What the Hell is There To Do in Manhattan? I Mean, Really.

Sep 11th, 2008

Last night, as I was spraying down my elephant, Gwendolyn, I wondered, What the hell am I going to do in New York next week? I mean, it’s not like there’s anything to do there, right?

O.K. I’m kidding. My elephant’s name is really Larry, but he’s having gender issues right now and I’ve decided to humor him as he goes through this trying phase.

But as I was saying, New York. I’ll be in Manhattan next week, goofing off and going to a wedding. Well, not a wedding exactly, that’s for close friends and family. I’m part of the extraneous guest list that gets to go to the reception. The young bride-and-groom-to-be are artists as evidenced by the 8×11 invitation I received in one of those large cardboard envelopes:

Anyway, I’ve got the whole rest of the week to “do Manhattan”. Last year I did things like this:

I took a ride on the Staten Island Ferry where you can get THIS CLOSE to the Statue of Liberty!

I got THIS CLOSE to Chris Angel’s blurry butt in Midtown:

I took a picture of this guy’s dog in the Village:

I had dinner at THIS coffee shop:

I went to MOMA and saw THIS piece of art:

I took pictures of things in subway stations:

and train stations:

So, yeah. That kinda stuff.

Now if you have any MUST-SEE suggestions, I’d love to hear them. Got a favorite pizza place? Broadway show? Museum exhibit? A place to sit and blog to you guys? Cupcake place? Cannoli place?

Oh, and uh, if you know of any elephant-sitters with a LOT of patience and understanding when it comes to unpredictable hormonal sobbing and I’m Not Really A Waitress toenail polish, please send them my way.

Posted in: culture, new york.

http://metafootnotes.wordpress.com msmeta

Oh, oh, oh please don’t miss The Cloisters, the Metropolitan Museum’s site for medieval art. It’s so far uptown that it’s practically not even on the island, but it’s worth the trip. It’s at Fort Trion Park. Go in the afternoon, when they pipe in Gregorian chanting! Cool! My favorite place.
We also had a GREAT meal the last time we were there at a big noisy Cuban place just off Times Square. Can’t remember the name, but it’s hard to miss.
http://www.cultofqelqoth.com Qelqoth

I don’t have must-see suggestions for NYC as I don’t live in NYC. I don’t even live in America. So it’s going to be tough to make a recommendation on a place I’ve never been to.
However, I saw Ghostbusters II last night and they had this statue thing covered in slime which was controlled by a Nintendo game pad. That kicked ass.
http://www.mydogumentary.wordpress.com gingela5

I heard there’s this neat place called Central Park…ok, I’ve got nothing–I’ve never been anywhere NEAR there. But have fun!
http://honeywine.wordpress.com honeywine

That is some invite! That must have taken forever!
http://orion-unleashed.blogspot.com/ orion

i actually went to NYC this summer… and i think the most fun i had was in TimeSquare.
…You could go to canal street and buy 40 shirts for 10$… that’s always fun… even though you can’t wash them because the letters will fall off.
haha…
i also got a snapshot of a batman punching me in the face for the premier event.
and there’s always the 9-11 memorial.. if you can find it. we couldn’t find it. but we went to ground zero. Creepy.
http://crotchety-old-man-yells-at-cars.blogspot.com/ Joe

Yankee Stadium is in its final few weeks before it gets closed and replaced by one across the street. Your last chance to catch a game there forever. Also, Shea Stadium is closing, so you could catch a game there in its final season.
My kid like Gray Papaya hot dogs. Cheap and tasty.
If you go downtown near CanalStreet, in Little Italy, there is a restauant called Luna. I haven’t been in a couple years, but it is always an experience. I mean that in a good sort of way.
http://www.spriteskeeper.com Sprite’s Keeper

Go to Central Perk and sit on the couch where the Friends gang sat! Oh, wait, that’s in LA. Call your friends and tell them to get married in LA!
http://fatcatcrochet.blogspot.com Linda

I have an Aunt-in-Law who works as a tour guide at the Bronx Zoo. She is a fantastic speaker and a wonderfull ladie. Ask for Gladys!
http://www.colbymarshall.blogspot.com colbymarshall

I agree- Central Park is a good place to go. Also, I love the dog pic. Awesome!
http://www.significantsnail.blogspot.com annette

Radio City Music Hall and the Rockettes..that’s always good. Ummm go see St. Patrick’s Cathedral? Rockefeller Center. If you haven’t been to the top of the Empire State Building that’s good too. I guess these are really just the usual, but worth it if you haven’t done them.
http://korfforiginals.blogspot.com Lynn K.

