Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's All Fun and Games until Someone Loses an Eye

Hermosa Beach is one of those towns where if you have a friend who lives there and you visit her on a sunny Sunday, and her newly remodeled house is a block from The Strand and you WALK along this Strand to some totally hip, French Bistro for lunch, you go home feeling like you suck in comparison. Your house is a hovel. You are so not cool, not to mention that after strolling past all the volleyball players on the beach, you are now fat and pasty white as well. Oh God, why do you even bother to leave the house any more? What reason do you have to live, really?   
 
So anyway, when I first arrived at my friend's house, before my low self-worth set in, I took a picture of her cute little dog...
 



 
Her name is Wink. Can you guess why?
 
That's right. It's because she only has one eye.
 
Now, in a country where it's not OK to tell jokes like "What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?", is it politically correct to name your poor one-eyed barker 'Wink'? I'm sorry, what I meant to ask was, is it politically correct to name your optical-quantity-challenged canine 'Wink'?
 
I don't think she knows she's a one-eyed freak of a dog, but that doesn't mean if you repeatedly call her that name followed by a fit of giggles, that eventually her own self-esteem won't be crushed.
 
Actually, Wink is spoiled rotten and everyone who meets her fawns over her and asks to babysit her and she's welcome at many restaurants where the servers will wait on her hand and foot. Or paw. Or whatever. AND she lives in a gorgeous house in Hermosa Beach - did you see that hardwood floor? And if she's taken too far for a walk, she gets carried the rest of the way like a baby. This furball may as well be wearing a tiara with her pink bow. 

And if this princess is ever disturbed by the proverbial pea, she can enroll in Doga (yoga for dogs and no, I'm not kidding... I wonder what they call the dog pose... or is that like asking what they call watermelons in Louisiana?) This little furball would just need to be sure to remove her diamond-encrusted tiara before class so as not to accidentally poke her precious little head while wrapping her legs back behind her neck and breathing properly.
 
Bitch.
 
Not that I'm jealous or anything. I mean, I may not have a house by the beach, but at least I have two eyes. HA! And I don't have to bust a gut waiting all day for someone to come home just so I can pee. Double HA!
 
 
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NGiP would like to thank Tina over at The Bigger They Get for adding Nanny Goats to her blog roll. I loved Tina's recent post entitled Newsletter: Month Two Hundred Sixty Four.  It's a birthday card to her son.  It's beautifully written, moving and funny.
 



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