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10 Alternative Uses for Shelf Liner

Earlier today, while I was licking chocolate pudding off the kitchen floor (don’t judge me, you do gross stuff, too) I happened to catch a peek at both my dining room chairs and the cabinet floor under the kitchen sink.

Holy peaches and blueberries! They have the same pattern. Why hadn’t I noticed that before?

Have you ever bought way too much shelf liner, or halfway through your WhatWereYouThinking project of lining each and every shelf in the kitchen and bathroom, you just sort of lost interest, vowing to come back later and finish it, but never get around to it? And then 7 years later, you find the leftover shelf liner in the closet, but you don’t have the heart (or the ethics) to throw it away?

Does your shelf have too much shelf liner?

Well, it’s a good thing you came by Nanny Goats In Panties today, because for you, I channeled my inner Martha Stewart and will now demonstrate ten creative alternative uses for that roll of floral or plaid source of inner nagging.

1. Spruce up your ugly, outdated counter top with this handy water jug cozy.

2. Spruce up your ugly, outdated floor tile with this trash receptacle decorative wrap.

3. Give your vacuum cleaner that much-needed pizazz to compete with the noisy motor that sends the kitties (and the silverfish) scattering.

4. Tuck away those inappropriate videos behind this artful coverpiece. For extra wholesome kudos, place a bible on the top to keep that cover from accidentally slipping off when Father Murphy comes round for tea.

5. Nothing says, “Come on in and sit for a spell” more than this adorable toilet seat lid cover.

6.  For a festive look, have your maid include this fruity TP roll touch-up during her daily rounds. Keep extras in the bathroom drawer in case Uncle Charlie who is famous for helping himself to the decorative bath soaps stops by.

7. You know how they have seat fillers for the Academy Awards so the theatre doesn’t look empty while celebrities are back stage? Well, now you can use towel fillers while your launderess is busying herself with the washing machine.

8.   They say it’s the window treatments that sell the house. Well my realtor says that, anyway.

9.  By now, you should be getting to the end of the roll. If you have some shelf liner left, and still can’t bring yourself to throw those silly scraps away, try tying a fun little bow onto the toilet flush handle. This is great for the potty-in-training kiddies who can’t reach that high.

10. Still have some left? Great! Take a couple of strips out on the town in your favorite dancing shoes! Don’t be surprised if you are approached by many admirers asking you where you got that awesome footwear!

Anybody whose atrocious math resulted in overbuying shelf liner to the point that you still have it coming out of your ears, I have two words for you:  cigar bands.

You’re welcome.

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176 Comments

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  3. Jazzspirit87 says:

    Haha wonderful!

  4. Barb says:

    That's what I should do when I see too much stuff stacked up in corners and cubby holes… turn it into a funny blog post! And as soon as I get a maid I'll have her include the TP cover!

  5. Nutrimill says:

    Wow, it started out so believably… I think I finally lost it with the toilet paper roll…

  6. Suldog says:

    Yes, it works on old grumpy bald farts. It makes wicked awesome toupees. I'm wearing one now!

    (Sorry, shouldn't have hijacked the comments section. This is funny stuff, indeed. Glad I found you via Eddie's roasting.)

  7. Pouty Lips says:

    Does this work on old grumpy bald farts to spruce them up? One time I started to line the pantry shelves with sticky-backed shelf liner and I asked Mr. P to help me. He got so frustrated he ended up crumpling the whole roll up in a ball and throwing it in the trash.

  8. Eva Gallant says:

    OMG! That was so funny! Totally loved it!

  9. ole bobo says:

    well my lord, me and bess read cheri’s blog, she had yours for a link, well now you gone and done it, after readin this here blog bout that linin paper, she’s sendin me down to walmart to find that damn stuff and wants me to hep her re do the whole damn place this away thanks a lot.
    love your blog
    mr bob

  10. Cheri Pryor says:

    I think you failed Martha…but Erma Bombeck would be so proud!

  11. Rachael says:

    I like the toilet flusher bow!

  12. Michelle says:

    And this… THIS is why I don’t line my shelves at all. You poor dear, but hey — that’s one snazzy toilet. And I don’t believe I’ve EVER said that before.