I so wish I was you. Have a great time, whatever you do. Have a hot dog and a soft pretzel for me. Oh, and a bagel and cheesecake and pizza….
http://www.spectacularblog.com Howard Bannister

Things to do in New York:
1. See a Broadway show. Go to the booth and look for half-price tickets. Among the things I’d recommend right now are Xanadu (hilarious), Boeing-Boeing (hilarious), Spring Awakening (Rockin’), 39 Steps (funny and terrific), Avenue Q (hilarious), or Mary Poppins (if you’ve got kids or just like a big, splashy musical where people dance on the ceiling). Most of those shows should have 2-fers at the booth. And if you want to talk this out more, e-mail me. It will require me to reveal my true identity, but I do theater reviews for a well-regarded media outlet, and I can send you the link to some of them.
2. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge on a nice day. Whenever people visit me, I always suggest that, and it usually turns out to be one of the most fun free things you can do in New York.
3. Have a drink at the Campbell Apartment. In Grand Central Station, there’s a cocktail lounge that used to be the private office of the guy who owned the railroad. It’s a hidden gem. The drinks are pricey, and you can’t wear jeans or sneakers, but it’s a special “only in New York” thing to do.
4. Take the backstage tour at Radio City Music Hall. You can buy the tix in advance on-line, and you get to see parts of Radio City that you’d never see if you were going to a show there. If you go on the day when there isn’t a performance, they may actually let you go on stage.
5. Do the stage door at Equus and meet Daniel Radcliffe. I’m not sure how long the show is, but I’m seeing it tomorrow night. Even if you don’t have a ticket, you can wait outside the stage door after his show and catch a glimpse of Harry Potter in the flesh. So to speak.
6. The Tenement Museum on the Lower East Side is really interesting, if you wanna know what life was like for recent immigrants to NYC at the turn of the last century. It could go hand-in-hand with a visit to Ellis Island, which is really interesting, if you like history.
7. Cupcakes (since you asked) must come from Magnolia Bakery in the West Village.
8. Pizza (because you asked again) from Li’l Frankie’s in the East Village. 1st Avenue, just north of Houston.
9. If you’re in town on Monday night, you should go to Birdland for “Cast Party.” It’s the night that all of the Broadway shows don’t have performances, so lots of the actors show up there for an informal “open mic” night. You’ll see some amazing peformers there (Liza Minelli showed up a few weeks ago, in fact) and it’s definitely worth a visit.
10. Lunch with me?
http://www.google.com Erin

There’s always rehearsal at the Late Show. Check the schedule for the coming week and our friend will get you in!
http://thetrailerparksfarm.com Mrs Parks

I’ll watch the elephant.
I’m a retired manacurist so things should be fine.
http://mojo11.blogspot.com/ Mojo

You want travel advice, go check out Daryl at Out & About in New York City. Take a look around her gallery for starters, you’ll get plenty of ideas. And if you’re still not sure, just email her — or leave a comment. She’s good people.
Tell her Mojo sent ya
Alessia Lane

