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My Eyes are Bigger Than My Freezer

As usual, I walked into the grocery store intending to “buy just a few things”, spend maybe fifty bucks, and be out of there in ten minutes. I’m not sure why after years of failing to get in and out for less than a hundred smackers, I continue to delude myself.

I always opt for the hand-held basket, because I surely don’t need a whole cart. I mean, I’m only shopping for the two of us. How much could I possibly think I need? And then somewhere between the produce section and aisle 9, I’m abducted by aliens, and an hour later I’m standing in the checkout line with my fingers about to fall off from the hundred pound basket I’m carrying.

A couple of days ago I came home bogged down with twelve bags of groceries when out of one of the bags flew this item that refused to fit into the freezer:

It’s not like we have some college dorm-room freezer. And it’s not like I picked this up at Costco, whose membership generally requires that you own a second industrial-sized freezer out in the garage and by the way, they don’t have hand-held baskets; you have to wield a flatbed on wheels around the store.

In any event, you can probably guess what we had for dinner that night.

* * *

Speaking of weapons of mass mastication, last week we went to a birthday dinner party at a restaurant whose name perfectly describes this country’s unhealthy relationship with food: Fats. (I’m not kidding)

As I have not written a post in honor of Halloween today, I can offer pictures of the birthday cakes we got for the previously mentioned party:


The second cake? That, dear readers, is a spider. Mmmmm. Yummy.

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  1. * tonya * says:

    You know what I think those darn aliens are making their rounds because I can never leave the store with just the 2 cartons of milk I wanted. Oh and I hear you about standing in the checkout while your fingers are slowly having the circulation cut off, but you can’t do anything because you’ve got stuff wedged up to the armpits too.

  2. I think looking at those cakes just gave me a cavity.

  3. As I have two teenage bottomless pits, aka my sons, we do frequent the club stores and have the requisite second freezer in the garage. LOL
    That pumpkin cake looks almost too good to eat – notice I said – “almost” – it looks yummy!

  4. Tricia says:

    I’m going to start borrowing your “abducted by aliens” theory. At least I’ll finally have a good excuse for doing all the same things you’ve described!

  5. Jenn says:

    the name of my grocery aliens are Sam, Chris, Todd and Rose..and hubby. If I go in alone, I come out with exactly what’s on my list. If I go in with any of the aliens above I come out with so much more. I really need to remember to feed them before taking them to the store.

  6. Nicole says:

    Not just you.
    The cakes look awesome.

  7. Rhea says:

    Those cakes are awesome!! I hope they were as yummy as they look!
    I have similar problems at the grocery store…but even bigger problems at Target. That places just SUCKS my money away. But I love it.

  8. Dddiva says:

    Too funny on the freezer- before we had to replace the last one, you literally had to put things in and take them out like a very complicated puzzle or you would cause an avalanche.

  9. Did you follow me through the grocery store today? Huh? You just described my most recent visit. It wasn’t the pizza that didn’t fit but the Toaster Struedel. 🙂
    Great Post!

  10. debbie says:

    Coolest cakes ever. I have tried that carry the basket thing in the grocery to cut down on my buying – I end up herniating disks because I try to lug too much in my basket. Doesn’t work.

  11. I so want a serving of that first cake …

  12. Brittany says:

    Those suckers NEVER fit int he freezer!
    And I would have eaten the entire spider off the top, as a warning to all other spiders.

  13. Poetikat says:

    I enjoy those little convenience baskets they have on wheels with the long handles. I just love dragging them along, happy-as-you please, dropping in produce items here and there, ho-dee-do, ho-dee-do, UNTIL I move on to other aisles and get into canned goods or eggs, or 2 litres of milk. Then I’m squatted on the floor unloading my basket for all to see, trying to repack it so things don’t get crushed. Inevitably I end up carting a pizza box around under my arm, hoping all the toppings don’t end up at one end of the box.
    Of course then I have to count my items (shifting things in the basket again) to see if I qualify for the fast-checkout).
    Maybe those baskets aren’t so great after all, but at least I’m not taking out displays in the middle of the store or colliding with other shoppers.