  13. Kari says:

    Oh my gosh… I have to say I love the toilet seat cover.. Made me think that maybe I needed to make seat covers out of shelf liner too… Then after my teenage boy uses the bathroom I can just peel it off & voila! clean toilet seat!!

  14. Lauren says:

    OMG, how freaking hilarious. You rock! I love it!!!
    Happy SITS day!

  15. Molly says:

    HUH-larious!
    So many uses – I just had no idea! Haha.

  16. Funny Funny Funny….
    Especially love the shoes!!!!
    xoox
    ((((hugs))))
    Maggie

  17. Xazmin says:

    Holy cow – er, I mean Nanny goat. Was laughing so hard had to read it out loud to hubby and show him pictures!

  18. christina L says:

    OMG…. You are so fun!
    I laughed the whole way through this post..

  19. Tanielle says:

    That was funny! My kind of thinking.

  20. greedygrace says:

    What??? No liners around the children?
    Happy SITS Day!

  21. Ok, how have I never found your blog before now?
    Write a book, woman! You are hysterical!

  22. Mikki Black says:

    You are the awesome. And my hero.
    For two reasons:
    1. Your SITS feature.
    2. I have WAY too much shelf liner.
    Rock on with your bad self.

  23. Leslie Doyle says:

    That’s hilarious! I never have too much shelf liner; I normally don’t have enough.
    Thanks for the enertainment!

  24. Anna Lefler says:

    Okay, this is one of my favorite all-time blog posts I ever read.
    Will that fit on a t-shirt? Maybe a visor?
    Enjoy your spotlight day, lady! You deserve it!
    XO
    Anna

  25. Stephanie says:

    I remember the first time I read this post… it’s just as funny, if not more so, than the last time I read!

  26. Shannon says:

    Happy SITS day! :)

  27. Brandi says:

    Love the toilet bowl flusher bow! And the video hider! BTW…pudding off the floor tastes so much better than pudding out of the bowl!

  28. Veronica says:

    That shelf paper sure gets around!

  29. Dddiva says:

    *snorts her diet coke through her nose* dang it why oh why do you have to go and make me feel all uncreative and uncrafty. I never think of brilliant uses for leftovers. I think you should get mucho extra credit for recycling.

  30. Tori C. says:

    I loved this and LOL!

  31. Sandra says:

    What great ideas! They put Martha Stewart to shame.

  32. Pixeltrash says:

    OMG. I thought you were serious at first and were making covers for your chair pads. I started LMAO when I saw the video covers and the toilet seat cover. My dh thinks I’m insane in here laughing like a crazy person by myself.
    Thanks for the laugh.

  33. Carolyn says:

    Love the idea! Thanks! Dropping in from SITS. Congrats!

  34. kathy says:

    Oh my LORD this was beautiful!! You really missed your calling…QVC here you come!!

  35. The Mom says:

    Thanks for wonderful post! Had me laughing from the start to finish! Congrat’s on being the SITS star today!

  36. christina says:

    Hilarious! Love the toilet seat cover! ;)

  37. shelli says:

    I used to own that same pattern, only in wallpaper!!! Love your blog and added you to my favs!

  38. Ronnica says:

    Loved this post the first time around, but had to read it again!

  39. Kara says:

    I’m visiting from SITS and I love your blog. You are one funny lady!!

  40. Sevi says:

    This was hilarious! OMG!! I love the 10th use of it!

  41. Yep. Something is definitely wrong with you. :D
    You are TOO FREAKING FUNNEE.
    Oh, but let’s not forget the shelf-liner lamp shade covers and the remote control holder.

  42. Angie says:

    And to think…all this time I have just lined my shelves with it…I am running right now to make a toaster cozy!!!! :-)

  43. ali says:

    HaHa! Don’t forget to make a headband and belt out of it to match the shoes!