Don’t miss the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s “Temple of Dendur” in the Egyptian wing, The Cloisters, The Natural History Museum, and the Frick.
For incredible knishes and potato pancakes go to Kiev on 11th and 3rd ave (if I remember correctly.) The Pyramid Club on Avenue A and 1st street has some great music every night of the week. The Korova Milk Bar on Avenue A and 13th will make a mean Moloko Jon Benet Ramsey (trust me it’s good). On Saturdays the green market in Union Square is to die for. Some of the best Italian food is to be had at Mezzanotte off of 14th street, and the VERY BEST Chinese is found at a tiny hole in the wall restaurant on Bayard Street in Chinatown (go figure) called New York Noodletown. Don’t let the dingy decor and small place fool you. It’s real Chinese food, not your average “beef and broccoli”. Be adventurous with the menu, you won’t be disappointed. The waiters don’t speak English but if you leave it up to them, they will bring you the BEST!
And if you’re interested on where to go for some *ahem* alternative nightlife, feel free to email me and I’ll give you the addresses. But keep in mind, I’ve been away from NYC for 5 years so alot of parties have moved or no longer exist.
Say hi to my ex-city for me. I miss it so.
Preston

You should go to ground zero. After that, go to the Theatre Development Fund where you can get half-priced show tickets. To check them out, go to http://www.tdf.org.
Central park is beautifuland there is a wonderful zoo there. If you love shopping, go to Macy’s and FAO Schwartz.
guess who

two boots pizza
john’s pizzeria on bleeker
ray’s pizza
patsy’s pizza (brooklyn)
pizza
http://ettarose-edgeofsanity.blogspot.com ettarose

I have only been to NY twice. I am a people watcher that never has any money. So I hung out on times square. I loved FAO Swartz? Warner Brothers store and Central Park. Personally I would meet up with Howard Bannister, most def!
http://www.ken-askmewhy.blogspot.com Ken Geraths

Go there have fun don’t miss a post (I ned my NGIP fix) Oh and for Pete’s sakes don’t get mugged! ( its just a thought)
http://drowseymonkey.blogspot.com DrowseyMonkey

The dog’s cool. But those people in the train station…how long have they been waiting?
http://www.merlotmom.blogspot.com merlotmom

Central Park for sure. Walk around the west village (christopher and bleeker area), eat at John’s Pizza, Magnolia Bakery if you like sweet, sweet cupcakes. Make sure you don’t get there when the SATC tour buses show up. Kiev diner is on 2nd ave not 3rd. Definitely see Spring Awakening. Even without kids you might like Mary Poppins, it was amazing. Union Square green market is my own neighborhood (great). There’s a restaurant near Houston Street and Lower East Side called Abizz (incredible italian by a guy who’s a self taught chef – have the short ribs – trust me). Stroll around the Upper West Side by Central Park West and Columbus Ave. Lincoln Center. Maybe hit 30 Rock. See if you can get tickets for SNL (if they’re starting by then) or Jon Stewart. If you do see Jon Stewart you have to give him a big hug from his old friend, Fran. (I don’t really know him, but a friend of a friend knows him. Just fake it and give him a huge hug, no kiss, from me. Actually, offer to sleep with him, then call and tell me all about it, kay?) Have fun!
http://phhhst.blogspot.com/ phhhst

Nanny – you’ve got some great people stopping by. I think you should meet up with Mr Bannister, take Merlot Mom along, paint the town and then go see Jon Stewart and all sleep together.
But if that doesn’t work out, when we went last year we had the best deli lunch at Stage Deli. It’s close to Braodway area, I think. The security guard at the Top of the Rock recommended it and it was great. Have cheesecake.
http://aileni.blogspot.com Aileni

Good morning?evening,Margaret.
Have an good trip – I see you have checked out Daryl… noisy so-&-so that I am. Courtesy of Feedjit.
I think I would be a bit overwhealmed in NYC.
And now I see a comment has appeared from you – thanks in advance.
Have fun.
Aileni.
http://www.scratchbags.wordpress.com Scratch Bags

I can see that your mom is not anti-memeite. Is my observation right? :p
http://www.lovetheeclecticlife.blogspot.com Your Pal Pinki

The kids said to please egg the new Yankee Stadium. GO RED SOX!
http://alimartell.com ali

John’s Pizza in the West Village. amazing. best pizza ever.
as far as cupcakes…i went to Crumbs. they are pretty good. not to-die-for, though.
century 21.
http://www.magicksandwich.org kathcom