  14. Rick says:

    Saw the name of your blog – had to come take a peek – not that I am an animal voyeur or anything.
    You must be related to my wife. “I need to stop and get some milk.” An hour later we’re pulling a load home to stack and put away.
    I shouldn’t complain, I end up eating more than my fair share.

  15. Mulled Vine says:

    I recommend a shopping list, or even better set one up with an online supermarket that does delivery.
    That way temptation is avoided.
    Of course you then end up with a very predictable set of goodies…

  16. Alyson says:

    Shouldn’t there be standard sizing for freezer items? Ridiculous.
    Love the sans spider cake. But did it taste good? Usually the pretty ones are lacking in yumminess.
    Thanks for stopping by!

  17. Di says:

    Freezers…. never ever big enuf, nor is the fridge. That pumpkin cake looks sooo good. Sweet tooth is killing me, from now right up through Christmas.

  18. Alex L. says:

    I trust the cake didn’t taste like pumpkin though.

  19. sheila says:

    Yummmmmm those cakes looked scrumptious!
    BTW, I have the same illness as you…that one caused by over shopping weekly at the grocery store. In fact, I came down with it again today when I rang up a $178. bill for the week.

  20. Lynette says:

    OMG! Those cakes look to pretty to eat. (But I would still eat them if they had been mine…because I don’t want to just HAVE cake, I wanna eat it too)
    Happy Halloween!

  21. AngieSS says:

    I’m like you. I can never go to the store for just one thing. Oh, and I absolute love the Halloween cakes — too cool!

  22. Mrs Parks says:

    SHUT UP!
    I want that top cake.
    OMG, it looks delish….
    Serious, I want one.

  23. Midlife Mama says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention that the too-full freezer happens to me, all the time. But its usually after I go to Costco. I don’t know how, but somehow I think I can cram all that crap inside my little freezer compartment. And then I go grocery shopping on top of it, and come home with a crowbar. Sometimes my freezer is so full, my icemaker doesn’t work because it’s not getting enough airflow. **sigh.**

  24. Midlife Mama says:

    Sounds like a blast. There’s a Fats resturant in Old Sacramento. Its supposed to be a great place to eat. And LOVE the cakes! 🙂

  25. Oh the pumpkin cake is adorable.

  26. Lynn K. says:

    I love freschetta pizzas. MmmmmMmmmmm. I’d gladly take it off your hands.
    And the cakes are great!

  27. quirkyloon says:

    Thank you for giving me unneccessary purchases validation.
    I just KNEW there were others out there who suffered from this syndrome.
    Now if I could only get my husband to understand why I needed that 10lb block of cheese…I mean it was on sale…how could I refuse?

  28. Nikkicrumpet says:

    Both of those cakes are gorgeous…way to pretty to eat…oh wait on second thought …cut me a big ole chunk! I think you should write the ads for Costco I’m pretty sure they could make a catchy jingle out of your description of the store . HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

  29. Kathy says:

    While shopping for a new side-by-side fridge, my husband and I waved off information that the salesman thought we might like to know. Energy saver? Don’t care. Ample door compartments? Makes no difference. Pull out shelves? Big deal. Listen, pal. Can we fit a large Pizza Hut box in there? Yes. Sold!

  30. black betty says:

    that punkin cake is da bomb!!!

  31. Muse Swings says:

    Pass me a piece of that pumpkin cake, please while I finish typing this comment. I miss the freezer that we had to leave in Michigan. It is large enough to hold everything – and I mean everything -in the freezer section at Sam’s Club. Or two bodies. Whichever. We built a pantry room around it and left it there. Now we play chess with the food in our Florida freezer. A “check mate dinner” is whatever won’t fit after a shopping adventure.