  44. Jacky says:

    Happy SITS Day! =)

  45. Selaen says:

    Oh my god, I’ve been looking for something to spruce up my shoes for the next time I go out, but now I know what to do!!!
    You can also fold up the shelf liner, round it up around your head and tie it on a little bow for a pretty headband! Good thing is, if you lose it, you can always make more!!
    Luv Luv
    x

  46. Gibby says:

    LOVE, LOVE the towel filler!!!! Awesome!
    Dropping by from SITS!

  47. Willo says:

    That’s not fair, I have bronchitis and now I can’t breath cause I am laughing too hard.

  48. Tara B says:

    oh-oh-oh! that’s it…i’ve peed my pants!

  49. Kendra says:

    LMAO! Happy SITS day!

  50. Kristin says:

    That’s totally awesome….

  51. Rhonda says:

    I think you forgot a table runner or how about a new look for the doggie-door! Ok, I can go on and on….
    Happy SITS day!

  52. I’d watch your ass, lady. Martha Stewart ain’t gonna be any too happy when she sees your level of commitment to home decor.

  53. Tabitha Blue says:

    Ok, that is hilarious… and a little disturbing. Not the part about the chocolate pudding, who hasn’t licked it off of… whatever. :)
    ~Tabitha~
    freshmommyblog.com

  54. Reeni says:

    That is too funny! Love the shoes!

  55. Gwyn says:

    HaHaHaHa….
    I’m soooo inspired!!!!

  56. These ideas are genius.
    What a funny, funny post.
    Happy Saucy day!

  57. Vickie says:

    I have shelf liner! I am gonna get busy right now and redecorate my house. The comments I am gonna get! he he.

  58. Katie says:

    I’ve never purchased or used any shelf paper. Does this make me a bad decorator?

  59. WhatACard says:

    This is my kind of crafty. Though truthfully, my kind of crafty is saying “maybe I should buy some shelf liner” and then 10 years later, reading this post and realizing I never did.

  60. Martha Stewart has NOTHING on you! Congrats on the sauciness!

  61. Nicole O'Dell says:

    thanks for the laugh! I have two of the exact same rolls! lol
    Here from SITS :)

  62. Lisa says:

    That takes crafty to a whole new level!

  63. Hahaha!
    What, no “shelf liner as wallpaper” tips?

  64. Carmen says:

    OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! LMAO over here! I think these are wonderful ideas and I am going to use my leftover shelf paper that I have in the basement today! Thanks! ;)

  65. Cheryl says:

    I will say, that is some genius there. Happy SITSA’s day. :-)

  66. Lisa M says:

    No shelf liner light pulls? How about shelf liner framed art? Or shelf liner decorative table cover (never comes off, and the table wipes clean!!)
    Maybe you can include them in the next “Shelf Liner Tips with NGIP!”

  67. Safire says:

    Hahaha! That is funny! Happy SITS day!

  68. Shalee Clark says:

    Your like the guy on the ShamWOW commercial… haha I’d buy me some shelf liner just to do all that neat stuff! :D
    You crack me up
    And PS.. that shelf liner reminds me of Willy Wanka and the chocolate factory when they are licking the walls with flavored wallpaper..

  69. Mimi says:

    Who told you my secret about the video cover??

  70. brandy says:

    LOL! Great ideas.

  71. Joy says:

    What, no shelf liner hair scrunchies?

  72. mrsbear says:

    That’s my kind of craft project. lol. Congrats on the feature, it was a pleasure stopping by.

  73. mrsbear says:

    Now that is my kind of craft project. lol. Congrats on your feature, it was really a pleasure reading, SITSta.

  74. Craftymoose says:

    Have you been looking in my closets? Funny post!

  75. Heather says:

    What perfect timing; I was on my way to Walmart today.
    Hey, I didn’t know they had “seat fillers” at the awards!
    Learn something new every day.
    Congrats on your SITS day!

  76. I’ll have my maid and launderess get right on this! Thanks for the laugh.
    Happy SITS Day!

  77. Cheryl says:

    crap. I gotta hurry to WalMart and get me some a dat shelf paper stuff before it’s all sold out.

  78. I remember reading this when you originally posted it and laughing quite as a bit… as I often do when I read your blog. Congrats on your SITS day!

