Mad Hatter's Tea Partay

I think this is supposed to be a commercial for Smirnoff Iced Tea. And knowing the American censors, I'm also assuming this never aired in the U.S. Because we would have heard about all the people who were offended by it.

The Order of Redundant Orders Dept.

So, today I get an email that says the following:

Dear MARGARET ANDREWS

Thank you for your recent order. A confirmation of your order is
below. Please keep a copy of this email in case you have questions
regarding your order.

If you have any questions regarding your order please reply to this
email.

Sincerely,
Customer Service Department
Order Shipped
0017905563 . 10139I

No itemized list of the items shipped. No company name in the signature. Note the occurance of the word "order" in every single sentence, including the signature.
I might have believed them for a second if I didn't feel the distinct subliminal message trying to convince me that I had placed this vague "order".

I checked the Properties of the email which contained the following info:
Received: from mail.realhealthlabs.com ([66.153.105.9])
by alnrmxc22.comcast.net (alnrmxc22)
Return-Path: Callctr@Realhealthlabs.com
Message-ID:

I mention this so that any e-spammers crawling around the web looking for email addresses might find it here and start bombing them.

If I Had A Million Dollars

I would buy myself this chair for Christmas.

This Haystack's Needle Has Been Found

I wrote a story about a talking needle years ago and found out nobody wants stories about talking needles, or talking fruit, or talking sore throats. Then one day, somebody actually published my tragic love story between two apples (see sidebar for link to Still Life). Then, today, someone else (an online litmag called Rosco Was Thinking) has decided to publish my story about a talking needle (and a talking bunny!). You can click here if you wish to read it.

Getting Off on the One-Off

Are you ready for the new spray-on condom? No, really. It's called "Das Spray-Condom". Here's the article in English. Here's the German website.

They say it works like a car wash.

Uh....is that a touchless carwash?