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Pitchforks and Torches and Mob Scenes, Oh My


Paperlessness is next to Godliness, or something like that. In a world where you risk your life and limb with bloody paper cuts and letter opener stab wounds, you do what you can to reduce the paperage.

I no longer watch how high my check numbers climb (unlike my pageload views), because I’m all about the online banking now. I don’t want to see any more paper bills if given the option.

So when Citibank offered their “All-Electronic Program”, I jumped at the chance to reduce my inbox.

This was a few months ago. And yes, I no longer receive a monthly statement in the mail. What I do keep receiving every month is a paper letter that states the following:

Your Citibank statement is now available online. This notification is part of the All-Electronic Program you enrolled in to receive your statements online only instead of in the mail.

At the end of the letter, they hope I continue to enjoy the many benefits of the All-Electronic Program.

Are they referring to the All-Electronic Program that keeps mailing me paper notifications every month? On paper? In the mail? That All-Electronic Program?

What part of “All-Electronic” replaces a statement with a different piece of paper telling me that they are no longer sending me that other piece of paper?

Any fellow Citibank cardholders interested in a consumer vigilante justice movement here?

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Nanny Goats In Panties would like to ask everyone to put their hands together for June Cleaver Nirvana for two reasons:
1. For adding Nanny Goats to her blog roll, and
2. For writing an awesomely entertaining blog. Her recent post about being a fierce camper is not only hilarious, witty, and hysterical, but it’s also funny.

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  • http://www.lovetheeclecticlife.blogspot.com Your Pal Pinki

    June Cleaver’s fierce camping was so relatable. Thanks for sharing.

  • http://jackalope.wordpress.com Sonja

    Oh the irony! Mailing a notice about not mailing paper!!!
    I haven’t evolved to paperless statements yet, but I took the major step just today of signing up for online bill pay. I’ve always kind of enjoyed the “ritual” of writing the checks to pay my bills so I could see and appreciate where the money was going – but now I like the convenience so much I wonder how I did without.
    Let’s see if they mail me something thanking me for using online paperless bill pay…

  • http://www.junecleavernirvana.com HRH

    MWAH! You are the sweetest. I loved the paperless story. That drives me insane. I have noticed that too with our insurance company that is also “paperless” but for some reason seems to send me at least one notification by mail a week. Bye, bye trees….I really needed paper confirmation that I might owe my doctor money.

  • Daniel

    Try switching to Bank of America – their paperless really is paperless. No more paper mail at all.
    No, I don’t work for BoA nor do I own stock – I just like their service.
    Well, except for having no notary in my branch.

  • http://www.shoutdaily.com Tricia

    They’re obviously slackers and must have an old goat at the helm who believes that unless it arrives via USPS, it’s lost in cyberspace. Would drive me crazy!

  • http://whatyoursayingis.blogspot.com/ Charlene

    I hear ya. I get thank you for paying us letter from Rogers Online every single month. As much as I like being thanked for being a responsible adult who didn’t buy pizza and beer instead of pay her bill, a simple pop up window would suffice. If I join your revolution do I need a sign? If so, I demand that the placards be on recycled paper…LoL.

  • http://muffin53.blogspot.com empress bee (of the high sea)

    i have to disagree with the commenter on bank of america. remember, they are the ones that open accounts for illegals. and they send us more garbage in the mail! we closed our accounts with them over the illegals and they still send us crap. yikes, i hate banks….
    and lawyers….
    and newspapers….
    and the irs….
    and, ever mind. ha ha ha
    smiles, bee
    xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  • http://onediasozarks.blogspot.com Onedia Hayes Sylvest

    If I were not so totally wiped from a hard day I would laugh but since I am I am smiling instead. I owe you a laugh