  79. Tiffany says:

    Funny! This fear of extra shelf liner will keep me from ever taking on a huge “line every shelf in the house” project!

  80. Heather says:

    Found you thru SITS. Wow, hilarious post! I’ll definitely be checking back with you!

  81. Katie says:

    Hahahaaha! That is awesome!

  82. oh my goodness. that was genuis! pure genuis!

  83. Mandy says:

    That is the funnies thing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for making me laugh today.

  84. Mandy says:

    :) Lovely. I have the same seat cushions and curtains somewhere in the house…. Can’t wait to try these ideas out for them!

  85. I think we have similar decorating skills. The toilet seat cover is lovely.

  86. I remember that pattern! Great ideas, I may have to try some.:)

  87. rotf!
    I need to go make my toilet look pretty now.

  88. Amy says:

    This so funny. It had me rolling. I love what you did with your leftovers. The shoes made me laugh.

  89. Lisa says:

    YOu are way too funny.
    I am now a follower..as i enjoy laughing and well this blog is awesome.

  90. Preston says:

    You are my crafting inspiration god!

  91. Such an inspirational post! Would shelf liner work for a kitty sweater, do you think?

  92. No judging here. My kids are floor junkies. The first kid – no way, it fell OUT of my hands – don’t eat that! The second kid – 5 second rule go for it! Third kid – hey – noone has stepped on it who cares how long it’s been on the floor?!
    Love the Bible on top! Shouldn’t get get some Apocolypse points for that?
    Happy SITS!

  93. {Katie Lane} says:

    Wow so creative and well done. Martha would be proud!

  94. Betsy says:

    These are awesome!!!!

  95. cat says:

    Love the post! I actually hate shelf liners – could never see the use of it and irritates me to no end! Greetings from South Africa.

  96. angie says:

    Was anyone around you while you were taking photos of shelf liner in various places?! Ha ha!

  97. Anne says:

    This is hilarious!!!

  98. Canucklehead says:

    I came for the damn goats in panties … what the hell am I supposed to do with this handful of lotion now? Well?! I’m waiting! I kid – LOVE the post. Good times …. CHEERS!

  99. Ann Harrison says:

    Hi!
    I’m following you from Heather’s “Riding The Short Bus” and I just had to take a break from reading your entries to tell you how much fun I’m having here in your blog world!
    Great stuff!

  100. Heather says:

    This is so funny! As we are remodeling our bathroom, I will keep in mind how I can make it co-ordinate with such lovely shelf liner.

  101. Preston says:

    Wow, I didn’t know you were such a crafter. And while I have never licked up pudding off the floor, I have eaten a piece of candy that was packed away with last years Christmas decorations…

  102. HA!!!!!!!
    awesome.
    I’ve got two HUGE rolls. Bought 3 years ago.
    mine has palm trees…
    (With your inspiration in mind I think I might just finally have that pool cover I’ve been wanting.)

  103. Beverly says:

    I am laughing in my granny panties..
    I am going to put the stuff all over my house

  104. Nooter says:

    i lick stuff off the floor all the time, its no big deal really..

  105. kirsten says:

    Check out my blog. I have something for you!

  106. Cynthia says:

    Now I know exactly what to do with that extra roll and a half of wallpaper border that matches the sheets I ditched 13 years ago! It’s not quite as wide, but I can do salt and pepper shakers, door handles, the dogs…Brilliant! Thank you ever ever sooooo much Marth…I mean Nanny G. I’m on it!

  107. Sherry says:

    How about wrapping it around your head when you have a bad hair day? LOL Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  108. Katie says:

    hmmm I think I will have to pass. but you are creative! ;) haha

  109. VE says:

    That is so awesome! You are so creative! Did I mention that my floor IS chocolate pudding?

  110. Linda Lewis says:

    Can you make an origami paper hat to go with the awesome shoe bows?
    I bow to your creativity and thriftiness

  111. mrsmouthy says:

    I love these ideas but am having a hard time deciding if you’re being facetious or not. I, for example, vacuum on Tuesdays and usually put the vacuum cleaner away by Saturday, so I’m thinking some drawer-liner would SERIOUSLY improve things around here…
    You were being serious, right? :)

  112. The Keeper says:

    It’s like a whole new pair of shoes!!!!

