

I know this post is like forever old and all (I’ve allowed real life to get in the way of my bloggy life…so sue me; no, you can’t have my full name and address), but I laughed hard at the title. “Yes we can” on the day after the election? Priceless.