Okay, here goes:
If you like kooky genius, go see the Buckminster Fuller exhibit at the Whitney Museum. Get there at 11 when it opens and immediately go downstairs to Sarabeth’s Restaurant and have brunch. Sarabeth’s other restaurants can be hard to get a table at, and this is nice and quiet this early in the day. The museum is closed Mondays and Tuesdays and the B.Fuller exhibit runs through Sept. 21.
http://www.magicksandwich.org kathcom

If you like Dali,MoMa has a great exhibition of his film and paintings. You could really spend all day there if you like his movies with Bunuel, etc. It only runs through Sept. 15, so you’d have to be coming soon.
It’s closed Tuesdays, opens 10:30 every other day. Get there promptly and get on line for Terrace 5 restaurant if it’s a nice day. You can get a table on the terrace overlooking the sculpture garden. They have a sundae there that’s killer.
I’m a big proponent of having a nice experience and a full belly before dealing with the crowds in museums. It makes me feel good.
Olaf Eliassen’s(sp?) Waterfalls Exhibit is around the seaport. You can take a boat ride to see them all. If you do, take it at night, they’re much more impressive when they’re lit up. Otherwise, just go to the South Street Seaport and check out the one that’s attached to the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s the coolest-looking one, imho.
http://www.aguysguidetooprah.com sensei

You have to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and go eat pizza at Grimaldi’s. And then stop at the ice cream store that’s on the water, when you go back to the bridge.
Cash only. But it’s awesome.
http://crotchety-old-man-yells-at-cars.blogspot.com/ Joe

I almost forgot, did you go to Ellis Island? Very moving experience.
http://canofwhupass.typepad.com Whup-Ass Master

I would second Bannister’s advice but I suggest going to the box office of a show you REALLY want to see and paying full price. You’ll get a MUCH better seat. Pack a flask of booze and hop on a double decker tour bus. On restaurant row, Joe Allen’s is where the Broadway types hang after the shows. MoMA is a must. Two off-broadway shows you should check out: Fuerzabruta and Absinthe. Walk along the park at the west side piers (take a trapeze lesson if you’re feeling brave). Have a delicious French provincial meal at Danal on East 10th Street. Hang out at Union Square and watch the hippy students protest something. Yummy tapas at Pipas, east 19th. Go to bethesda fountain, central park.
xox
WAM
http://myundercoverlife.blogspot.com lynette

Well, I’m from California…but it looks like you already DID all the fun stuff there was to do in NY. LOL.
http://www.psoriginal.blogspot.com Peggy

Oh, have a ball! And stay away from anything too Wood Allen’ish ..except for the early stuff…that’ll be okay..
http://popeterry666.blogspot.com Alex L.

Can’t help you with New York but there is a sweet lookout tower in Bendigo if you’re ever in this hemisphere
http://www.lovetheeclecticlife.blogspot.com Your Pal Pinki

Holy crap, how long are you going for cuz you’ll need like a year to do everything all these awesome people have recommended! Have fun!
http://www.lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com Anna Lefler

** INSIDER TIP:
Everything in Manhattan closes at 5:00 pm. Including the bridges and tunels. Seriously. “The city that never sleeps?” I don’t think so. It’s pretty obvious Frank Sinatra was talking about Indianapolis.
I’m just sayin’…start out early, keep an eye on that watch and take your Yahtzee board with you to pass help the quiet evening time.
Now go have fun! Chop-chop!
http://www.redflashlight.blogspot.com/ Red Flashlight

Whatever you do, don’t bother going to the Empire State Building. Nothing to see except for a giant crowd of tourists. Head instead to the corner of 4th and Jane, in the Village. Cheapest diner on earth! Then there’s the walking around in the Village and Soho. Really mellow and nice.
http://canubapartofmylife.blogspot.com Lauren

Pizza: take the E train to Queens. Union Tpke stop. Get on Q10 or walk to Lefferts. Blvd to Dani’s Pizza. Famous place, in Kew Gardens. It’s worth the trip.
http://wordgirl5.typepad.com/apathy_lounge apathy lounge

Okay…we were in that subway station last December and saw that cool mosaic with the marbles. I have a picture, too.