  113. HeatherPride says:

    Oh my goodness, this was hilarious! I love the toilet seat and the TP! Hahahaha!!

  114. * tonya * says:

    I am seriously rolling on the floor LMAO. You are too funny.

  115. Found your blog from Blicky Kitty! :)

  116. black betty says:

    LOL!!! i like the toilet seat cover the bestest!!! LD

  117. @jeanannvk says:

    This is HI-LARIOUS! girrrl, how’d you get so funny….

  118. Mrs. G. says:

    Uh, Martha Stewart has got nothing on you.

  119. This reminded me of Julie Andrews making clothes out of curtains in The Sound of Music, but your pattern is prettier. :)

  120. These are the most innovative uses for shelf paper that I’ve seen since Johnny Dangerously’s daring escape from prison!

  121. Ellie says:

    Hilarious. We just were at the house of an old guy who had died — his kitchen “wallpaper” was shelf liner.

  122. Shelf liners are the work of the devil. Who gives a shit what the shelf looks like. Most shelves, from my experience, have stuff on them thereby covering the liner anyway…
    I hate shelf liners…

  123. Alex L. says:

    Anyone else get the feeling shelf lining paper is just one of those things people buy, just because someone is selling it.

  124. Kelly says:

    I didn’t know that liner had so many applications. Gosh. I am inspired to do something miraculous with it. It’s better than duct tape because it is so decorative.

  125. Jenn says:

    ya think it would work as a cover for dirty children, or maybe a way to hide all those toys on the living room floor? I could pile them up high and then lay the shelf liner on it and call it a beanbag chair or something? what d’ya think?

  126. Blicky Kitty says:

    You know, my children are cute and all, but they really don’t match. First of all, one’s way bigger than the other and they’re mouths are completely different. Maybe if I decoupaged them with a nice marimekko print they’d make a matching set and really pull the look of the living room together.
    Actually could you provide any tips for decoupaging children? When I search it in google all it has is art projects to do with, your kids and that’s just plain crazy.

  127. eve says:

    Girl..
    I got to tell ya..even I wouldn’t have thought of addin’ a new twist on some shoes…you is good, sista. C’mon let’s make us a belt!
    Eve

  128. Ok, I actually snorted with laughter. My husband came into the office to see what was up. We’re on the ground rolling.

  129. Sandy says:

    Too funny! Thanks for checking out my Saucy blog:)

  130. Rachel says:

    Your toilet cover was FANTASTIC. Very similar to what my granmda had on her toilet…now I wonder if it was liner.

  131. kirsten says:

    LOL! Your house must look like a whole new place with all your changes! I love the water jug cozy myself!

  132. Cassandra says:

    LOL!!! SO FUNNY!!! Thanks for stopping by my saucy blog & hope to see you again!!

  133. marvelgoose says:

    We cigar smokers are forever taking those cigar bands off our smokes so don’t think we’ll thank anyone for putting contact paper in its place.
    My question is: do you line up your contact paper perfectly at the bottom of the shelf or drawer so that all the creases match? Does it bother you if they do not?
    Stumbled, reviewed, stapled, mutilated.

  134. ByJane says:

    I’m breaking my More Than Fifteen Comments rule because this post really is one of your best.

  135. AngieSS says:

    LOL I feel so uncreative (is that a word?). I just throw the extra away. Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t even buy it. I make my cabinet shelves go naked. :(

  136. what a trip! the coincidence between the rocking chair and under the sink just blew my mind.

  137. Di says:

    I’m gonna stick some from the heel of my shoe so it drags along behind me everywhere I go… weellllll, it sure looks better than the toilet paper I used to use.

  138. quirkyloon says:

    *snort, snort*
    *giggle, giggle*
    Need I say more?

  139. Ronnica says:

    It’s all I can do to keep from laughing right now! I’m not sure which I liked better, the water jug cozy or the vacuum pizazz!