  32. Christa says:

    I’ve been holding my breath ALL DAY *stomping my foot* to see a picture of you dressed like a goat for Hollo-weenie day. I guess I have to settle for cake…..that’s ok. I like cake.
    If you want to see some embarrassing shots of me from the 80’s in Halloween costumes, head to my site. All I can say is…Aqua Ney anyone?
    Now where is that bag of Butterfingers????

  33. Ian says:

    Was it pizza?!? Was it pizza?!

  34. LarryG says:

    that is an awesome spider on that cake!
    wow… what fun!

  35. Becky says:

    I can never go to the grocery store and come out with exactly what I planned. These days I’ve been sending the man to go do it because then if he goes off the list it’s on him. 🙂
    Plus if I take the kids I’m in deep trouble.
    I love FATS restaurant. And those cakes are totally COOL!!!!

  36. Carrie says:

    I think someday I may take out my laundry room and install a walk-in freezer/fridge like they have in restaurants. How fricken awesome would that be?
    Besides there’s a laundromat about five blocks away. I eat much more than I launder. *snort*

  37. Bill Libbey says:

    Happy Halloween! You’ve got me totally drooling over those cakes, spider looks delicious (never thought I’d say that!

  38. Amy says:

    Love the cakes, very lovely.
    I have purchased things that wouldn’t fit in the freezer either. That sucks 😀

  39. Spiders wouldn’t stop me. Cake is cake!

  40. Katie says:

    FATS? sounds like my kind of place!!
    those are some good looking cakes! 🙂

  41. zenmom says:

    Eeeeek! You gotta worn a girl before you go throwing out the spider cakes!

  42. hammy says:

    Spider cake? Eww… Well, in a kind of way, it’s good that the spider is so large here.
    If it was a bunch of small itsy bitsy spiders, it might have seemed too real. So size does matter, after all.

  43. I must be odd, I could live without a freezer.
    The only frozen food foods I like are garden peas and chunky chips & I mean CHUNKY not those skinny chips.

  44. Those cakes are fabulous!!!
    That must be one heckuva sheet of fondant. I mean, truly large.
    I’m there with ya on the freezer thing. I have a standard-sized freezer, that you can fit nothing into. I totally want a much larger (read stainless subzero) frig/freez combo in my kitchen along with a backup freezer in the garage. I mean, you can’t be going wrong with a healthily stocked freezer!

  45. gingela5 says:

    I know exactly what you mean–I usually go in to buy sugar or something and end up with 5 or 6 bags of stuff! VERY cute cakes!

  46. MJ says:

    I only shop for myself, and I spent $86 at Kroger yesterday… *sigh*
    Happy Halloween!

  47. chat blanc says:

    ohhhhh! I’ll take the pizza AND the pumpkin cake for dinner please! 😀

  48. georgie says:

    I would fit right in @Fats!!!
    That pumpkin cake is beautiful!
    Happy Halloween

  49. jane! says:

    I am always amazed at how I can walk away from the checkout with 4 or more bags of groceries when I only used a handbasket. But maybe I’m so focused on getting blood back into my arms that I can’t think straight.

  50. Anna Lefler says:

    Nyaaah! Spider cake!
    I feel you on the freezer. Ours holds one, maybe two popsicles at most. That realtor who sold us this place is a stinkin’ liar.
    Happy Halloween!
    ~ Anna

  51. Jennifer H says:

    How is it that I’m not on that restaurant’s mailing list? (You’d think they’d buy Lane Bryant’s mailing list…)
    The pumpkin cake is beautiful…but I’d have no trouble saying no to that spider cake.

  52. Ken Geraths says:

    Natrully a spider just as I’m healing from a spider bite that had me off my feet for three weeks you post this….lol

  53. Cakes and spiders- they just go together.
    Those same Grocery Aliens get me too!! Nobody believes me!!!! Don’t even ask about the probing.