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Dear Termite: Congrats on that Bug Of The Year Award

Doesn’t it seem like only yesterday when I was showing you all the bugs I had in the house?

Hey, how many of you remember this picture from six months ago?

Yeah, that was when it was our turn to be the neighborhood pariah, kinda like in the 70s when your kid got lice or he came out of the closet: “Don’t go near him, Timmy!” Other mothers slinked past you, clutching their own children and staring down their noses with disgust because it would NEVER happen to THEM.

So anyway, my condo building in L.A. got gassed in January. And we paid a bazillion dollars for a SIX year warranty. Which was actually kinda cool because it also killed all the other dang bugs hanging out and exhibiting themselves like flashers every couple of days.

But then LAST WEEK, one of the neighbors in our five-unit building found termites coming out of a pipe in her ceiling, and promptly called Terminix. They came out and said something along the lines of:

“Oh, those are subterRAINian termites. We treated you for the OTHER kind of termites in January. Yeah, THESE termites are different. And for half a bazillion dollars (a discount, since we were just here in January) we can come out and take care of these NEW and DIFFERENT little critters. And for just a few hundred dollars more, you can get the FOUR year warranty, blah, blah, blah…”

and THAT ladies and germs, is how they get you.

Tune in next season when Terminix discovers a new species: the STRATOSPHERE termites.

* * *

Nanny Goats would like to thank Charlene over at So, What You’re Saying Is… for adding NGIP to her blog roll. She’s a fellow Humor-Blogs member (and a high school drama teacher) who taught me that Loonie is a Canadian dollar, which as you know, is equivalent to about 14 of our American dollars.

And speaking of Humor-Blogs, please click on this Humor-Blogs link to check our current ranking. A click is a vote for Nanny Goats!

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  • http://whatyoursayingis.blogspot.com/ Charlene

    Hey, thanks for the mention.

  • http://humorium.blogspot.com don

    Wait until the inter-dimensional carpenter ants show up. I had to give my exterminator automatic bank account withdrawal privileges for those babies.
    The trouble with them is you can’t see them ’cause they’re inter-dimensional. You only know they are there by the decrease in your bank balance.

  • http://www.vickysvirtualoffice.com/squidoo-lenses/ Vicky

    Just found your blog and find it very funny. Was Stumbling around when I came across it. Best find of the day. Keep it coming.

  • http://damonm55.blogspot.com damon

    …and they way to tell the difference between termites?
    A gajillion bucks only kills the ones it doesn’t. The rest of them will cost extra.

  • http://muffin53.blogspot.com empress bee (of the high sea)

    yup, two kinds in south florida too. bummer dude! drywood and subterranian.
    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  • http://www.spanielranch.blogspot.com ALF

    AAAHHH!!! Termites! Ew! Bugs! No!

  • http://www.junecleavernirvana.com HRH

    Crazy. We had a similar thing happen here. SO frustrating. Terminix is genius.

  • http://www.madmadhousewife.blogspot.com MadMad

    So, what you’re sayin’ is, I’ve been wasting all this time worrying about ticks and pine borer beetles….? Is that right?

  • http://vintagethirty.blogspot.com/ Tootsie Farklepants

    I swear it gets to the point where you’re almost willing to just live with the bugs. At least then you can afford to go out to eat.

  • http://www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com Bex

    Dude. That totally blows. I hate bugs and live in constant fear of termites. This is why I pay an apparent alcoholic a couple of hundred bucks a year to stumble around the perimeter of my house looking for evidence of them. I’m pretty sure it’s money well spent. Maybe.