  140. Hilarious. You sure love your peaches and blueberries, don’t you?
    I think the toilet flusher bow is my favorite, tho I might be tempted to use extra shelf liner to cover my disgusting stovetop. Is shelf liner flammable, by any chance?
    JD at I Do Things

  141. How about some for the goats? Oh wait, I guess they would just eat it.

  142. I felt guilty about the non-recyclable buckets from cat litter I had, yet I also needed wastebaskets the furbearing bastard wouldn’t knock over and spill all over. Ding! I covered my Tidy Cat buckets with shelf paper.
    Yeah, its obviously a litter bucket covered in shelf paper, no Martha Stewart design miracle. But I like them.

  143. Jan says:

    While I am absolutely agog with envy at your home decorating savoire faire, you did forget one teensy little detail:
    The paper shouldn’t make you want to hurl.

  144. sheila says:

    Awesome post! LOL!!!
    I’d wrap gifts with it!

  145. nikkicrumpet says:

    LOL…very creative…I was taken over the top with the shoe bows…that was genius!

  146. Lisa says:

    But what about that stretchy rubbery shelf liner? what do I do with extra of that stuff?

  147. Mulled Vine says:

    You have waaaay too much time. :)
    You could scan it in and use it as a desktop wallpaper!

  148. honeywine says:

    I think I need to do that to my trash can. I like it. It’s just nutty enough. Martha doesn’t think outside the box like that!

  149. Ken Geraths says:

    And I thought I was board…lol you are just to much Nanny. lol

  150. zenmom says:

    Whew! Number 4 is a lifesaver! Thanks! Screw Martha Stewart – you are a true household diva! :)

  151. gingela5 says:

    That’s great! I actually have bought a TON of shelf liner–it never made it to the shelves but I have a ton of it.

  152. Leslie says:

    Hilarious! I guess I could do the same thing with all the crappy wrapping paper I’ve collected over the years. Stupid Target clearance shelf…..

  153. Jenn Thorson says:

    That toilet seat cozy adds panache to any restroom! And it’s so quick and easy to install.
    Nanny Goats- you are a genius! :)

  154. Topsy-Techie says:

    So this post has seriously inspired my creativity. Who knew that it would only take seven hours to cut out enough thin strips of shelf paper to cover all my mini-blinds. My neighbors are gonna be so freakin’ jealous when they look out through their boring old white mini-blinds and see my red and blue paisley beauties taunting back at them!!!

  155. debbie says:

    Now why does Martha have her own show and you don’t?

  156. 3boys1mommy says:

    I stopped having Father Murphy around since he dropped in during our nightly Girls Gone Wild viewing. (I like clear heels)

  157. Anna Lefler says:

    Oh, geez. You’re a genius.
    You’ve inspired me to make the most of a roll I just found in the linen closet. Now if the dog will just stand still for two stinkin’ minutes…

  158. Scargosun says:

    ooooo! You creative genius you!

  159. Steph says:

    hahaha and just when I was getting ready to throw out old rolls of shelf paper I’ve been holding on to! thanks!!!

  160. Carrie says:

    oh…mah….gawd….I’m pretty sure I just peed a little…

  161. Haaaa ha ha ha ha! That’s hilarious! You missed out new lamp shade covers ha ha ha!

  162. Rhea says:

    You are my hero. This post is the most hilarious one yet!! LOVE your creativity!!
    My fav, hiding the videos. hehe

  163. muskrat says:

    That is about ugly as Hell, but I love the toilet handle extension!

  164. Jennifer H says:

    So freaking hilarious. The Bible on top? I’m still laughing!
    This is brilliant.

  165. Dr. Wifey says:

    ROTFLMAO!! i must say those are the most creative uses for shelf liner i have ever seen! love how you demonstrated EACH and EVERY one :) you are a riot

  166. LMAO!!! That is so freaking funny! I love the toilet seat cover! hahaha

  167. Alyson says:

    That’s the best looking Dyson I have ever seen!
    You go – with your bad ass peaches & blueberries.

  168. jane! says:

    You’ve inspired me! I’m going to wrap some around my muffin top next time I go to the gym!

  169. californian for a week says:

    This is the funniest goddam entry you’ve ever made. IMHO.