Dennis Hopper Would Like To Ask You A Question

Stop me if you’ve heard this before…

You’re barreling downhill on a runaway trolley with five other people: a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker, and two nuns. With red hair. The wind whips across your face as your fellow terrorized passengers scream in terror. You notice an upcoming fork in the tracks and you’re standing next to the lever that will switch the trolley to the other track which levels out and would slow down the trolley to a safe stop.

But wait! A man is standing on that other track. If you switch tracks, you’ll kill him. Your hand is on the lever. The other passengers are frantically smacking into one another as they alternate between praying and cursing. What do you do? Do you pull the lever and kill one person to save five?

But what if the man is the Dalai Lama? Or a policeman? Or a grandmother? Or your grandmother?

Or what if the man was a murderer, you may think. Why is he wearing a trench coat and what’s with the black handlebar moustache that he’s twisting? And why is he hunched over? What if he ties little kittens to railroad tracks? Or worse, this little guy?

Pop quiz, hotshot. What do you do?

(photo courtesy of Mike S. of Mike’s Mixed Memories. The goat picture along with others pics of Glacier Park can be found here )

http://orion-unleashed.blogspot.com/ Orion

This all depends on the nature of the circumstances…
did i have Mt. Dew before i got on the trolley?
how many cigarettes have i smoked?
when was the last time i had sex?
am i wearing clean underwear?
did my mother call me that morning?
These are all VERY RELEVANT weights tipping the scales of sacrifice…
http://www.janssushibar.com Jan

Do you REALLY want to know MY answer to that??
I didn’t think so.
But just for the sake of argument, Snidely Whiplash had better move. Like now.
http://crpitt.blogspot.com/ Claire

I have heard this before, well I don’t get the Dennis Hopper bit?
If it was my grandmother on the track then I would pull the lever, I never liked her anyways.
(Okay I wouldn’t really)
http://lovingpulse.wordpress.com Davina

I haven’t heard this before. But, I’d pull the lever. If that crazy person standing on the tracks didn’t move out of the way, well then…
http://www.colbymarshall.blogspot.com colbymarshall

Hopefully I wake up and it was all a bad dream…however, if the one man was a.) Matt Damon b.) Morgan Freeman or c.) Orlando Bloom, those five people are SOL.
http://mamasphere.blogspot.com Mamasphere

So I’M on the trolley? And I have a chance to save myself? Yeah, I’ll take that option. Sorry mystery man who was stupid enough to be on the tracks in the first place.
http://muffin53.blogspot.com empress bee (of the high sea)

never heard this but guess i’d run ‘em down!
smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
http://jessicagottlieb.com Jessica Gottlieb

This is why women should never drive.
At least that’s what my husband tells me.
http://metafootnotes.wordpress.com msmeta

Interesting. I’ve heard various versions of this scenario, but usually in a religious context. (Think about it.)
http://www.barefootfoodie.com Brittany

Oh crap…I hate math questions….
http://justagirl34.blogspot.com/ jusagirl

jump the fuck out.
http://cabbages-n-kings.blogspot.com Jenn

I run to save the little GOAT, of course!
How cute is he? And it’d be super taking him for a walk in my neighborhood, totally confusing the dog owners walking their pugs and poodles and Jack Russels and pitbulls…
Save the goat. It’s all so simple.
Those nuns were just exotic dancers in costume anyway.
http://margeauxj.blogspot.com MJ

Avoid guilt and make someone else pull the lever…
http://drowseymonkey.blogspot.com DrowseyMonkey

Is this something Denis Hopper asks people? I musta missed that movie.
I’d probably just jump from the cart.
I do like that watermelon piggy!
http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com Margaret

If you aren’t sure about the Dennis Hopper reference, click on the “What do you do?” link after “Pop quiz, hotshot”.
Or…I’ll just tell you, it’s a quote from the movie Speed.
http://beesmusings.blogspot.com/ Bee

I say eat the people on the trolley.
http://pleasingprocrastinator.blogspot.com/ Alicia

Ask the nuns to pray for me as I would most likely jump.
I couldn’t help but to add you. I love your blog!!
http://confusionk.blogspot.com sarahM

kill the idiot to save myself.
end of story.
http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/ Scratch Bags

Oh No, such a confusion. I hate such questions. I think I’ll end up thinking only! What dilemma have you put me into?
http://www.jamesviscosi.com James Viscosi

Can’t we just wait for Keanu Reeves to save us all?
James

Hi guys
This is James here I think Nanny Goats in Panties is written by a fellow mid-lifer living in Sacramento. She pretty new at the blogging game. Ill just call her Nanny.
Thanks
James
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http://yogaforcynics.blogpot.com YogaforCynics

Dennis Hopper’s way too sober these days. In his prime, that wouldn’t have made any sense at all….
http://midlifemisfit.com JANICE WATSON

I’d shout to tell him to move but then as Mr Spock said
“The needs of the many, outway the needs of the few”
but then I’m running on hormones Mwaahaa
http://www.viewfromthecloud.com Jeff

I can’t afford to go to San Francisco so this will never be a problem for me.
http://www.shoutdaily.com Tricia

Thanks a lot. This is going to bug me all day. I’d probably spend so much time trying to decide what I was going to do that I’d miss the chance to pull the lever.
Oh, who am I kidding. I’m pull the damn lever, unless it was a child on the tracks. I don’t think even my “the hell with you and hooray for me” mentality would allow myself to run over a child.
http://damonm55.blogspot.com damonm55

I thought this was gonna be one of those “if a train left Boston traveling 45 blah-blah-blah” questions, but you saved it.
I’d pull the lever.
The dumb-ass standing on the RR tracks is gettin squashed.
http://www.sagecoveredhills.blogspot.com sage

what a funny site–that furry guy would make a true scapegoat!
As for me, I’d notice the sign by the level stating for railroad employees only and then have a clean conscience by not doing anything
http://jmainewoods.blogspot.com Mike S

Best not run over da goat!!!
How can you tell if Hopper is sober? Looks to me like a buncha his grey cells permanently jumped his tracks long ago.
http://nocleaninghere.blogspot.com Stephanie

I guess I am wondering if this is a common occurrence in cities with trolleys?
http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/ Scratch Bags

My very humble effort to present to something. Please check my blog, I am sure you won’t be disappointed.:)
http://6degreessacramento.wordpress.com/ 6 Degrees

NGIP–
Because you introduced the Dennis Hopper/Speed-verse, it means that the laws of physics no longer apply, right?
You accelerate so that the trolley *jumps* the guy, missing him by inches, only to land safely back on the tracks and slow to a gentle halt, saving all involved while still appearing to be a single-digit-IQ surfer. Duh.
http://www.hamishjoy.com hammy

That’s a tough call. If I choose to save the five lives, they will all thank me, but most ppl would also criticize me for not being noble enough to spare the one guy’s life.
If I choose to sacrifice those five lives, people would still criticize me in the end.
The best course of action is obvious, then. I make a short speech on how I’m going to sacrifice all of our lives to save that one guy, because I don’t want to be the direct cause of anyone’s death.. blah blah yada yada…
And at the critical moment, I ‘accidentally’ pull our trolley to the other track, saving our asses and knocking the idiot on the tracks out of our way. Hell, he should have known better anyway.
At worst, people would just call me clumsy… Bah. As if they don’t do that already.
http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com CatLadyLarew

OMG… I'm so confused… what to do? To hell with the people. How will we ever save the baby goat?